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I think today is the end of my relationship
February 4, 2005
11:47 am
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dustygirl
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I just can't take the up's and down's anymore in my relationship. I asked my b/f this morning to give me an honest and sincere answer by Sunday about our relationship, whether he really see's it as a relationship, just a rebound from our marriages, his "mid-life crisis" or what. He is struggling so much with his wife he has been separated from for the past 2 years and is in constant contact with her for the past couple of months. I told him to PLEASE tell me whether he is considering reconciling as I will not stop him, but don't want to be strung along until he figures it out.
We are together all the time - physically, but emotionally he's just not there anymore. I told him that I am at a fork in the road with our relationship and I am starting to go down the "road less traveled" which is being alone - biggest fear of mine. I know he isn't hurting me intentionally and is sick to death with me always wanting these conversations, but I need, want and deserve to have answers.
His wife sent him a text message this morning (he doesn't know I saw it) but it said that he has been on her mind allot lately. It kills me inside, but I know i have to let him go to figure things out.
Please pray for me today - I have to remain strong but feel like I am dying inside knowing that he is going to tell me what I don't want to hear.

February 4, 2005
11:55 am
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lucyndesi
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Dear dusty, I so have been in your shoes..Still am. Mine strung me alone 6 yrs & yes, he had a mid-life crisis, he thinks it is greener on the other side..But, I will tell you something about your situation. It won't kill you(even if feels like it is)& there is a bigger & better picture for you even if you can't see it right now..I settled for what I got but, no ones deserves crumbs..You deserve someone who love you & only you uncodiotnally & wants what is best for your life...The only way through this...is through it!!! I wish you strentgh & peace..we are here for you..lucy

February 4, 2005
11:58 am
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lostinthismess
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I feel for you in a huge way as I have been struggling with a difficult marriage lately. It is so hard tolet go. just know that you are in my prayers as you travel down this very difficult path in your life. Be strong. Sometimes the strength we find within our selves is all we have to lean on.

February 4, 2005
12:41 pm
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balancesekr
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hi dusty, I am praying for you. I am facing being alone and getting to know myself. Looking for the answers outside ourselves does not work, we end up right here where we are now.
I agree that the only way out is through, we have to go through the pain and work with it. Letting go of the outcome is so hard to do, it seems almost impossible but you may need to do that for yourself in this situation. Take care of yourself, do something nice today. love, balance

February 4, 2005
2:18 pm
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ILSILS
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DUSTY,

February 4, 2005
2:21 pm
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ILSILS
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OOPS-
im with ya hun, lets do it togeather ok?
i believe its over with for me too. we made up a seperation agreement last night. i havnt talked to him all day. it sucks i feel like im loosing my closest friend. although he never was a really good one. im just lonely and i reconize that. but i have this site and it will keep me going i hope. feeling depressed today. but i know im strong,and i know you are too, we will both prevail.

February 4, 2005
2:23 pm
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ILSILS
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man it hurts though doesnt it. but it isnt the loss of them that we are mourning, its the loss of what we hoped would be.

February 4, 2005
2:25 pm
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kathygy
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dusty, If he can't be honest and direct with you let him go. It sounds like you already know the answer to your questions. He's not there emotionally and there'sw probably a good reason for that that has nothing to do with you. Don't let him string you along. Take action and walk away.

February 4, 2005
2:34 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi dusty: I really feel for you. Its a tough spot to be in when you're not in the #1 spot, but rather the Plan B of their life, ot their back up plan. No one wants to fell like that. Everyone deserves to be the special one in their lovers life. Its heartbreaking to be where you are but you will survive and hopefully better things are ahead. I don't know if its good to be waiting around for him- maybe split for awhile til he figures it out- its not nice to leave you hanging like that- its like he's using you in the meantime. SD

February 6, 2005
9:08 pm
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sexychocgirl
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hi i am not the one to tell you to leave. i really don't know whats best for you.i do know what its like to be used,and then shot to the curb.i would ask my self.the moment i understand this realtionship no longer meets my needs why cant i move on? why do i always get left holding the bag? at some point why cant i do the grown up thing. make good choices for my self.and you know it feels good letting go. i mean it hurts. but i dont feel striped because i let go. i said, it was over, not him. you hit the road jack, not me.the answers came when i began to get honest with me.i got tired of being miss columbo. i know it was over.so the men did for me what i could not do for myself.which was leave me.just for today i have just a little self love,respect, and dignity.... so breath, to thine own self be true.. good luck i here for you no matter what. this behavior we didn't learn it over night.. so be easy on yourself...

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