I really have no advice about what you are going through. I have a horrible self image at times, and actually could also use some help in that department.

Luckily I have a partner who loves me, overweight and all.

I have a friend who is struggling with what you refer to in men. She just turned 29 and is not involved with anyone. She wants kids and a husband and see's her life rushing by.

I never know what to say to her, but it kills me to watch her hurt. I just wish that she could be happy with herself, by herself. But I understand the need just to have someone to share your life with. I would be lost without my partner. (WooHOO, that sounds co-dependent!)

I don't really know what to say, except that you are not alone. Sometimes, just that helps.

Sincerely,

Free2Choose

rde:
hi. i feel that i am not at my best, either. i have gained some extra pounds and i am having problems taking them off. however, i believe that to make someone interested in you is not all about looks, but about self esteem and being secure in yourself. you can try what ras is telling you, to get this outer good look you have to be balanced inside, so you can be secure and have a winner's attitude. you can do it, but don't keep with this poor attitude towards you. never say you are ugly, because you are already making yourself feel low. you are precious, if your inner is, you only have to make inner and outer be balanced, mantain attitude, you can!!

Hi all

I used to feel pretty, and I felt better and thought I looked better at 40-something than at 25. I had lost weight, exercised more, and felt better, which I think showed somehow in the way I carried myself. Self-confidence, maybe acceptance, I'm not sure which, but it was a good feeling to have.

My ex-BF broke up with me for an 18 year-old. (He is 44, and I am 45.) I atually find this sick, and unnatural, but unfortunately, it has made me feel ugly. I don't feel comfortable or pretty anymore. I am working on that...trying to stay fit, and not gain weight, just trying to feel normal again, and not base my self-confidence on someone else's actions. Could that be what you are doing, RDE?

Now I feel like I will have to look for a man who is 60+, so I can be the younger woman again. It does seem to be what they desire.

SO

I watch the show on tv called starting over and one of the girls on the show is going through alot with body image. I don't know if you have had a chance to see the show, but I love it.It always seems that you pick up things that make so much sense.

I think the media is so much to blame for alot of this. Even the most beautiful girl, seems to think she isn't unless she has a boob job. It's just sad. Like the definition of beauty is perfection, even half of the women we see on tv are fake, hours of make up and hours of hair stylist and airbrushing and lighting.

Has anyone seen that MTV video by pink called, I don't wanta be a stupid girl? Oh my do I love it. I have a 13 yr old girl, and when I saw that video she was watching it, I felt like finally someone is standing up for what real women are. For those of you who haven't seen it, its about plastic surgery and trying to keep up with this image of perfection, when really we are already perfect.

Anyway if the guys your age are looking for young girls then those aren't the men you want anyway. Just let your beauty shine, like someone said here some of the beautifulest people I know don't have the perfect exterior. Some of the perfect exterior people are some of the meanest people I know.

Hi all

Pennylane, I enjoyed your post, however must disagree that younger women have more energy or sexual prowess..at least in my own case.

It's hard to feel sorry fot the purely visual creatures that some men are. If given the choice between a loving, compatible man in his 40's or 50's, versus a pretty boy in his 20's who is age-appropriate, I would always choose the older.

If I chose an 18 year-old male now (can't even say 'man'), he would be younger than my sons, YUK. I have to think of the fit bodies of some of my youngest sons' football-playing friends. I can honestly say I have never has a sexual stirring looking at an adolescent. I may think "he'll be a fine-looking man one day", but that's it. I will never understand the attraction.

I hope someone will accept me one day, because I do look allright, not perfect, but I wasn't perfect at 2 eaither, and I was very self-conscious.

I DO understand, RDE2BE. Any guys out there with an opinion? Can you shed some enlightenment? Do you really want a long-term relationship with someone half your age? What are you going to talk about? have in common?

Don't forget... no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere, somewhere, there is a man who is sick of putting up with her shit.

*laugh*

Hi all

Hi Dave - what a nice post! I hope to feel pretty again. I read your previous post, you seem like a nice guy indeed, and I do believe that niceguys do NOT always finish last. Keep working on that confidence! (And I will do the same!)

SO

Gingerleigh wrote:

Don't forget... no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere, somewhere, there is a man who is sick of putting up with her shit.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that!