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I'd like some advice please
December 21, 1999
3:00 am
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podar
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September 30, 2010
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I left my wife of 7 years alomst 5 months ago for several reasons. I can list if anyone is interested in more detail. The point is (and this is where more detail may help) three weeks ago everything was going well on a reconciliation track. We were talking about getting back together and making plans to spend time together along (we have 2 children, one ours and one hers). Then I find out a week later that she's posted an internet personal ad and is talking to people. Now this by itself would bother me but I could handle it. The parts that bother me are as follows:
1) the Sunday following the weekend that went well, I brought the kids home after an afternoon with my parents and, when I went to let her know we were back, she closed and locked the door on me without even acknowledging my presence.
2) I brought over some XMas presents I had bought (it was late but I had warned her earlier that it may be late before I stopped by and I did have a key to her place). I opened the door to her bedroom thinking she was asleep and found her in bed with the lights off on the phone with someone who had responded to her personal ad.

When I confronted her with these I received vehement denials of anything going on, but have since caught her in a couple falsehoods. Also, I have asked repeatedly about continueing to work on getting back together. I have acceded to her request for counselling and am starting that tomorrow. But all I get from her is I don't know. She refuses to let go of the past (I did a lot wrong to her but vice versa). I have asked her to help me on the parts that I lack for her and get told she can't help me.

My question is: Am I wrong to want to get back together?
Appreciate any help posted.

December 21, 1999
12:38 pm
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eve
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podar, hi, I think the last question can only be answered by the two of you. But first you should try to find out more about yourself, congratulations to your decicion to start counseling, it will surely help you to sort things out. My opinion: a marriage of seven years is quite something, so it should be worth a try to come together again. But I'm not in your shoes and not in your wifes shoes so I don't really think I can give you more input, keep us posted. Eve

December 23, 1999
3:20 pm
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Becca
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Dearest podar.

Please read the following thread that I posted. Your situation sounds quite close to mine. I had a boyfriend who didnt treat me well and I wanted him around anyway. My opinion about this is, that NO you arent wrong for wanting her back because "Feelings" are *never* wrong as long as their not destructive to others.

My other opinion is to let her go - at least for now - because she's bringing in third parties. You wont be able to work this out until there isnt anyone else involved. I feel this, because its what im going through.

GOD be with you and if you need to talk email me

[email protected]

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