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I need to apologize
November 10, 2004
1:08 am
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SassyAlex
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September 29, 2010
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I totally know where you're coming from!! It was just yesterday that I was on here bashing my head against the wall for calling the ex, today I feel so much better. And being honest and posting on here helped me feel better. See, I feel terrible telling my friends and family all the ups and downs of what I am going through, they've been SO supportive, but I can tell they've all had it. Sometimes I feel that they don't understand, but they just want what's best for me. But here I can tell you guys understand exactly where I'm coming from. I feel terrible because I talked to my best friend last night and didn't tell her I called the ex. She and I keep NOTHING from each other, but she hates him for all of the nasty things he's done to me. She won't judge me, she's an awesome friend, but I just feel so damn guilty when I tell her how I'm still involved with him on some level. She doesn't understand why I even care, but I do. I wish I could handle the situation perfectly, but I'm starting to realize that no one can handle difficult situations perfectly 100% of the time.

So, keep posting, and know we are here!

November 10, 2004
1:23 am
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Zinnie
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Aces,

Here is an idea...

Why don't you accept the fact that you really deep down want to be with Mr. Jack and he wants to be with you. Then, work on it from there - perhaps the approach is skewered, instead of trying to always break off the relationship - since you can't - just don't.

Maybe try approaching it by looking at all the different ways you can further the relationship and be together.

Maybe by doing that, you can find happiness with Mr. Jack. Free said something on another thread - and now I see how she was meaning it - so maybe by changing the make up of the thought process - in other words "how to break up with him, or be done with it" why not "how to make this work."

November 10, 2004
7:28 am
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mamacinnamon
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September 27, 2010
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mama - we are not married, just dating, not even living together. We just seem to have this knack to piss eachother off, to hurt eachother, and to then be more hurt when we try to leave or break it off. I sometimes wish I was stronger than this. (your quote).

You are stronger than this. You can do what you set your mind to.

I fully agree w/ Zinnie. Why not figure out "how to make this work"

There are lots of tools to help you learn coping and getting along and fair fighting skills. You can get couples counseling; self-help books; groups to attend.

If you and Mr. Jack want to make it work and are willing to put as much energy into making it work as you put into trying to break it off. Ya might just have a winning combination there.

November 10, 2004
7:34 am
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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you're ok....everyone does this. I do it, as you probably very well know, i just don't write about it every time I talk to my ex again, and we get along OK and he goes with me to my midwife appointment, then treats me like pure sh*t again, in front of the midwife no less.....I know she probably thinks I am in an abusive relationship.

It's banging your head against a brick wall, but sometimes we keep doing it until something snaps inside ourselves.

November 10, 2004
10:15 am
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Anonymous
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Zinnie et al. Thank you again. And I do agree. I think that we use "I'm done" so many times, and now the words carry very little meaning. Things have improved greatly since I have been putting my foot down so to speak. We have also both realized that we carried very little respect for eachother, (on both ends) since the beginning. I allowed certain behavior and didn't get upset and then I change my way and all the sudden it isn't acceptable. I spoke with him last night and once again he started in on how I must have another guy, and so I simply said to him, not even angry, but simply said, this is the main point why we argue, we would get along fine if you could curb your tounge and not accuse me of things I have not done. I hung up with him and shock of all shocks he called back and apologized for starting with me. That has never happened before. So while it may not be cinderella it is a start. I think we both know that we do care for eachother. He has anger problems, as do I, but I just chose to handle mine differently. Maybe if he had a great place like this to go to, he would handle things better, but alas this is MY HAVEN and he will never know. I have realized on this journey that it isn't what he does but what I allowe him to do. So when I do not like what he is saying or doing I am going to voice it, not argue with him, and let him sit with it until he pulls his head from his ass. : )

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