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I need to nstop thinking I am too ugly to have someone love me.
April 10, 2006
7:44 pm
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eieio
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I think im ugly too
I would like to be married but no one yet

April 10, 2006
9:28 pm
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nice guy
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Don't give up. There is a guy out there for every woman and there are guys who look deep inside for their beauty.
Dave

April 10, 2006
9:46 pm
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Worried_Dad
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RDE2BHAPPY,

Well, if you worry too much about being "ugly" it will cramp your natural style and charm and make it hard for you to interact with guys. You might just want to let that one go and get out there and date.

We don't all look like TV stars. In fact, hardly anyone does, imagine that. I've always thought I was homely, but women seemed to like other things about me. Finally, I have decided that I am "average" looking, whatever the heck that means.

Ya want ugly? I'll tell you what is ugly. This freaking war we are in is ugly.

Hi startingover,

Your ex BF has a big lesson coming to him.

April 10, 2006
11:54 pm
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startingover
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Hi all

Seems that self-confidence is the key here; I hope to gain some back.

RDE: I would bet that you are a beautiful woman, and I'm sorry you (or anyone) feels ugly. There really aren't that many truly homely (or beautiful) people; most are average-looking. And we all know that average Jane or Joe whose personality just shines and makes them gorgeous, or that Barbie-beautiful woman who is so snooty or unkind she's awful to be around...

No one is unloveable. Kindness and sincerity go a long way (in my eyes, anyway).

WORRIED Dad - I suspect that you're right. I think it's a trait of an addict, though, like that first high from crack,as he described it...all the other use is an attempt to capture the first high...there will never be a woman young enough, rich enough, beuatiful enough, etc. Oh, well. This is not in my control, and I don't wish him more grief or sadness. Hope he finds what he needs, and hope I do, too.

We are all one step ahead of these losers, in that we are at least trying to improve ourselves.

April 11, 2006
12:38 am
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tre6381
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Be yourself, Be happy with yourself. If you cant be happy with yourself how do you expect anyone else to be? That is what I live by now. Accept me for what I am, or go on with your bad self! Just my thoughts!

April 11, 2006
8:28 am
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1lost1
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I agree with tre.

Don't worry about what someone else will see in you, look for what you see in you. Everyone has the possibilities to be beautiful.

Work on your self-esteem and see what happens. I myself am working at it. I had years of verbal abuse. I am searching for myself, each day gets better.

Start small look into the mirror and really look at yourself. Smile, laugh, it really makes a difference.

To all the beautiful people I see here everyday, make it a good day!

Smiling at you all...1L1

April 11, 2006
2:56 pm
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d.r.k.s.y.d.e.
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I saw your thread by accident,i was looking for someone to talk to myself,but you are right ,you should'nt have ever thought that to begin with. You said the magic word "love" that is done with the heart,not the eyes nor the face.If you have it in your heart to love,then that can only be rewarded with love in return.And when you find someone who you feel is worthy of your love,don't be afraid to love with all your heart,thats how you will know the love is real.You dont want someone to love you for your face anyway do you?.....did'nt think so. GOOD LUCK.

April 16, 2006
11:35 pm
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nice guy
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I just wanted to add one more thing. I have recently gone out with a woman who is a bigger woman but she has such an overwhelmingly good personality that I can't get enough of her. I am not attracted to her body but she has a very pretty face and eyes and her personality is awesome!!!
If I would have just looked at how she looks I would miss out on a wonderful woman. I am going to keep dating her and I know that this is a woman that I can't pass up. So if you think that you are ugly think twice about it because there are people out there who can prove you wrong.
Dave

April 17, 2006
8:09 am
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1lost1
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Very sweet nice guy!

There is hope out there for everyone to have a positive, fullfilling relationship.

There are no real ugly people only ugly attitudes! That is off the top of my head.

Just keep smiling!

May 28, 2006
10:23 pm
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RDE2BHAPPY
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May 28, 2006
10:39 pm
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RDE2BHAPPY
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It has been awhile and I do thank you all for you help. I have been trying. I've been dating through an online dating site. I have met a couple of nice guys. One that I really did like and have some things in common with. After a couple weeks I made plans to stay the night. I had my heart broken again! Until this point he started telling me he thought he was falling in love. After we slept together he changed...he tried not to act like it...but I could tell. He knew I had scars. He tried to be very nice and tell me I was beautiful...even told me i was a good lover...but...the change was there. He went from calling me every morning before work and every evening to nothing!!! He told me it was him. Yes, damn it is him!!!
As if that isn't enough I met another man. Very respectible and a friend of a co-worker. I decided to get the body thing out of the way before I got my heart involved. Same thing. This man was not a looker himself...average with a big gut. And he has the nerve to make me feel ugly!
I am very frustrated!!! I have so much to give and am the kind of woman a lot of men would love to have. The problem is under my clothes:(
I get very mad at myself because I am a very smart woman with a good job. I am an artist, I cook and I am very clean and classy. BUTTTTTTT
I have this thing hanging over my head. I feel one day like that is it I will live alone the rest of my life.
Then I wonder how I am going to do that...I crave and desire love and effection and yes...sex.
I am very lonely:(

May 28, 2006
10:39 pm
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Anonymous
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RDE, you there?

May 28, 2006
10:40 pm
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RDE2BHAPPY
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yep

May 28, 2006
10:51 pm
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Anonymous
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RDE, Beauty is only skin deep! What we look like on the outside doesn't matter! It's who you are on the INSIDE!!

And besides, looks can be deceiving!! My X fiance is gorgeous, IMO, BUT....he is still flawed! You just can't "see" it! And I wished I could have seen it, in the beginning. It works both ways with getting your heart broken. I was led by some false misconceptions of him, JUST because I couldn't visually SEE what he looked like on the inside. Unfortunately, I had already become attached to him, only to feel hurt when I decided to back out.

I think that looks should be just a form of identity, like our names. And I think you are absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! You do have a LOT to offer someone who actually DESERVES to receive it!! Those men you met were not the right ones! They sound a little bit vain, to me.

If you can find a way to be at peace with yourself, and work how you feel on the inside, then your inner beauty will start to shine on the outside, and people WILL notice that! People LOVE to be around happy, bubbly and cheerful people!!

(((RDE))) Love yourself FIRST, then the rest will follow your lead!!

Love,

Jen

May 28, 2006
10:56 pm
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1lost1
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I am sorry that he made you feel that way. I agree with ipw, it is who you are on the inside.

Look for the people that see that and don't let people like that man make you feel bad.

May 28, 2006
11:01 pm
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Anonymous
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Yeah, and one more thing. You DON'T want a man who would judge based on those types of arrogant thoughts!! YUCK!! Now THAT's ugly! YOU can do way better!!!

May 28, 2006
11:02 pm
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RDE2BHAPPY
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Thanks Jen,
That is part of my problem. I am a fun bubbly person and people like to be around me. People (men) love my smile.
Yes, I do have to work on "loving" my body...that is a tough one to accomplish.
Thanks again!

May 28, 2006
11:17 pm
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Anonymous
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You're welcome, RDE! What I meant is that once you love your INNER self, then the rest will follow! It is good, too, to find peace with the outer appearance. But the inner is more important!

And that is GREAT that you are bubbly and have an awesome smile! THAT is what is attractive!!! You GO Girl!!

Jen

May 28, 2006
11:18 pm
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Anonymous
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RDE -

my friend was in your shoes - she had breast cancer and had a mastectomy - and had the scars.....she looked good in clothes, but once the bra and falsies were off - it was another story.

she found guys who didn't care - and were only out to get laid, and she founds guys who did care and ran the other way....she found some that said it was okay, but then slowly faded away.....then she found a nice guy, who loved her no matter what, and actually educated himself on breast cancer, so he knew what she was dealing with.....they are together a year later.

soooooooo, be patient - and be honest with the guys....and the right one will love you, scars and all.

May 29, 2006
1:31 am
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StronginHim77
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Sometimes, I think that men truly want to be the hunters, the pursuers, and once they get what they want, (us in bed), they quickly tire of the game and move on to the next candidate. In short, they no longer want what they can easily have.

My advise? Hold out. Put a high price tag on yourself, instead of jumping into bed with them in just a few weeks. They make no commitment to you? Nothing? And you give them access to the deepest, most intimate parts of yourself? Then, of course, you are devastated when they get what they want and move on.

Raise the bar. Place a higher value on yourself. And you will land a higher, caliber man with the right motives.

May 29, 2006
8:00 am
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1lost1
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RDE, a great personality is often the best thing a person can have. The outer beauty fades quickly. Think positively about yourself and walk with your head high.

I am at the beginning of this cancer issue. I have had biopsies that have left some very ugly scars and it is scaring me.

(((RDE))) be well!

May 29, 2006
11:09 am
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readyforachange
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(((RDE)))...you are beautiful on the inside, and deserve someone who does not treat you solely based on what they see on the outside. I would hesitate to get into a physical relationship too quickly. You deserve to let someone see how many wonderful qualities you possess. If they are interested only in the physical aspect of a relationship so soon, then maybe it is not the right person for you. You have much to be proud of and much to offer someone...the right person will see you for who you are. Take care, and love yourself.

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