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I want to cry, can you just listen?
September 4, 2000
11:35 am
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Jasmine
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I know I shouldn't feel sad, but I do.....I feel very stupid that I fail to make myself staying happy.......why I am going back? I want to forget but I failed. I want to cry. I don' tknow why, I just want to ....but I know that won't be of any help. what can I do? I feel confused...lost of direction....I hate this feeling....I don't want this. I want to be in control of my own life. I want to cry.......

September 4, 2000
12:42 pm
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Jaskid
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Jasmine,

When I feel like I want to cry...I do! It seems like I want to cry more often than laugh, but when I get those couple of laughs out I feel a little better and It gives me strength to go on. I know exactly how you are feeling...You start to feel better about yourself and your life and then all of a suddenly those negative feelings creep back in. Try not to let them! I think we can be in control of these sad feelings...how is the question? I am struggling with this myself. It seems like such an easy choice....think positive, but saying it and doing it are two different things. How do we train our minds to disregard those thoughts and feelings that are only going to bring us down. Damnit, I'm a fighter...how do I do this? Is my mind stronger than my spirit? I don't think so. I think once we get in touch with our spiritual being...all this other crap will fade and seem like it's not a big deal. So I'm sad...am I going to stop breathing because of it, no...We have to start to realize that these feelings are not going to kill us. Why can't we take them for what they are...just feelings that are temporary and will pass...hopefully replaced by positive, good, happy feelings. I am asking God to help me stop wanting. I will never except the now if I am waiting for something to change for the future. I know I will never be happy in this moment if I am wishing for something else. I will never be satisfied with a relationship or a friendship if I am waiting for the other person to change. This is a very new concept for me but I am starting to understand that if I stop wanting I will find the joy and peace of TODAY.
Here's a quote I found that gave me some comfort:

"Wanting is the urge for the next moment to contain what this moment does not. When there's wanting in the mind, the moment feels incomplete. Wanting is seeking elsewhere. Completeness is being right there."
.........Stephen Levine

Take Care,
:)Jaskid

September 4, 2000
5:53 pm
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cry, cry! after that u'll feel lighter! u're lucky to be a woman cause they express their emotions more easily. men have those ego problems and they can think that they shouldnt cry since they are a man. it shouldnt be like this.. crying shouldnt be stopped..

i read somewhere suicide rates are higher in men then in women, thats cause they express more freely to their friends, to ppl they know. so cry! its better for you! u'll feel relaxed after it.

September 5, 2000
12:50 pm
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Molly
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Isn't there always a rainbow, after the rain?

September 6, 2000
4:28 am
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hazza
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the body contains all sorts of chemicals - now scientists have analysed the chemicals intears - and you know what?
tears cried through sorrow have different levels of chemicals to those cried through humour.

Crying is a way for your body to purge certain chemicals - that is why we feel better afte crying.

so all of you out there -when you feel bad - go and CRY! sob it all out and totally feel sorry for yourself - afterall you love yourself right? so feel sorry for yourself when you feel down.
BUT THEN, whe the crying is done - go look at yourself in a mirror and wipe those tears away and smile at yourself - love yourself - you are now ready to get back into the challeneges of life and it aint gonna beat you.
make the decision to like yourself - find out about that whcih youa re good at and focus on it.
that which youdon't like - forgive yourself and others for - decide that as time passes youwill try to change those things and become a better person - but realise that you are a good person already.

you must make the concious decision to like yourself - it aint just gonna happen. so stop beating yourself up. try to be less harsh on others and try to be less harsh on yourselves.
it is the only way.
none of us can go one hating ourselves for ever canwe? about time to welcome a bit of peace into ur lives.
hugs to yo all
Hazza

September 6, 2000
3:16 pm
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rc101
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Hi, I know that I have heard a lot about "if you want to forget about your troubles, give service to others". There are a lot of areas for people to serve others in the community. I know I'm not one to talk, but maybe that will help.

September 8, 2000
11:06 pm
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Jasmine
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Thank you so much for all your response. yes, when I started to feel better, those depression set in ......that was horrible.... and the situation worsens when you feel bad about feeling bad........
so, I cried finally, .... I can't help it. and after that I can then calm down and think about the problem........I have not yet solve them all..... because a large part of it is not control by me....... hope things will clear up soon.

September 10, 2000
5:43 pm
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Brenda
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It s great that you can FEEL, feeling is imp, so many repress their feelings nad become numb and no longer even know how they feel, write on top of a page in your journal "sadness' then "anger" then "fear" and other powerful emotions and then write down under each one how you feel this feeling. This is a great way to break through the ice of repressed emotions and start emotional processing which is the path to true healing...if you keep them repressed you can end up terminally depressed or subject to anxiety and panic disorders..
When you feel sadd, good, bawl your eyes out, this is healing....and it doesnt matter if you dont know why..just do it. blessings

September 19, 2000
8:23 am
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Jasmine
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I am exhausted

September 19, 2000
3:05 pm
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Molly
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You must be holding back, get your pillow, and go into a closed room, and scream your head off, scream some more and more and more and more. You will cry, and then you will laugh, get all the ca ca out, then write it all down, write what you need to do, what needs to change, what you want, why you are sad, angry upset disappointed, and get the pillow and go cry and scream some more. It does no good to hold it is, and action is the cure. You will sleep well, and not feel so tired, it takes change, and that takes action.

September 20, 2000
2:24 am
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pint
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I came in here looking for someone to talk to. Little did I know that how you're feeling is EXACTLY how I feel RIGHT NOW! I want to cry .. I'm on the verge of crying. And yet I want to scream, but I can't.

Ever get that feeling of just wanting to curl up into a ball and just drift away?

September 23, 2000
4:26 am
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Jasmine
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I was exhausted... Molly, maybe you're right that I hold back. I just feel that I am extremely exhausted.....like I need lie down on a bed and then sleep for days..........but when I tried to sleep, I just feel that I am tired physically, but my brain is still active....and then I fail to sleep...that continues for more than a week.....partly because of my boss...she is extremely demanding. for whatever I did, whether it is my duty or extra work I did, she just take it for granted. no appreciation. for things I didn't do according to her unspoken standard, I was wrong.....I was under extreme stress....and finally, I can't help it. One day, she complain me and one of my colleague to a superintendent, she just scold us badly in front of him and said she must complain us to the head of the department.....blah, blah, blah,....and her scream continues for long time.......I was not there at that time. But when she was in front of me, she wouldn't say a word. she never told me that she is not satisfied. she never tell me what's her standard, then how could she expect me to "correct" and "work properly"???????? AND if I did same thing again, she said (in front of others, not me) I was "wrong" not only once...... Isn't this unfair to me??? The next day, the other colleague who was also complaint by her talked to me, and then I can't help it, I just cried in front of my colleague. I feel extremely bad about this, as she has never seen what I have done, but just condemn me as irresponsible.... don't you know that I have worked overtime for the past weeks so as to finish her work asap? I was already very tired because of the heavy workload, and she thinks that I have no commitment to my work and was lazy........ luckily, the superintendent understands that the problem lies in her rather than us..............and he told me that "never mind what she says, keep up with your work, but you have to understand that you'll always have to face her unreasonable demands."

so, I cried. my eyes were tired, real tired and then I sleep finally. today, I decided to go shopping. To shop away those stress........but monday, I have to face her again. I hate this.

September 23, 2000
7:16 pm
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Claudia reb.
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September 24, 2010
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Jasmine,
Do acknowledge your crying needs and let them be. Dont fight them. Cry until your tears stop. Get under a tree, or inside a car to allow yourself your crying. You might be crying for long standing issues you are not even aware of right now. Your working setup is bringing you unconscious memories of old days and who knows how many people have put you in that kind of spot, expecting your being perfect. Let that go. Once you start to allow yourself to your crying, you will see a big change. I have been there before and now I recall those days and feel proud that I was able to express myself in every which way that I could then, although I didnt know why. Now when I feel sad or something like it, and want to cry, I even tell people that I need to cry, I go to my room, shed all my tears and after a while I leave my room like a new person. Crying doesn´t kill and it´s like rain, sometimes it rains and sometimes it doesn´t. It´s ok to cry yourself out.
You are healing yourself. Dont be afraid.

September 24, 2000
12:47 pm
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Molly
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So I hear maybe its time to look for a new job, or opening,can't let her get to you, but I know how hard it is, I have been there before. Do remember to laugh, its her problem not yours, my yoga instructor, has suggested that when we are about to go over the edge, and cry or say something to excuse your self for the moment, tell the other to hold that thought, and go immediately into down dog position for 5 deep breaths. That should crack them up, or at least diffuse your tension with the thought of that on Monday, Its so hard, trying all the time, just do what you need to do to get promoted, or out, it is, after all, just a job.

September 24, 2000
2:45 pm
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lover2000
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I understand what you're going through, I feel that way myself sometimes, Before I start, I don't know what you believe, and I don't mean to offend you. However, when I get like that, I just fall in the floor and call out to God. I say , Lord have mercy on me. Then I pray and remember the verse John 14:1 "Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God." My word to you, is that everything is going to be all right. Just keep your head up and be strong, your pain will be over before you know it.

September 24, 2000
8:53 pm
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mcc
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Hey Jasmine, I've read all the responses to you and what you wrote and I can really feel your pain. You may be suffereing from some depression. Have you lost interest in the things you usually like to do? Have your sleep and eating changed. I think cryoing is very therapuetic but if you have been feeling this low for more than a couple of weeks you may want to consider going to see a counselor. I wish you the best.

September 30, 2000
10:53 pm
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Jasmine
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Dear all,
Thank you for all your postings.

mcc: I don't know if i am suffering from some depression or not. I jsut feel bad, and like you said, lost interest in a lot of things. like, when I go for party or dinner with my friends, I would be happy in the beginning, then completely lose interest in the middle of the gathering....then I would retreat and stay away from the group. I don't know why but that happened several times.

molly: unfortunately, this is a new job. I changed to this new job because I thought this is a better one, but what happened disappointed me very much.... hm... the deep breath technique is really useful, thanks.

claudia reb.: I have problem in crying. I mean, I haven't cry for years already. I have forgotten how to cry. it's just sth happened earlier this year that make me cry again. Then, it's like I can't stop it. I "want" to cry often, even tiny little things that I wouldn't care in the past could make me cry now. I found this annoying, but I do want to cry............so like you guys said, I just cry whenever I feel like to . .... but now, my eyes feel sore, tired. ............ and I still feel kind of lost.

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