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i need support - robbie2007
June 4, 2007
2:57 pm
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robbie2007
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i desperately need clothes. so maybe a pair of k-mart special shorts lol could be reward for week 1.

June 4, 2007
2:58 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie,

one of the things I learned on my journey here is that we often don't "like" ourselves enough to take care of ourselves properly.

So, we don't take care of our bodies by exercising cuz we don't think we are worth it.

And we don't treat ourselves to things like pedicures and such, cuz again, we think "I'm not worth it".

Or perhaps you are like me and think "I'm not a girl girl, I don't do manicures, it's a waste".

When the reality is, I don't feel I deserve spending that kind of money on me for something as "frivolous" as my nails.

But I would love getting them done.

Anyway, by exercising and rewarding ourselves, we are retraining ourselves to think better of ourselves.

It's a great process.

And I find I feel better about the world when I take better care of my body and environment too.

June 4, 2007
3:08 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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I wish I lived close or could exchange emails.

Not that I have shorts, but I have sooooo many clothes that I am going to be getting rid of.

I figure that I will be "expanding" now thru January. then it will be a while before I start dropping much weight.

And my clothes I wear now are so tattered, that they aren't worth keeping in storage...so I will junk them.

But I also have closets full of smaller sizes too...and it is going to be a LONG while before I shrink that small...so finally getting rid of them.

In the end, I may donate them to a woman's domestic abuse shelter.

When you buy your shorts - even if it costs a couple dollars more...make sure you buy something that fits and makes you feel good when you wear them...so many times I buy clothes and feel so ugly in them...and it makes me feel worse.

I found the BEST place to buy clothes in my size was at Fashion Bug and I signed up to their mailings and get coupons every week. Their sales are fabulous and their clothing really does last and stand up to my "abuse"....and costs as little as Kmart or Walmart. I swear by them...and their fit is great.

I don't usually wear capris because I look dumpy in them, but found some adorable ones that fit nicely and don't leave me looking like I have trunks for legs...and they were on sale and I bought a few mix and match tops...with the sale, I got six tops and three pants for $100.00!!!

June 4, 2007
3:11 pm
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robbie2007
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well, i'm not a girly girl...so manicure and hair accessories are just not me.

for me - i dont think its that i feel as tho i dont deserve things - its just that im very limited on money, so whenever i spend it, i always think practical and useful - something i need, rather than something i want. ya know?

i mean, i do occassionally buy the unnescessary things - usually candles or something for the house...but not too often.

June 4, 2007
3:17 pm
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robbie2007
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wow - that is a deal. i will have to check out the fashion bug here. occassionally i will find something good at the consignment shop too so will have to check that out.

right now, all my clothes are tight, and i feel so uncomfortable and ugly in them. out of all the clothes i own, i only have a few left that actually fit me, so thats all i wear and i feel so gross wearing the same stuff all the time.

June 4, 2007
3:21 pm
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robbie2007
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i'm going to sign off for today.

thanks everyone who talked and supported me today.

love, robbie

June 5, 2007
8:41 am
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robbie2007
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hey 🙁

June 5, 2007
8:49 am
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tooscared
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Good morning robbie. What is the sad face for? Sounds like things went better yesterday with your brother and getting some really good suggestions from other posters.

Love, TS

June 5, 2007
8:59 am
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robbie2007
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ya...but he's really stressed and grouchy this morning and throwing stuff at me left and right. i mean before i even walked from the door to my desk he was talking business.

but more so - i wish i could tell a little white lie and say i did my 10 minutes on the treadmill last night -but i didnt. i couldnt even manage that. 🙁

theres some other things too..with my family.

June 5, 2007
9:02 am
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tooscared
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Take one day at a time robbie and don't beat yourself up for not exercising. My hubby and I backed out on the gym last night too. We are definitely going tonight though, so maybe be determined to do the treadmill tonight. It is ok to have times when we just need to rest.

As far as your brother goes, just remember that you didn't cause his bad mood and you can't fix it. Try to do your best and get done what you can without taking on his attitude. It is hard when you are around him though and I understand that.

June 5, 2007
9:04 am
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robbie2007
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"just remember that you didn't cause his bad mood and you can't fix it."

hey - thats an excellent thought.

thanks TS

June 5, 2007
9:09 am
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tooscared
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That is what I have learned with my hubby when he is grouchy to me and sharp. I just emotionally back away from him and try to remember that his bad mood or whatever is not about me. Doesn't make it easy, but it helps me feel better inside.

June 5, 2007
9:14 am
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robbie2007
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last week, my mom came in to help me with my project and my brother told us to go in the other room that our talking bothered him.

it really pissed me off - becuz how does he think i feel when im trying to work and he and my father or he and whoever are talking?

so we had to move the whole big table and all the folders n stuff in the other room.

when we came out - i was asked to leave for a half hour.

i wondered why - and if i had done something wrong.

i found out this weekend - that when i left my brother broke down. it is so unlike him. things just are going the way he visioned. mainly becuz we had to take back a failing business and the lawyers are fighting and its dragging on for months. plus the new business - isnt what he had hoped. so, i understand what he is going thru. and i feel bad for him. but its not my fault.

June 5, 2007
9:21 am
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tooscared
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I'm glad you were able to learn what is going on with your brother and realize that what is going on with him has nothing to do with your performance or anything you have done, but all about the stress of the business. It is good that you can be supportive of him.

June 5, 2007
9:22 am
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tooscared
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Got to go for now, but I am glad you know more about what is going on with your family. Hang in there robbie. Talk to you later.

June 5, 2007
9:44 am
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risingfromtheashes
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good morning robbie.

yeah, tooscared really had good advice.

If you walked in and brother had a bad mood already, it really isn't about you....obviously he is under and incredible amount of stress and seems like he is at the breaking point.

None of that is your problem or something you can fix.

Continue to do your job the best you can do. If you anything extra left to give, ask what else you can do to help. He may grumble "nothing"...or he may take you up on it. Either way, just do the best you can.

Also remember - when we worry that something is "about us", it usually isn't. I think it's a good thing that your brother has someone to confide in and can talk to mom about things. Maybe he didn't confide in you cuz he didn't want to scare you about the future of the business or your job? Or maybe he didn't want to look weak in front of you. As you can see, even the "strongest" or smartest people can have their limits...they aren't all perfect. Remember this when you are feeling "less than" him...cuz you aren't.

As far as the clothing...I know how that feels. When I got pregnant, I got new clothes to get me thru summer...boss was thrilled cuz the clothes I was wearing looked so ratty and it was the same outfits week after week. Does your company have company shirts? Maybe you can get your brother to get some for you and then all you have to worry about it pants. Otherwise, check out fashion bug....get on their mailing list...cuz I get $10 off coupons every week and sale coupons every month. Their "priced right" prices are excellent and they hold up well....much better than kmart specials.

Once again, try to remember your brother's bad mood is not your doing, or something to fix. steer clear, do your job and try not to be "infected" by his mood...try to find an upbeat mood...listen to some music or something...find something to be thankful for today...to keep you in an up mood.

Also, perhaps when he starts talking loud, you could ask politely if he could go in another room, politely explain that you are being distracted. After all, it's a business and you shouldn't feel bad for trying to do your job well and if they are keeping you from that...well, they need to understand.

June 5, 2007
10:00 am
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robbie2007
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wow - thank you rising. i'm so glad i came back to this site. it sure helps!

company shirts - would be great but its just me and my brother 2 mechanics and 2 maintenance guys.

there really is no other room for him to go in. we are in 1 big room and he has morning business discussions every day and then people come in frequently. or he's on the phone.

the room that me and my mother were in was really a storage room. and ...i have a feeling our talking didnt really bother him - i think he wanted to tell my father how bad things were without me hearing (it is my father he confided in) and when me and my mother were done - he wasnt, so he asked me to leave. my father must have told my mother - and my mother told me about my brothers break down.

anyway - i am feeling better now. and i think im going to pop in a cd. and listen to some inspiring music. 🙂

June 5, 2007
10:07 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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good for you....glad you came back!

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