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I want to stop this stuff!
February 7, 2001
9:11 pm
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natey
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I have a problem with internet porn. I am happily married, though my wife is living away from me for a year. I have a familial history of alcoholism. I can't help but think this is where I have learned some of my compulsive bahaviors, but I truly want to unlearn them. I tell myself all day long that I am not going to get on line tonight, but I usually end up giving in. I am a Christain and appauled by my behavior. I just have these moments of weakness and they are always followed by strong guilt. I am sometimes justify doing it, knowing that God will forgive me, but I know that's not how it works. ???

February 7, 2001
9:32 pm
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Molly
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So, slap your self and just say no. I deal with addicts, and there is a physical complication with substance abuse, it takes time unfortunately for them to get back on tract, and sometimes due to the age, and the substance it doesn't happen, but this is really stupid. You are in controll of you. You do what you choose to do. You get something out of doing this right now that serves you, it could be the thrill of the porno, the thrill of the evil Christian, the thrill of being a bad boy and not getting caught, it could be that you get off on it, but regardless what your payoff is, your getting it. So just don't go there if you want to stop. Just keep busy,but I won't buy into any sort of compulsion excuse. Don't even go into the God will forgive me stuff, if you want to get off, then get off, but if you don't then don't. Like smoking, this is a diversion from doing something you don't want to do, or boredom, its there its easy, its rewarding and no one knows. Like the drinker that drinks alone, just a diversion from being responsible. I suggest that you call your wife if you want or need attention, because this is what I get from your post. I don't mean to be harsh, but won't co-sign whinning . Besides I guess I have an agenda with the internet porno crap, to many people making money off family and value distruction. Get over it.

February 7, 2001
10:33 pm
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natey
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you are so right! I needed a slap!

February 8, 2001
7:55 am
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janes
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Wait..maybe you WANT the slap?

As a fellow Christian I need to mention that God WILL forgive you...but you will still have to explain to HIM WHY you continued the immoral behavior when you KNEW and ADMITTED it was wrong.

I believe God is on your side but free will plays a large part in this.

YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!

YOU NEED HELP!!!

This type of addiction is just that...an addiction.

The shame of the entire situation would be knowing that and not seeking professional help!!

February 8, 2001
1:17 pm
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gingerleigh
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I might be way off base here, but don't lots of healthy men in happy relationships look at porn? (Not constantly of course, but sometimes?)Men (and women!) have sexual needs, and if you two are far apart for a long time, it is understandable you get lonely and physically needy.

Is porn right or wrong? Who's to say, I guess it is whatever triggers the guilt factor for you. I personally don't find porn all that interesting, so I don't look at it. If you feel guilty about it, then don't continue to look at it.

As suggested, maybe when you get that urge, call your wife, maybe a little real-time real-life phone chatting with her would be fun. There's nothing wrong with getting off with your wife when you are together, right? So what's the difference if it is over the phone? You both might really like that, and *you* might find that the internet porn just pales in comparison.

Just a thought, hope I didn't offend. Good luck with everything.

February 8, 2001
8:00 pm
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Molly
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Like Janes said you might like it, so in a way as I was eluding to might be what gets you off, the bad boy thing, and cry for attention. Porn is more normal for men, than women as Gingerleigh was referring to, but when you do it then want to be punished for it, is a different ball game. I like the idea, of phone sex with the spouse, she just might come home!!!!!!!!!!!

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