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I relate to so many here
September 5, 2007
3:52 pm
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twinmomn3
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September 27, 2010
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I am a 30 year old married mom of 5 kids. My head is hurting from my husband who thought I was being a bitch by waking him up for work so he grabbed me by the back of my head and forced me to the ground. He has been in jail before for this reason and yet I take him back.
This is my third marriage and I really thought I could "save" him. His single mother commited suicide in the next room when he was 13 years old. He was a great guy most of the time so we can overcome his anger problems right?
The first was one of the worst 7 stitches in my head. A broken toe, fat lip. I believed him when he said it would not happen again. I can not count the number of times on all my fingers and toes it has. Although it is not as often anymore. Still as severe sometimes.
I was not raised like this my parents are still happily married.
I want to walk out so many times. I am not working and I can not imagine taking my kids to a shelter. Besides the few I have checked out want birth certificates shot records and several other things my husband has locked in his safe. The killer part is I know he loves me. All the horrible vicious names he calls me that I try to blow off. That go on for days, I know he does't mean. He has threatened to kill me and tells me he wishes I would die but then says he did not mean it and would never kill me.
You know I could probably go on like this for years and keep putting up with this and keep trying to save him but I have 5 kids. 4 wonderful boys and 1 little girl. Like I said I did't grow up like this so I can not even imagine but I have read a few threads. I don't want my kids to ever write what I have read about children who did grow up in this situation. He has told me that he would stop at nothing to find me or get me back and he has the resources for this so what do I do? Please help Thank-you all in advance

September 5, 2007
4:37 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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wow, you should get out, and I think one of the reasons he doesn't stop abusing you, is cuz you let him!! please stand up for yourself, let him know you will not put up with his behavior.

do you have any friends or family you can stay with??

After so many years of abuse, please don't get "used" to it, it will just get worse.

Obviously, your hubby, has no respect for you or love you the way you should be loved. He needs help.
And I know you need to get away.

Please (((twinmomm))) get some help and get out asap.

(((camer))

September 5, 2007
7:44 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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twinmomn3,
A man who gives you a fat lip, who breaks your toes, gives you cuts that need stitches DOES NOT LOVE YOU!
He depends on you. You are not doing him any favors by staying. You are not doing yourself any favors by staying. AND you are not doing your children any favors by staying.

There are many strong women and men at this site who are facing or who have faced your problem. They will be there for you. Meanwhile, seek help from friends, family or church.

((twinmomn3))

September 5, 2007
8:21 pm
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tella2
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Twinmom
I have been where you are and there is no other way but to get out.Seek help from a abuse shelter for womwn.They can help you get a plan to-gether or help you get out now.We are the role models for our children..so show them how strong you are. I know the devil you know is sometimes less frightening then the one you don't( like making it on your own)There are people to help you..I will be praying for you and the kids.

September 5, 2007
10:08 pm
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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Did you read the recent story about the father who shot his three daughter after their mother left? How about the man who shot both his wife and MIL but the wife survived? Or about the one in Chicago where the husband hacked pieces of his wife and threw them away in different cases, my grandfather killed my grandmother. The stories are endless of women who felt the exact same way as you feel about their abusive husbands and spouses. They wanted to believe that their husbands loved them even if they abused them over and over and showed little value or respect for their lives. It must be difficult for you but I think you only have one option in this case and that's to get you and your children out of this situation. No shelter will turn you and your children away because you have no birth certificates or documents. like it was suggested you need to contact a shelter and they can start to help you prepare to leave him safely. One more day with this man is one too many. All the best to you. Be strong. Keep us posted.

September 5, 2007
10:40 pm
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soofoo
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September 24, 2010
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You are in grave danger. You can and should go to a battered women's shelter. Do not be concerned about birth certs. They are not necessary, nd can be obtained later anyway. Do not believe anything he says either. He works very hard at keeping you believeing you can't do it without him.

I know you are scared to leave. But once you are free you will marvel at how you ever could have thought it was worse without him. The sooner, the better.

You will need help from the police and the courts. And you will get it. Report him.

Why do you think he doesn't mean it when he threatens to kill you?

You need to get out, and this is without question the only way, because a man this bad cannot change enough, nor is it ever worth the risk even if he could.

But in the meantime, please take these precautions.

1. Do not let him know you come to this site.

2. Pack a bag for you and the kids (just the real necessities) and leave it in your car. With a little cash.

3. When you go, (if it is you who must go) do not go back in the house unless he is incarcerated.

4. If you feel a fight coming on, Go outside. Go where neighbors can see and hear.

5. When he is angry, stay out of the kitchen, bathroom, basement and garage. Anywhere heavy and sharp objects are.

Good luck to you. I was punched for waking up my xbf. I was also kicked for letting him sleep in and be late for work.

I have four kids and am 31. I was married once. My kids were 5 months, 2,3 and 6 when I got rid of the 5 month old's dad (the one who punched me and kicked me). I had no job and no money. It was the best time of my life because I was free.

Good luck and God bless you.

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