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i need support - robbie2007
June 1, 2007
8:03 am
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robbie2007
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im feeling really depressed about my job.

i feel really stupid. i dont understand things - like they dont click right away, or they just dont. and my brother is very very smart - and what is easy for him is very difficult for me. i feel like such a loser.

then i think about all the things i do for him, like going to the bank at least once a week if not more, going many times to get key copies, running to staples for supplies, always coming to work with a good attitude whether im happy or not. on top of all the bookkeeping tasks for mostly 2 (but including 4 different companies).

June 1, 2007
11:01 am
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risingfromtheashes
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Robbie...it is emotional suicide to compare yourself to ANYONE.

It doesn't matter how much better your brother is at anything...if you do your best, that's all anyone can ask.

You do alot for your brother...be proud of what you CAN do.

June 1, 2007
11:09 am
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mamacinnamon
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hey robbie:

been wondering about you.

ok, my typing atrocious today, but on my hubby's laptop. fingers just cannot fly on these.

I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I'm in GTexas till Sunday, but I did get the book and am ready to work thru it w/ you whenever you want.

June 1, 2007
12:24 pm
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loverbee
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Robbie, good to see you back. Comparing yourself to your brother is so pointless. Take it from someone who knows. I used to do that with my older sis. She always got the better grades and all that but I realized that those things that I don't understand that she does are only some things. And the things that I understand, much of the time she doesn't. Because we all have different areas of expertise. So be aware of those things that you ARE good at and focus on those.

June 1, 2007
12:46 pm
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fantas
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Robbie...Everyone here is right. Comparing yourself to others is a heartache waiting to happen. Can you take a moment and really compliment yourself for all those things you listed for yourself and feel really happy at this moment? It wasted a lot of energy for a runner to look back at how far his opponents are. Use that energy to propek yourself forward. By the way, have you always felt this way about your brother? I suggest writing a gratitude list of all the things you are able to do each time you start to compare yourself with your brother. Doing this really helped me see myself for what I really I am. It was hard to deny my capacity when I wrote it on paper. All the best to you!

June 1, 2007
1:00 pm
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robbie2007
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i forgot to mention my brother is my boss. he gets very irritated when i dont understand stuff that makes perfect sense to him.

MamaC - Thank you so much for getting the book. im going to look at it this weekend, write down some stuff and will post on monday.

June 1, 2007
1:09 pm
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robbie2007
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no - i havnt always felt this way. i have always known that my brother is highly intelligent, but i have never worked directly for him.

when he gives me a direction - at the time i think i understand, but somewhere along the way i misinterpret, or get mixed up or confused. sometimes i dont even know what questions to ask so that i DO understand.

im supposed to be doing a project - he and my brother co-own some businesses, and then they tri-own some. i have to go back in time and gather up information that was done in different programs by people who are no longer here and tell him how much one of the person owes. but he doesnt tell me HOW to do this - and doesnt have the time or patience to.

its like telling me to go in a cave with no light and saying there are 5 rooms. some have information, some dont. find your way and when you come out i want an answer.

June 1, 2007
1:27 pm
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fantas
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Robbie, That has to be frustrating. I was wondering if you can tell him that he needs to be a little more specific with you about what he needs done. A boss should do that regardless of whether you are a relative or not. It's great that you acknowledge your brother's intelligence but don't let it intimidate you. Most of my sibling are super smart, I am too but I always felt like I didn't measure up. One of my sisters always told me how smart she was and went on and on about herself. Even if she is very smart academically, she has no people or social skills. I always wanted to be a smart as she is but now I like myself just like I am. Chances are your brother has certain gifts at qualities that he excells at you have yours one of which happens to be patience. Hang in there.

June 1, 2007
1:28 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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Robbie,

This can be frustrating. And my guess is that your brother is SUPER busy and doesn't stop to think that someone wouldn't know how to do this.

Also, your brother probably believes you ARE capable of doing this - he has faith in you.

I understand about having to go back and reconcile accounts that are wicked old.

In one of my jobs, my boss was CONSTANTLY asking me to reconcile a customer account. And it wasn't that I could not do it. BUT...like you said, I had no idea where to get the right info. Her records were so poor, her OWN bookkeeping skills were horrendous, and her notes were insufficient.

When I reconciled one account, I found that the customer owed $10,000 more than she was billing him...she was happy, he was not. So, then from that point forward, I had to keep close eye on the account. And I did. But at the end, he contested the charges and made us document everything. And EVEN THO I had it all accounted for, she STILL rode my ass about it. Cuz she didn't like that I found mistakes in HER system.

Then there was another customer that owed us money...my boss SWORE she owed us $8,000 but had nothing to show for it. She kept telling me to get the records out and document it, but I couldn't...I just couldn't find the records. But for some reason it was MY FAULT....she SWORE she had the records "somewhere".

But the reality was, her record keeping was poor, inaccurate and full of mistakes. No wonder they were losing money and customers.

All I can say is do the best you can. And when you run into a snag, ask questions and don't take your brothers frustration personally.

You aren't stupid - or he wouldn't have hired you.

Do the best you can and don't kick yourself for what you don't know. It's a learning process and ANYONE would face the same difficulties...reconciling accounts with records from previous employees is NEVEr easy...everyone has their own system and it rarely makes sense to someone else.

June 1, 2007
1:37 pm
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robbie2007
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it has to do with cars that are co-owned or not.

i have to figure out how much money was put into each car (were talking about 30 cars).

some of it was body work, some mechanical, some materials (from several vendors).

some of the information was done in "Lotus Notes" and when that guy left, it was supposed to be picked up in quickbooks.

then go back through check registers and see what this guy paid. but he made a lot of payments - some that dont have to do with the car business but the other business (realty). then i have to figure out which were for cars - and were they for the purchase of a car, for work done on a car or both....

some vehicles are not co-owned, but co-billed. its making me crazy.

but thank you everyone for your support. it has helped some.

June 1, 2007
1:47 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie.

I consider myself an intelligent person.

and I know enough about bookkeeping to understand what you have to do.

and given the situation - EVEN I am going crazy reading all you have to do.

that is INSANE. I can only imagine your frustration.

and i don't even KNOW what lotus notes ARE!

All I can say is take it bit by bit, one piece at a time.

Get some kind of system set up, and come up with some kind of worksheet to record everything.

That is how I ended up reconciling everything.

I started from scratch and made up an excel spreadsheet documenting all the information, then broke it down from there.

I wish you luck...you have a tough project and you have every right to feel frustrated.

Also understand that as you go along, it will get easier, once you get used to looking at the records...so by the end of this, you will have great skills and be pretty proficient in this sort of thing.

I wish you the best.

chin up, the weekend is upon us!

June 1, 2007
1:57 pm
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robbie2007
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thank you rising - and everyone!

and have a great weekend!

Love, Robbie

June 4, 2007
11:43 am
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robbie2007
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things are going better...my brother started working "with" me instead of just throwing everything at me. and he hasnt been too grouchy - so im feelings a lot better.

the only thing im worried about is that i heard him discussing getting rid of internet becuz we cant afford it. not sure when this will or wont happen, but i only post from work. i would sure hate to lose my support. are we able to log on from a library?

June 4, 2007
11:55 am
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robbie2007
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as far as my diet - i have only made small changes. ok - 1 small change. i quit drinking soda.

i have flavored seltzer water which im drinking by itself or diluting gatorade.

i need to take this in small steps. I have a treadmill - so can someone help motivate me to use it?

maybe some kind of challenge for me?

June 4, 2007
12:00 pm
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mj
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Hi Robbie,

Glad things at work are going better for you. Most libraries have internet access if you need that option. Try calling your local library and asking if it does!

The website Self has a challenge going for staying or getting healthy. Check it out!

June 4, 2007
12:10 pm
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robbie2007
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HEY MJ - was wondering where you been. good to see you. 🙂

yes - i prolly should had pulled up my other thread where i asked ...how shall i say - to work on a more individual basis as so many participants was too overwhelming for me.

loverbee and rising had been doing that for me, but anyone is welcome to make a challenge suggestion to me.

hope you are well MJ. im ok. struggling a bit, but ok.

June 4, 2007
12:16 pm
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robbie2007
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oh ya, about the library - i know they have internet - but can we log on with our nickname and everything from a different computer?

June 4, 2007
12:21 pm
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mj
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Never done the library internet so I can't answer that. You could write SC and ask or just try it before you lose your internet at work. I know when I am traveling, I log on from my children's computer. They don't know about the site so I don't think it would be a problem.

The self.com site has a challenge that is self motivated. You don't have to interact with only yourself. It is your challenge and it keeps you accountable by logging on what you eat and gives lots of ideas for exercise and burning calories. I found it very helpful.

Take Care!

June 4, 2007
12:40 pm
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loverbee
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Good for you robbie to quit drinking soda. Did that about a year ago and I lost a ton of weight. I think that that is a huge first step. Go get em robbie!!!

June 4, 2007
12:52 pm
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robbie2007
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thanks loverbee. the next thing i want to try is the treadmill. but i just cant get motivated to do it. got any motivating/inspiring words? ...(a challenge for the week?)

June 4, 2007
12:59 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie,

yes, you can use the library computer...as someone how to clear history out when you are done, so people using after you can't see what sites you accessed.

First of all - HOORAY for you for cutting out soda...you call it a small step, I call it HUGE...you have NO idea how bad soda is for you!

Now, for the treadmill - how about committing to use it 10 minutes a day on the even (or odd) calendar days.

That makes it every other day.

And ten minutes is a great starting point.

After a week, up it by two more minutes...or however more you think you can do.

Get some invigorating music to help you fill the "silence" and inspire you.

Or, take the dog for a ten minute "power walk".

Do you think you can do that?

June 4, 2007
1:07 pm
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robbie2007
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you know what....i'm not sure i can do it- but i will try. thank you for giving me a starting point. i will keep you posted.

i think i will do even days - starting today.

June 4, 2007
1:23 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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hey robbie - sometimes we don't think we can do it until we try.

Here's an idea - give yourself an incentive...preferably a low cost one and not food related....or if it's food related, something low calorie.

Like - if you do a week, you will give yourself an hour to soak in the bathtub with candles, music and smelly bath stuff (if that's something you like). Or get a manicure or pedicure. Or a new pair of walking shoes, a new workout outfit, a new hair accessory or something, a bouquet of flowers, a new cd to listen to, a new DVD, a new book.

Then, tell yourself you need to do TWO weeks before getting the reward...then three...eventually, the exercise will BE the reward cuz you feel better.

BUT - understand that with Fibro - if you jump too fast into something - your body will hate you for it and rebel.

So, take it slow...ten minutes at an easy pace...just to get into the "habit". After a few weeks, worry about upping your speed or time.

I know that when I get all hyped up, I get going too fast and then it takes me weeks to recover and then I am discouraged and afraid to try again.

Don't be afraid to start slow and gentle...and make it about the commitment more than the progress.

Good luck to you!

June 4, 2007
1:24 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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one more thing - I am going to think about how to do it...but if I can find a way to keep my treadmill with me...I will join you on your quest.

I am moving and not sure where treadmill will fit.

June 4, 2007
2:48 pm
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robbie2007
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love your ideas! that would be so excellent if you could keep your treadmill.

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