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I need your support about letting someone go
November 3, 2006
4:19 am
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Slient Jaguar
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Hello readers:

I need your support that I am feeling so sad tonight. I have a close friend that I know him since 2001. We have dated a few times in the past and we had good chermistry and have many things in common including our family background. Unforunately, he is married to someone else after when we stopped dating.

He got in touch with me and he asked me for my support for him through his sinking marriage recently. I went ahead and met him a few times. We clinked our feelings right away when we saw each other. He admitted to me that he made a huge mistake by letting me go back in 2001. He wished that he could spend more time with me then we may end up together for a long time, but we didn't make it happen before. I was out of a bad relationship back in 2001 before met him. He was having some problems with his ex-girlfriend, so we didn't committ a relationship. We deeply talked about our feelings. He still think of me all the times since 2001.

He asked me if we could keep our friendship leads to somewhere. I thought it was okay at first because I still have feelings for him. I liked him so much, but I made my decision that I shouldnt go further with him because he is married. I told him about my decision that I cannot see him anymore. However, he could contact me once when he is separated in the progress of divcoring his wife. He wasn't happy about my decision. He thought that I am making a biggest mistake by letting him go. I had to think for my safety and not being hurt in the near future. I told him that I would reconsider about dating him if he is officially separated. After when I told him about my decision, I went to bed. I couldn't sleep and I cried about it. I felt like I am letting someone go that I loved so much that I haven't told him yet. I did it in a hard way. I am worried about my future if I am losing a soulmate. I know that I couldn't go into any mess with married guys. We all know that married men are looking for free cake and eat it. He wasn't going to do that to me. But, I thought it was better if we didn't do anything yet.

What do you think? I hope I didn't made a huge mistake by letting him go. I cried so hard after told him about my decision.

November 3, 2006
6:08 am
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nvr2late
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Slient Jaguar
you should be commmended about your decision!!!
why get involved with an unavailable man????
it makes no sense.
you did the right thing...if he is serious about it, then he will leave his marriage, be we all know that there are 2 sides to every story!

if he does not make the decision to leave, you just saved yourself a TON of hurt!
it is better to find this out now, then later when you are in way deep!

and my opinion...women need to stick together! I would not want to be the demise of a marriage, they have to make that decision on their own!

women seem to be in a competition with other women, which seems to me to be wrong.
we need to stick together and NOT be the 'other woman'!
men need to get their heads out of their butts to figure out what they want!
if he gets what he wants from you, why would he leave his wife???

and as most of us know, friendships like these lead to more intimate things and before you know it, it is too hard to let go.

let him make the moves, make his decisions, and be VERY VERY careful that you are not just the rebound relationship...the safety net.
because doing that, will hurt you too.
if he cheats on his wife, he will cheat on you.

stand your ground and stay strong!

nvr

November 3, 2006
7:51 am
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Bramble
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Hi,nvr has spoken what i know to be the truth.4 months ago I letgo of a married man (I had known him for 25 years)He gave me the lot about how unhappy he was with his wife and I was put on a pedestal.I enjoyed being with him but always knew that I would never be with him as he would never leave her.
Get out and run NOW!! I cannot emphasise enough of how you will be hurt if you get in too deep.That relationship nearly wrecked my peace of mind and no man is worth it.Find a man who is available to you.He is having the best of both worlds...the security with his wife and the passion and excitement with you.Please tell him to "Get lost".If he really loves you he will leave his wife and initiate divorce proceedings and go to you.Don't hold your breath.B

November 3, 2006
10:14 am
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StronginHim77
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You absolutely, positively, definitely did the right thing. If he does not appreciate or understand your desire to handle this situation honorably and reasonably, then he has a VERY questionable "agenda."

Good for you. I am proud to meet someone with ethics, values and healthy boundaries.

- Ma Strong

November 3, 2006
1:24 pm
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taj64
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that is a very good decision in my opinion. This guy, he could always end up going back to his wife. And most likely he is trying to fill a void or not deal with his divorce if he indeeds really true of hearts going to go through with it. Of course he is telling you that you are making a mistake because that is his selfish need to keep you waiting for him just in case it doesn't work out for him. I know you ahve feelings for this guy and from the looks of it he does too, it is not saying he doesn't but honestly look deep down, do you really want to suffer deep hurt if and chances are high he could go back and then that would leave you pretty much devastated. Let him deal with his own home, sort out his life, get separated and divorce (yes final divorce) and then see what happens. If is meant to be it will happen then. But don't invite big hurt like this. Men will indeed tell the woman that he is unhappy in his marriage but if he is so unhappy why is he there and not out? WHY WHY WHY????? Because it is not really all that bad. Words mean nothing, actions do and actions are saying I am with her and you are there for me when I need you. Do you really want that? Do you want to be on the side, waiting? You could be waiting a very long time. Cry small tears for today but if you keep on with it you will have really big tears and more heartache later. It is sooooo not worth it.

November 3, 2006
1:41 pm
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sheila06
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Good for you for being adament about him seperating first, most women don't do that. I know you feel sad right now , but you have to look at it this way. If you and he were meant to be, then you two will see each other agian. But, next time you need to jump into his arms and tell him how much you love him. Fate gives us limited chances and if he's your soulmate, then he;ll be back. Be Strong and move forward.

November 3, 2006
2:22 pm
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artist 2
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He's already taken. No matter what HE says (which is really just leading you on) he is married! Totally off-limits. You have to move on.

Advice on how: get busy pursuing hobbies, joining clubs, doing selfcare.. entertain yourself. Make friends, go to church... get close to God.

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