Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
I REACHED NEW LOWS LAST NIGHT AND NEED ALL THE ADVISE AND HELP I CAN GET. SORRY.
May 6, 2007
11:22 am
Avatar
santino
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I said I was gone for good, but I need you. I need you now more than ever. I'm sorry.

I can't believe what I did. I can't believe what I said. I'm so ashamed.

Yesterday I had friends come over to watch the fight. It started off like a regular night, we had food, drinks and lots of laughs. As the night progressed we or should I say I, got really drunk. I mean really drunk. I'm not the type of drunk idiot who says I don't know what happend or make stupid excuses for my stupid drunk actions. But last night took the cake for my actions.

Here it goes, 2 of my buddies have attractive girlfriends and we were talking in the kitchen and I made advances at both of them. I told them their boyfriends were kids and they couldn't do what I could. Whatever the fuck that means, excuse my language. As the night continued my buddy approaches me with what his girfriend had told him. I blew up on him, I denied it, called his woman a dirty name and threatend to beat him up. This is my good friend. As I was walking my sister in law to her car, I came across the other girl, my other buddies girlfriend, before she could say a word I was kicking her out of my house telling her she was nothing but drama and I wanted her to leave. The poor girl just came to my house to have some drinks and a good time. As they were leaving my friend of 20 years, we grew up together comes up to me mad as shit and tries to kick my ass. Lucky for both of us my brither was there to stop the fight. We tried to talk to eachother but we were so drunk we couldn't say what we really wanted to. I appologized to him and his girlfriend but I don't think thats enough.

I went back to my house and broke down. I cried myself to sleep. I said and did so many stupid things last night I'm ashamed to call myself a person. How could I do those things to my friends. I love them both and I hurt them so bad, I lost their trust and I don't know what to do. I don't think I could ever get their respect back. How can a friend do what I did. I'm nothing. I'm a lowlife peice of shit.

Please help me all, I don't know where else to turn to, I don't know who else to talk to. Please help me in my time of need. Please give me advise and help me. I'm so sorry.

May 6, 2007
11:27 am
Avatar
danielle7373
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi santino... first of all, you're not a low-life. you just got drunk and did something you probably shouldn't have done. we've all been there.

there's nothing to take it back, but i think you can try to call your friend and his girlfriend and apologize - sincerely. don't beg for forgiveness. just tell them where you're coming from and that you're sorry. tell them you've been working to get your life together but alcohol got in the way, and you will stop drinking and continue seeking help.

i recommend not drinking anymore - at least for a loooong time ( i don't know you're whole story - just saw this post).

May 6, 2007
11:31 am
Avatar
danielle7373
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i'm here if you want to talk more.

May 6, 2007
11:35 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Santino,

All those under lying issues are clearly coming to the surface when you drink. I'm sure you are very jealous of your buddies having attractive girlfriends, I'm sure you low self esteem and not having someone special gets the best of you especilay when you are drinking.
I would suggest like danielle said to stay away from the booze for a long time. I would also suggest go to counseling or get into a 12 step program for codependy. It seems the same issue is still very much alive and inside of you and needs to be addressed.
I would also appologize in a very sincere way not one where you are looking for simply but in expressing needing to get some help for yourself. That's about all you can do at this point, if they forgive you great and if they don't all the more reason to reach out for further help.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

May 6, 2007
12:29 pm
Avatar
gracenotes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Santino,

I would apologize in a sincere way, not from the point of feeling so bad about yourself, but in a way that acknowledges you did some bad actions, you are sorry, you take responsibility, and, before you apologize, give thought to what you are going to do and what your plan is so this stuff will not happen again. Only you know what this thing is. Maybe it is laying off the drinking, maybe it is some kind of 12-step program. Apologies are just as much about you as the other person. It is a way of clearing yourself and getting on to the next step.

I hear your sincerity, and the lows of the lows are not an accident. They are events, wake-up calls that ultimately lead to growth and healing. It sounds like you have the openness and willingness to do something about this, and this is a good thing. Take care.

May 6, 2007
1:44 pm
Avatar
Pom 34
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Santino,

I am new here, but it looks like you are being too hard on yourself. Of course you are sorry for what you did (or else you wouldn't be HERE!) but your actions (under the influence of alcohol) are not who you are. We are not always what we do...You could forgive yourself. I have learned that's the best way to truly back up an apology is not to repeat the behavior in the future. Perhaps you could do whatever you think you need to do to ensure that. Don't beat yourself up, man, trust me, from my experience, it only leads to more behavior that I don't want to repeat. If they don't forgive you, then you can deal with that if it happens, but you don't have to waste time worrying about it. If they do forgive you, then be grateful for the wonderful friends you have. I see you have written "sorry" in your headline up there. Why? You don't have to be sorry, you could choose to take action. Just do what you think is right and all will be as it should, maybe not how you want, but you can find a way to deal with anything, if you want to. Later, after you have calmed and forgiven yourself, you could look at why you acted that way. Maybe you could think of what you would tell a friend if they came to you saying what you have told us here. Tell yourself all those things. Hang in there and everything will be ok if you let it. With pain, we can experience growth. Thoughts of peace to you, Pom 34

May 6, 2007
4:07 pm
Avatar
santino
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks everyone for responding. I apologized 2 my 2 friends this morning. Water under the bridge. They knew I was drunk and didn't mean anything by my actions yesterday.

Still, I'm pretty ashamed of what I said and did, but like you all said, I have to forgive myself and learn from my mistake and move on.

Thanks for being their for me all. 🙂

May 6, 2007
4:39 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I wouldn't encourage you to spend much time feeling shame, but that was pretty bad misbehavior and it is good for you to feel conscience about it.

Maybe this is a wake up call for you to look into your drinking, and your issues with women, sex, and violence.

I can hear that you care about your friends and I am glad they are forgiving with you.

Take care.

May 6, 2007
10:47 pm
Avatar
horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Santino, There can be many lows in our lives. I can only speak from my own experience. If we are not taking care of ourselves or having are needs met than we can act out in very distuctive ways. I bet you never meant to hurt a soul but you were just expelling your frustrations. Acohol is lethal when we at in pain within ourselve. Always causes more grief. I have tried to escape myself through other people and whatever and it never works out. But I am glad you are aware of your actions . because unless we figure out what triggers theses behaviors than the lows can get even lower. I am glad you are honest with yourself and I admire that about you, horsefly

May 7, 2007
6:47 am
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello. I read your piece here. One drunken night isn't going to change who you really are. You're not at the best place right now and that is ok. You are doing the best you can to move on from something that still aches at you and the fact that your friends have these great girls is hard on you. I understand this cuz I once got really drunk and did something really stupid myself. I could kick myself for that. When I think about it I am so embarrassed and humiliated but life goes on and this will pass. You just are still in the thick of it as it just happened. Your buddies will understand, afterall they are not so perfect either and if this was turned around, you'd be sympathatic as a friend too. Things happen in life that we regret or wish did not happen. You are still that great guy, just got drunk and stupid. I see your friends forgave you, now all you have to do is forgive yourself. You're like me harder on yourself than others. But you know what, something is around the bend, just have faith, and learn a lesson not to get too trashed like this. You end up feeling worse in the morning anyway. Take care, Im laying low on the site but gotta step in to talk to you buddy.

I listen to You've Got a Friend over and over this weekend driving down the road in my jeep. Love the version by Carole King. Your darkest night will pass, Santino.

May 7, 2007
11:48 am
Avatar
santino
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Taj, it's always good to hear from a friend. 🙂

All seems ok now, I spoke to my friend last night and every thing seemed ok. I apologized and seemed to have squashed it. He assured me that he trusts me and he thinks I was just talking shit.

The truth, I don't know, I'd hope that I'd have enough sense to not do anything with my buddies girlfriend, but who knows with the state I was in.

Whats done is done. No point in reliving the situation over and over again. I can't change the past all I can do is learn and move forward.

Taj: You're right about the aches of my last relationship, she called work a few nights ago, thankfully I was not there. She spoke to a manager and said she was having a great time and she loves Texas more than L.A. When my co worker told me she called my heart and brain started playing tricks with me, I got sad. In a way I had wished I was there that night to talk to her. But I know thats not gonna solve anything. I ended contact and asked her to stay away, I have to stick by my guns if I want to recover.

May 7, 2007
12:26 pm
Avatar
smarterone
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Santino
I guess we all come back right. I give you credit for having the sense to call your friends to apologize. See thats one of my bad points. Dont get me wrong i have never drank anddone that or anything like that, but i find it hard to call anyone when there is the slightest misunderstanding and i guess that is a fear from childhood. I was always abused from dad and not allowed to speak up and never tried, so i find it hard to be in a situation like that. Im glad for you that it all went while just one bit of advice....dont drink HAHA. Really if thats the results why bother, seems like you have some good friends you could lose for good. I really dont have any. I have enough shit on my plate and the bitch is, i never caused any of it. My 31 year old son is my abuser. If you have read my threads you should know by now. But as for you. We are here anytime. Good luck Santino.

May 8, 2007
7:53 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Im short on time, and cannot say too much but thinking of you, and have a lot of faith. Pick the path you want to be on and always move forward and not backwards. If you keep that in your mind, you will make amazing strives. MOVE FORWARD, NOT BACKWARDS. I keep that in my mind everyday. Amazing few words have best meaning. You are indeed treasure that I am sure has not been discovered by the right person. Have faith. Good luck.

May 8, 2007
11:13 pm
Avatar
santino
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for stopping by Taj, always a pleasure to hear from you and all. Thats great advise, moving forward that is. I've been stuck between reverse and nuetral for so long now the only way to go is forward. 🙂

Both friends seem to have forgotten the whole ordeal. We chalked it up as drunk talk gone to far. Feelings were hurt, but not our friendship. This incident has really caused me to look at myself as a person and what drinking does to me. The results aren't too pretty. I don't drink much, but when I drink too much, bad things happend. I have to stop. At least for now. Thanks all. 🙂

May 9, 2007
10:52 am
Avatar
penny lane
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Santino...I can feel that your heart is aching for love ...sometimes it is important to "lean into" the feeling in an effort to help it pass and heal. If your drinking always leads to some mishap that needs to be forgiven than perhaps you need to assess that aspect of your life...or drinking to cover the pain should be avoided for a while.

Either way you sound like a sensitive and loving man capable of knowing and enjoying a full relationship ...it will happen again for you...be patient and move forward with your life.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
21
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111121
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38715
Posts: 714567
Newest Members:
lovingLaa, zokgassi, Wilthe, Marek, ssdchemical33, jack1palmer
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information