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i thing something is wrong with me
April 18, 2001
8:45 pm
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Anonymous
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 24, 2010
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hi this is a first time user of this service..8 months ago was raped by a trusted friend of 13 years..i have been to some councilling sessions and used the hot line when i needed to but now i feel i need more....i am no longer the same person i used to be..am no longer a social butterfly..i dont really go out of the house only to do the shopping,kids to school and theie outing ect things like that...my feelings are inside of me but i have place them in a place and cannot seem to find them...i feel very "numb at heart"....i have very few support people around me and my closest friend doesnt seem to understand how i feel....i have put on weight...for my own protection this i have done subconsiously....have shaved my hair off but is a good length now...and i am starting to look like a woman again.....i dont like men looking at me..i am very lucky to have an understanding partener who takes me for who i am and respects me....even in the bedroom...i cant seem to shake this numb feeling inside of me...i want my confidence back,i want the old happy social me, i feel so blocked out from the real world....i have two girls who i protect...if they have a problem at school for example i am up there no probs...it is just me for me that i am having trouble with i just want to feel something in my heart again, i dont like this feeling at all....can you help me please....

April 18, 2001
9:09 pm
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salna
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September 24, 2010
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Hi
I know what you are felling. Imagine the person you once trusted has betray you this must really feel teribele. It is ok to feel what you are feeling. But please do not aloow this to take control you. Yopu have given him enough power as it is. It is time to take charge of your life. Do not give him the power to distroy you he is not worth it.Think deep and hard about it do you really think that he deserve all that power you are giving him. I know that you are hurting, angry and even possible ashame. Ashame of what ? Who you are or what he did to you. You are not responsible for his action. So please do not punish your self. Take cahrge my girl be strong cry all you want, scream all you want, but do not let him destroy you. I know that you are a strong person it will take time but i promise you that you will feel better with time. In the mean time love yourself do something nice for your self enjopy who you are nurture who you are becasue you my love is worth it. Let me hear from you soon
love salna

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