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I wish I had this site before our break up
May 20, 2004
7:04 pm
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memphis
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I was in an addictive relationship for the past 6 years. I feel like I lost 6 years of my life. I am 52 now and time is so valuable. I could see our relationship was ending and I wanted to break up but couldnt.I knew the first week I was with him that this wasnt right. It took a series of small explosions from me to end it.. I was constantly frustrated and on the edge and for the last year I have been pushing And when he finally had enough he sent me an email that said Congratulations you have made me finally reach my limit.....Its been a month since our breakup and I wanted to go home to my children and their families.....(my grandson aging mother etc.) I went to visit my family 3 or 4 times per year and always thought of him. He was forefront in my mind. I wondered if he was ok(hes disabled) I wondered if he was going to miss me. Thinking back now..I was really sick..He was using me so bad and I was letting him..I have been getting brief blurbs in my head that a good family was waiting for me. My kids(both married) especially are still scratching their heads. When I left I said I was going to be back in 6 months. Now,my blurbs are turning into visions of this Grandma going hom and being a mother,grandmother,daughter,sister etc. I still have a hard time. I live across the street from my addition. I didnt just pack up and run away like I would like to. I have a job and need to find another job in Wisconsin before I can move. Meanwhile trying to grow and deal with this addiction.I still have major problems on my days off. I call and start a conversation and end up telling him I hate him. Its getting slightly better every day and my 'vision is getting bigger every day"
Where was I those 6 years?

May 20, 2004
7:20 pm
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Anonymous
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Well memphis sounds like you are doing the right thing. For yourself. I was wondering why the title of your post is "I wish I had this site before out break up" I am sure why you wrote that. Like I said sounds like you are taking care of yourself and working for a better life for yourself..

May 20, 2004
8:52 pm
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Molly
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Lets hear it for the internet information high way!!!!!!!!! Many of us feel the same as you. One day at a time......... change is difficult, but you sound like its working for you. You have a six year hole that you need to fill with something different, you will survive

May 20, 2004
9:06 pm
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memphis
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Molly
I hope its working. It sure feels good to know its name..addictive relationships. The problem is that he is on the internet looking for more........He is home all day and has several old friends(woman of course) calling sometimes 5 or 6 times a day. He has woman messaging him on yahoo,AOL and groups......who will be the next one.....He reeled me in with his disabilities and his bad life. i got on my white horse to save him.....Da

May 20, 2004
10:56 pm
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CAMER
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MEMPHIS: your story is so familiar, i too get involved with men within the 1st week and know I should not be with them, and then you know 5 years of my life passed by. Breaking up is so hard to do, and you are doing the right thing, keep your mind focused on better things in life, your children, their children, your mom, you possibly moving, you now have a new life, fill it up with joy and you are taking all the right
steps necessary for a better life, and be good to you!!!

May 21, 2004
10:43 am
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memphis
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CAMER

Thank You for that. How about you? How are you doing?

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