Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
I need to nstop thinking I am too ugly to have someone love me.
April 8, 2006
9:10 pm
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
April 8, 2006
9:13 pm
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Basically I know I am NOT ugly, but I can't stop all the years of self talk that has gotten me to this point.

April 8, 2006
9:13 pm
Avatar
free2choose
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HELLO RDE.

You wanna elaborate on that?

Free

April 8, 2006
9:18 pm
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Free,
I am a mid aged woman with scars and stretch marks and scagging skin. Men my age are looking for youger and flawless girls.

April 8, 2006
9:18 pm
Avatar
loverbee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

RDE-I know what you are going through I think. I had posted a thread a while back about the body issues that I was having/am having. I am beginning to get over it. My boyfriend has been like a little cheerleader for me in terms of getting back to my old weight before birth control which has helped and I am working out regularly. What are some things you can do to help your self image?

April 8, 2006
9:21 pm
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I pray and ask for guidence. I catch myself remembering things that have been said to me...and I can't stop tinking of them sometimes.

April 8, 2006
9:23 pm
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
April 8, 2006
9:30 pm
Avatar
free2choose
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I really have no advice about what you are going through. I have a horrible self image at times, and actually could also use some help in that department.

Luckily I have a partner who loves me, overweight and all.

I have a friend who is struggling with what you refer to in men. She just turned 29 and is not involved with anyone. She wants kids and a husband and see's her life rushing by.

I never know what to say to her, but it kills me to watch her hurt. I just wish that she could be happy with herself, by herself. But I understand the need just to have someone to share your life with. I would be lost without my partner. (WooHOO, that sounds co-dependent!)

I don't really know what to say, except that you are not alone. Sometimes, just that helps.

Sincerely,

Free2Choose

April 8, 2006
10:02 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

RD - Why not develop your spiritual life by purchasing some good books and read them so that you can grow spiritually. Happiness is work, we have to work for it.

One of the most beautiful people I met in my life were in fact UNbeautiful at all, but since they have kind heart, that in itself made them look pretty in my eyes as well as others.

Honestly speaking, it's the inner beauty that counts, the gentleness, love, respect and wisdom we have inside our mind and heart that make an individual good-looking and vice versa.

~All the best!~Ras~

April 8, 2006
10:19 pm
Avatar
caliseth
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

rde:
hi. i feel that i am not at my best, either. i have gained some extra pounds and i am having problems taking them off. however, i believe that to make someone interested in you is not all about looks, but about self esteem and being secure in yourself. you can try what ras is telling you, to get this outer good look you have to be balanced inside, so you can be secure and have a winner's attitude. you can do it, but don't keep with this poor attitude towards you. never say you are ugly, because you are already making yourself feel low. you are precious, if your inner is, you only have to make inner and outer be balanced, mantain attitude, you can!!

April 9, 2006
12:07 am
Avatar
nice guy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It you would like a guys point of view here it is.
I have had a very low opinion of myself and how I looked for years to women. I had problems with depression in my early teens and it followed me until today. I am 44 and still a virgin. I think that I am a good looking guy but my social skills have really lacked and I almost ran away from women for years. This year has been my building year where I just told myself that I am a good looking guy and I just have to get myself out there. I have made some mistakes but dusted myself off and am trying again. That is what you have to do. Try to look at what you like about yourself and build on that. People will see that you like yourself and they will like you to. I know how hard it is to be single. Just work on why you like yourself. That isn't hard to do. Everyone likes themself even if they don't realize it at the time. Look at me. I am a virgin at 44 and haven't given up. I am building my confidence every day that I am getting myself out there and when I stumble I just don't look back and keep moving forward.

I hope you feel a little better.

Dave

April 9, 2006
7:27 am
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you everyone.
Ras, good advice, I have recently started going to church with a friend and emersed myself in reading.
Dave, good for you! I hope I can take your lead. Right now all I see about myself that is beautiful are my eyes.
I try to tell myself the right person will look past my scars etc., but it is hard to lower the wall I have around me to let anyone in.
Obviously I do want to make things better or I wouldn't have come to this sight seeking help.
Thank you all!!

April 9, 2006
8:43 am
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well you know that saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Appreciate what you do have that is beautiful like your eyes and find other things that you like. Accept the things you cannot change. Nobody is perfect even those that you think are perfect are not. They do have things they wish they could change or love about themselves. I know I have gotten older and I don't look as sexy as I used to, I know this, so I try to accept for what is me for now, that this is where I am. And tomorrow I know I will look even less attractive and be happy with me at what I am at that moment. We all get older, some of us gain weight or lose hair, etc. It is what inside that makes us feel beautiful or bad about ourself.

April 9, 2006
8:52 am
Avatar
startingover
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi all

I used to feel pretty, and I felt better and thought I looked better at 40-something than at 25. I had lost weight, exercised more, and felt better, which I think showed somehow in the way I carried myself. Self-confidence, maybe acceptance, I'm not sure which, but it was a good feeling to have.

My ex-BF broke up with me for an 18 year-old. (He is 44, and I am 45.) I atually find this sick, and unnatural, but unfortunately, it has made me feel ugly. I don't feel comfortable or pretty anymore. I am working on that...trying to stay fit, and not gain weight, just trying to feel normal again, and not base my self-confidence on someone else's actions. Could that be what you are doing, RDE?

Now I feel like I will have to look for a man who is 60+, so I can be the younger woman again. It does seem to be what they desire.

SO

April 9, 2006
9:03 am
Avatar
RDE2BHAPPY
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

EXACTLY

April 9, 2006
9:47 am
Avatar
hopeful for change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I watch the show on tv called starting over and one of the girls on the show is going through alot with body image. I don't know if you have had a chance to see the show, but I love it.It always seems that you pick up things that make so much sense.

I think the media is so much to blame for alot of this. Even the most beautiful girl, seems to think she isn't unless she has a boob job. It's just sad. Like the definition of beauty is perfection, even half of the women we see on tv are fake, hours of make up and hours of hair stylist and airbrushing and lighting.

Has anyone seen that MTV video by pink called, I don't wanta be a stupid girl? Oh my do I love it. I have a 13 yr old girl, and when I saw that video she was watching it, I felt like finally someone is standing up for what real women are. For those of you who haven't seen it, its about plastic surgery and trying to keep up with this image of perfection, when really we are already perfect.

Anyway if the guys your age are looking for young girls then those aren't the men you want anyway. Just let your beauty shine, like someone said here some of the beautifulest people I know don't have the perfect exterior. Some of the perfect exterior people are some of the meanest people I know.

April 9, 2006
11:16 am
Avatar
penny lane
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good Morning all...I would love to put my two cents in here also...I am a woman in her 50's and single. I have been married once and had a couple of long term relationships after marriage. I too am suffering from body imagae issues due to my age not my spirit...but thru the tears of rejection and seeing how men do treat women over 50 versus under 30...I realize those poor men..they haven't experienced relationships with such a varied age swing..younger women have much more energy, sexual prowess and still have not found themselves...which I believe we do not until we reach 50 for most of us...these men are in for a "bumpy ride"...we should feel sorry for them...but the man who makes it thru all this and rediscovers what love truley is and the companionship of someone who has seen the same life events he has...will discover YOU..scars and all...but he will also have those scars both physically and mentally. So enjoy what life has given you and that you have been given special gifts and believe he will find you...because he will.

April 9, 2006
1:19 pm
Avatar
startingover
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi all

Pennylane, I enjoyed your post, however must disagree that younger women have more energy or sexual prowess..at least in my own case.

It's hard to feel sorry fot the purely visual creatures that some men are. If given the choice between a loving, compatible man in his 40's or 50's, versus a pretty boy in his 20's who is age-appropriate, I would always choose the older.

If I chose an 18 year-old male now (can't even say 'man'), he would be younger than my sons, YUK. I have to think of the fit bodies of some of my youngest sons' football-playing friends. I can honestly say I have never has a sexual stirring looking at an adolescent. I may think "he'll be a fine-looking man one day", but that's it. I will never understand the attraction.

I hope someone will accept me one day, because I do look allright, not perfect, but I wasn't perfect at 2 eaither, and I was very self-conscious.

I DO understand, RDE2BE. Any guys out there with an opinion? Can you shed some enlightenment? Do you really want a long-term relationship with someone half your age? What are you going to talk about? have in common?

April 9, 2006
1:25 pm
Avatar
penny lane
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Starting Over...maybe I should have said more "athletic"...but I do believe women as we age become more passionate with depth of life experience which includes pain of loss and the joy of momentary bliss...I have discovered over the past 10 years that some younger men can be attracted to older women because we know "where we are going, are much more grounded, already raised children, realize time is of the essence and dont play games"...what a wonderful place to be in...lets CELEBRATE this new life we have EARNED.

April 9, 2006
11:22 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Don't forget... no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere, somewhere, there is a man who is sick of putting up with her shit.

*laugh*

April 9, 2006
11:46 pm
Avatar
nice guy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have a fortune cookie saying for you that I just got at the chinese resturant today.

Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate.

If you start thinking that you are pretty you will be pretty to other people.

Dave

April 10, 2006
1:21 pm
Avatar
startingover
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi all

Hi Dave - what a nice post! I hope to feel pretty again. I read your previous post, you seem like a nice guy indeed, and I do believe that niceguys do NOT always finish last. Keep working on that confidence! (And I will do the same!)

SO

April 10, 2006
3:48 pm
Avatar
caraway
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

RDE2B,

Probably a bunch of losers that would think that you were too old, or not pretty enough. I will bet that you are a beautiful person inside and out!!

You keep looking for Prince Charming and he will be lucky to have you.

Cary

April 10, 2006
6:43 pm
Avatar
cannibaltribe
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Gingerleigh wrote:

Don't forget... no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere, somewhere, there is a man who is sick of putting up with her shit.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that!

April 10, 2006
7:43 pm
Avatar
eieio
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have seen ugly people happily married

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111019
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38569
Posts: 714309
Newest Members:
bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1, JasonMcGhee
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information