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I need to change and control my actions, but i have no idea how
February 11, 2007
11:19 pm
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Keepinon15
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So I have had a drinking problem since a young age and have gone back and forth with it. Anyways last night it was a birthday dinner for myself and we had a plan to go back and party at a friend of mines but then we couldnt so we had to go somewhere else and I didn't want to and was super frustrated and irritated. Then my girlfriend was mad and wanted to leave and what not but in my anger I started to drink and drank to much.

Then I began being stupid and treating her horrible. Then we left and in the car I broke down. I was crying and screaming and I proceeded to try and jump out of the moving car multiple times. Then i looked at her and she was crying and then i realized what I was doing, I put my seat belt on and wiped the tears from her face and told her I was sorry and I was done. As i think back on it today it doesnt feel like it was me in that situation, I do not act like that and am very aware of her feelings. This scares me, I'm sure from the story you don't get my personality but I can assure you it is nothing like that.

I have been struggling lately with a lot of stress and frustrations and have cut myself. I am not this person and want to get rid of it. At the same time I can carry out my life as me and be happy in my normal life but i secretly struggle. Help....please?

Thanks

February 11, 2007
11:22 pm
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mj
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Congratulations on your bravery to reach out and ask for help! I highly recommend AA as a support group to help you stop drinking and learn how to live life. You are not alone. Many people build a false self in order to survive. Learning how to be honest with oneself is a huge step.

February 11, 2007
11:27 pm
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Keepinon15
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🙂 thanks, and me and my Girlfriend have discussed counceling or AA but the way my life is I don't have time...At all i do so many things which is the majority of my stress. But since many of my friends drink I want to be able to do it for fun and safely and be able to be the person my baby loves while I do it and not hurt her. But thanks i have decided to stay sober until I can learn to take care of this.

February 11, 2007
11:32 pm
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atalose
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keepinon15,

Have you though about going to talk with a therapist? It sounds like you need to learn healthier coping skills. It's as if when your stressed, frustrated or angry you self destruct and turn it all inward against yourself. I'm sure your not the person who hurts his girlfriend or scares her with attempting to jump out of a moving car, but the truth is, you became that person and could again. You've won half the battle by acknowledging you don't want to be that person, now it's just a matter of learning different skills to cope that are not so self destructive. A counselor can help you find better ways.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

February 11, 2007
11:42 pm
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Keepinon15
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I agree and I have had problems before that we have discussed. I do not necessarily know where to look for a therapist or counselor who can help me with this. And also I do not have the time, at all. To add to that I couldn't let anyone know I was seeing someone about it except my Girlfriend. These difficult circumstances hold me back from defeating this. I don't know if there are altetnates? Or some way to search things in my area? it would have to be completely anonymous and couldn't jepoardize my current working situations. Any suggestions to that? :/

February 11, 2007
11:53 pm
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atalose
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You can search the internet for counselors in your area. Often you can schedule appointments during lunch.
The difficult circumstances aren't holding you back, you are holding you back. What is your priority? If it's not to yourself right now, then it can't be to your girlfriend or your future.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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