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I would love some interpertations of this dream...?
July 22, 2005
5:17 pm
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exoticflower
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I posted something about this dream in another thread about resentment and hurt, but upon some more discussion and thought about it, I was sort of hoping for other peoples insight. It's one I have reaccouringly and usually end up waking shaking and trying to scream and upset.

I am holding my daughter and standing in my ex's families foyer along the wall, almost cornered in the door or sometimes in the livingroom but still far against a wall. Both rooms have chandeleires, and in my dreams my ex, his family, the friends of his that I have gotten closest to, his parents family friends and I are trying to talk, except they are standing in a clump a few feet away looking sort of condesendingly at me. I say something offhanded about 'oh, I don't get a lot of help' or something that isn't complimentary but not really mean about her son, trying to indicate that i am not a bitch or incompetent, because everyone is looking at me like I am doing something wrong or looking to make trouble and i want them to understand that there's more to it then that. THen his mother looks very saddly at me, pursing her lips, and everyone starts kindo of defending him and trailing off, looking at me as though I am drunk or on some drugs, and he starts whispering and i know that is what he is implying. I try to explain that I'm not under any influence, but then I can't talk. There'
s rhaspy noises, but mostly it's like I am schoaking. they keep looking at me and saying things about me under their breat, like I just want to destroy their happiness or I am just looking for attention or how I'm troubled. My daughter is usually held by me until I get upset and can't talk, at which point his mother takes her and hands her to him. I am usually frustrated more becuase they are gawking and not helping, that if they would just not make it worse I could hold her fine on my own. The worst is that they are all watching with these disgusted looks on their faces like I'm just pathetic, and I know he has told them I can't speak for some sort of reason that isn't the real reason...like he must have blamed it on something that doesn't really relate just as an excuse to tell them these negative things about me. They are always under one of the chandeliers and I always think I want it to fall on them, or that it may fall on my daughter and then I get scared but know that is rediculous at the same time, which makes me feel stupid on tip of freaking out becasue I can't speak or defend myself.

Except last night. Last night in my dream I started screaming at him uncontrolably, just vile angry things about what he did, telling everyone what has happened when he is drunk, what he did, wanting to break him and see him cry. And I woke up feeling like I was screaming, and my daughter was sitting up looking around. I got up for some water and my roomate told me that I was sort of screaming, and that I sounded really angry, like a teacher. Like I was loud and firm, not really yelling like thought I must have been.

I would really love imput or whatnot here, I can figure out some of it but wonder if anyone sees anything else i could concider when going over this...all thoughts so apriciated, sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense, dreams tend to be--well, dreamlike, really.

July 22, 2005
5:31 pm
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exoticflower
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The other thing I always notice about this is that it is a party they are throwing. i am there because they threw it when I was visiting with my daughter on their request (as has really happened several times), but she is crying from it being too crowded, and I know no-one wants me there but i think it isn't fair that I have to leave her scared and go to the guestroom myself, I think that's usually how the conversation starts. iw ant them to like me and for me to be welcom, or I want to take my daughter upstairs with me so she isn'[t upset. it swiches from dream to dream.

July 22, 2005
5:34 pm
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frayedknot
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EF

You are lucky because your dreams are very vivid. Try to intrepret your dream by writing your intrpretation on this thread. Then, maybe I can help you.. The chandeliers mean something.. Your back up against the wall means something. You are trapped... They are all in a close grouping. They all think the same of you? You feel the same about all of them?... You can't talk or it's raspy.. you can't get your point across to anyone?.. nobodys' listening?... you really want to tell your side of the story?..

They are always under the chandeliers.. are they bright and expensive? Are they like a crown over them that makes you or them feel like they are better than you are?..

You are afraid the chandalier will crash on them. They think they are great and it won't last maybe? You don't want your daughter to end up with or like them? (when she's under the chandalier).

The mother takes your child and hands her to your ex. Is she the one you are most worried about taking custody of your daughter?..

Anyway, these are thoughts to put togther for yourself if you can.. When you do, it's really a neat process.

Also, think about how you "feel" about all the dream and all of the actions. Scared.... mad..... jealous... inferior.... happy... insecure.. etc..

Have fun...

Frayed

July 22, 2005
5:38 pm
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exoticflower
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The chandeliers, are actually the first things I noticed when i met his family, the first thing that really tipped me off to the fact that they where very different than me and my friends. And that they where not just wealthy, they concidered themselves a different society, something I sort of know now to be true...us and them-ish. Wow, I hadn't given it much thought, innitially they struck me as more glamourous when I saw the chandeleirs (ah, to have my own giant house one day), but later really did think about how absurd and showy they where...and I AM really afraid my daughter will be like them, both in that and in the way she feels about me under their influence.

July 22, 2005
5:48 pm
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frayedknot
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Those chandaliers represent their power over you.. You are taking it back from them.. That's why it's crashing down on them.. You don't want your daughter to get hurt in the process.. As you talk these things through... And I know what they represent to you... I can give you my interpretation. then, You will be able to do much of it yourself.. It was so interesting to me. My sister is great at it.. She helped me get started... Dreaming is a really good sign. It means your subconscious is working very hard to help you get healthy. Tell me, are you exhausted when you dream a lot? Generally, this kind of getting healthy dreaming is exhausting..

July 22, 2005
5:58 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi Flower,

According to my small book of dreams:

- Chandelier: A lit Chandelier is a good omen for social success. An unlit chandelier means it may take some time before new ideas or cocepts are accepted.

July 22, 2005
6:13 pm
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exoticflower
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I'm a single mother of a one year old, Frayed, you better beleive i'm exausted by time I go to bed EVERY NIGHT!:)

THe other thing that you pointed out there was his mother...I feel like the only reason he wants my daughter in his life at all is because he is addicted to admiration and desperate for his parents aproval, to the degree that he is practically a split personality. And he often misrepresents me or deliberatly creats drama, one time whne he was drunk and we where visiting his parents you yelled "No one believes your act!" When he was slurring falling over drunk and insisted on holding the baby, they had woken up when I was trying to get him to put her down, and his parents never said a thing to him about it, and looked at me differently. He has countless times shown his disinterest in any sort of fathering beyond for fun, right up until they get invovled and suddenly he's gung ho, and they let him be paying no mind to the fact that he is a terribly unfit father. Not THEIR little boy, and he feels like as long as he has their aproval, then he is aces and is doing the best thing. THis scene with him showting that no one beleived my act left me feeling the way that I do in my dream, humiliated, ashamed, guilty, and very angry--I know I have no reason to feel this way, and hate that people are striving to make me feel that way. I have grown to realize that is abuse of sorts, but it still doesn't shake the feeling. I guess this all sort of ties into why I feel so frustrated that they are making it worse and then taking her, too.

July 22, 2005
6:29 pm
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exoticflower
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Ras, you have a dream book, huh? Do you keep it bedside and refrence it as soon as you get up? I have a friend that tried doing that for a while, but she wore glasses and could never find them fast enough.

I have fdreams that a spider is pulling my hair, know what that means?

July 22, 2005
6:41 pm
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Rasputin
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Flowerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

Smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spider: An ambitious and resourceful person will have great influence in your life.

Could it be Angel4u???

Hair: Hair signifies energy and strength. If hair is clean and well-kept, the person has goood health. If unkempt, the person needs to regain their energy.

It's tiny concise book which I bought from Avon ladies. I am looking for bigger book about dreams. I believe in dreams. Joseph interpreted dreams.

So, there you go honey, I hope I managed to draw a smile on your sweet cute face.

The other dream before, I could not find so many words in it.

~Love, Ras~

July 22, 2005
7:58 pm
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jack122064
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I don't put much stock in dreams. I have read that part of the reason we sleep is because our brains NEED to dream, ie, sort out events and thoughts and feelings - Like a computer guy doing backup on a mainframe.

I don't recall my dreams that much, but we all dream every time we sleep. We don't remember all our dreams, so how much other "symbolism" goes on in those dreams? We'll never know, so it's not useful information.

I remember my dreams the most when I'm overtired, and then they are very weird. I also sometimes remember them when I am stressed. I dreamt of my "ex" twice, and I told her about it, when we were still speaking (but fighting). I wish I hadn't told her, because she is so arrogant she said "You have to stop obsessing about me!"

The fact of the matter is that I was stressed and depressed about many things other than her. I just shared that with HER because it was about HER. What the hell ELSE would I talk to her about? She really is way too self-important. I flattered her without meaning to, and she doesn't deserve it.

Jack

July 23, 2005
3:55 pm
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thewall
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A therapist once told me not to put much stock into the symbolism of a dream or in books which attempts to interpret a dream bc everyone will have a different interpretation. It is very freudian, very outdated and did not hold much credibility even then.

Instead focus on the feelings you are feeling while dreaming. These feelings will tell you what you are struggling with in your awake time and what you need to work on in order to heal and move on.

here is a great websight on dreaming and why we dream, especially while depressed. Hope it helps.

http://www.clinical-depression.....anding.htm

July 24, 2005
11:15 am
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2bstrong
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I didn't read all of the comments above, exotic. Just your dream-story.

My overall impression of the dream is that you are repressed in getting them to understand what you are trying to say. They don't get it in real life--they don't get it in your dream. What you are trying to say to them should be loud and clear, and it would be in any healthy, communicative relationship. My opinion is that the real breakthrough here is the scream--finally you are not tolerating their refusal to understand, to just take what they want without any concern for you or your feelings. I wonder if you will ever have this dream again?

2b

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