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If u r out there please talk to me NOW....HELP
May 1, 2002
7:58 pm
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Honeymajig
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help

May 1, 2002
10:16 pm
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syqg
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September 29, 2010
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I'm listening.

May 2, 2002
1:51 am
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etta mae
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hey, i'm listening too. what happened?

May 2, 2002
2:09 am
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NOTHAPPY
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IS ANY ONE HERE? I'M NEW AND WANT TO TALK TO ANYBODY...

May 2, 2002
7:11 am
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UK Polly
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I'm here too. Talk!

May 2, 2002
11:54 am
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Molly
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Perhaps you posted elsewhere ? Start typing.

May 2, 2002
1:54 pm
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vanessa10
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hey not happy what's the matter? its 2:02 P.M. on friday

May 8, 2002
1:20 pm
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Honeymajig
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god...where do i begin?

life is sh*t i hate it

i wanna kill myself on and off i am having such bad depression

i can't see my doc until the 10th

b/friend trying to be supportive but just making it worse telling me to 'snap out of it' what you think i can????????

so pi**ed off with everything, knee , teaching, life sucks

have myself a concussion by banging my head on a doorframe repeatedly to block out the pain

trying everything

don't want to talk to counsellor as i don't trust anyone aymore (except you guys strangely) and i just don't want to see him

so pi**ed off with everything it is all too much and i hate everything

sorry for ranting you don't need my problems

Becca xx

May 8, 2002
2:26 pm
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Molly
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Becca I think you need some calgon bath oil beads. Some sleep, pain relief, a day at the beach, some one to clean house, soft quiet music, a massage, some deep inhalation of lavender, your favorite dinner and ice cream, and a great big hug.
((((((((((( Becca))))))))))))))

May 8, 2002
2:40 pm
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UK Polly
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Becca, please email me your phone number to [email protected] so I can call you. Hugs

May 8, 2002
9:22 pm
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Honeymajig
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i really feel i can't trust my counsellor anymore....why is this???? i don't know if it is because he is a man and i have a real problem with most of them at the moment i feel like i am going crazy i can't cope with a single thing at the moment i try to break down all the stuff in my head to try and sort it out but i can't even get over the small stuff i am not so bad as to want to hurt myself at this moment, but i feel the threat is constantly there i have started self harming again which i know is no good (i scratch, bite myself, bang my head and stuff) i just at the time feel it the only way to stop the pain inside i can't stop thinking about my brother too who i have been denied all my life.......he was my twin and he miscarried a month or two before i was born.......i knew there was something missing all my life, but my mum never told me about him until i was 10......she just came out with it one day when we were having dinner as if it was the most natural thing and everyone knew about it?????? i don't even know how she could have kept it from me.....everything kind of fell into place...the feeling of missing something.......i don't even have a place to go to remember him.....my mum talks about him as if it didn't matter as she didn't know she was having twins and she had me anyway????? i know he watched over me and i call him Stuart i don't know why. god it hurts to talk about him i can't even tell my counselor this stuff???? i miss him even though i never knew him outside the womb but i believe i still have a very strong connection to him he is my angel god i miss him so much this hurts so much i wish someone knew how i felt??????

Becca xx

May 8, 2002
9:44 pm
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Honeymajig
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anyone out there?

May 8, 2002
10:28 pm
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Honeymajig
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please?

May 8, 2002
10:31 pm
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Honeymajig
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thanks

May 8, 2002
10:32 pm
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Honeymajig
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it is 3.45am here and still no sleep... feel so awful

May 8, 2002
10:44 pm
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Honeymajig
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really trying to stop the hurting me but it takes away so much pain at the time.......i am scared now of going to my counselor as i feel kind of bad about not telling him about stuff and that he won't want to talk to me? no one is interested when i tell them stuff except for here and my b/friend........i feel so alone.......i am sitting here shivering cold and exghausted, but iam too scared to sleep because i have nightmares......i havent been outside properly for over a week because everything makes me feel so scared.....i hate being outside and just want to be asleep under the influednce of my pain pills where i am safe??? i feel so confused

Becca xx

May 8, 2002
10:47 pm
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Honeymajig
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ty blondie ... sweet dreams to you xx

Becca ((((hug))))

May 9, 2002
12:56 pm
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Honeymajig
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i slept ok after a while last night, but i feel horrible today though, my energy levels are so low and that brings me down even further, i seem to have lost interest in everything and i don't know why?

Blondie, thanks for everything you said last night, it really made a difference to me and you'll be pleased to hear 'no hurting'.

my b/friend is being very supportive at the moment, but i feel bad for pulling him down with me? just can't seem to ge my head around anything, anyway, doctors tomorrow, hopefully i will make it to counseling too, i am not sure yet, i just feel i don't know if i can tell him the stuff i want to?

any advise from out there?

take care everyone and i will be back in and out over this evening,

talk later,

Becca xxx

May 9, 2002
8:30 pm
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Honeymajig
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hmmmmmmmmmmm maybe.

i keep going through waves of feeling angry, bitter, upset, then every now and then a kind of weird happy stage where everything is left behind for a few minutes. mostly i feel angry though and i have no idea why, sometimes i feel angry at certain people and things, sometimes i don't know why i am angry. it takes me about 30 mins from realising i am getting angry to calming down again and i feel like screaming like a banshee most of the time. i just feel like i want to let out this really huge scream against the world (usually at really inapropriate moments) and just scream and yell and scream....am i loosing my mind?

May 9, 2002
9:40 pm
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Honeymajig
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i dont know....

May 9, 2002
10:44 pm
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meka l hill
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September 27, 2010
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Go see your mother, Go talk to her, Get some advice from her and see what she have to say, She mite have a nice advice for you. Don't let anything get to you, and keep your head up and think good about yourself.Fuck your counsellor and think for yourself. You have the right thing right in your heart,mjnd and soul. Don't let anything put you down.Got to go with my mother to the store, you know she is still scared of Washington D.C. She you later. Bye.

May 10, 2002
12:43 am
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meka l hill
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Why didn't you write me back yet? Help is here for you. Don't wait around for it when it's rigth here in front of you.

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