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I want to say this to my ex:
October 15, 2004
1:42 am
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art angel
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I really really want to send this to him in an e-mail. I don't think I should, but I dunno...

(from "Hurt" a Nine Inch Nails cover sung by Johnny Cash)
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

I wear this crown of thorns
In YOUR liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

(I changed a word or two and omitted a coupld lines... but this is how I feel about the break up. I really want to send this to him. But I guess, what good would it do? I just want him to hurt. That is mean of me.)

October 15, 2004
1:44 am
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Zinnie
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Art,

My best advice?

If you have broken up - leave it be.

Z.

October 15, 2004
2:04 am
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art angel
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Yeah, you are right, Z. I won't send it, if only for the fact that I don't want him to know I'm hurting so bad-I don't want him to know I'm having such a hard time. :,(

October 15, 2004
2:12 am
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Zinnie
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Trust me when I tell you this Art, time is your best friend. It will hurt less each day. Just keep busy and keep looking forward, not focused on the rear-view mirror.

Z.

October 15, 2004
2:55 am
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SassyAlex
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So friggin funny because I wanted to send that exact song to my ex (the NIN version). It reminds me of him and his heroin. I like all of the lyrics.

October 15, 2004
12:23 pm
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kathygy
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Don't send the email. It will only keep you hooked in because then you'll start wondering if he got it, how did he react, will he write back etc. Let go of this man and start your healing. You are grieving but you will get over with it and the sooner you start the sonner you will be over it.

October 15, 2004
12:30 pm
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Anonymous
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I agree..Not worth it to send that.Let it go, you won't regret it!

Sunny

October 15, 2004
3:48 pm
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SweetAmanda
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That NIN song was my 'breakup' song so-to-speak with my 'first love' years ago...It still makes me sad to hear it. I can feel the pain in Reznor’s voice.

Anyways, Angel, do not send it to him... I used to do stuff like that with my ex’s. Not only are you too good for him (don’t give him that satisfaction)…But this is something that you need to work on with yourself. He may never be able to understand what he did to you. Saying something to him about it may seem to him like you still need him. But it’s good to write about it, feel it, and share it with us. You have to remind yourself that things are very different between you and him now, you can’t share with him how you feel like you used to. (If you ever did that is!) Love ya! ~Amanda~

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