Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
I need support now!!!!
September 27, 2003
8:13 pm
Avatar
me3amigos
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My husband has just left for coffee and I know he's gone out drinking again cause he didn't take the car. We had a big fight two weeks ago about his drinking and he hasn't gone out drinking since then but I think tonight it's going to happen again. I really don't think he cares how his behavior effects me. The last time he went out drinking he didn't come home til 4:00 in the morning. He went to a party after the bar where a couple of women just happen to be there with the guys. One in particular works at a restaurant near by where my husband frequents. She happened to be at the party. I know he is attracted to here but said nothing has ever happened but I don't trust him anymore and I am so angry that he is probably at that same restaurant where she is and he will probably go out to the bar again and I bet she will be there again. She's one of the woman that is looking for a free ride. Like i'm going to move out of my home and give her my keys. I despise her and my husband for being disrespectful. I think I'm going crazy. I'm so hurt and I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like following him around to see if he is cheating on me. He says he hasn't, my friends don't believe he would but I don't know anymore. I am so insecure now that I doubt everything. I can't trust anymore. Please someone, I need some advice.

September 27, 2003
8:26 pm
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't have any suggestions for you for tonight unfortunately. But I would see a counselor soon. Do you want your marriage to continue? Is it time to see a lawyer too?

I know the anguish you are feeling. Just know that it will be history one day. It WILL pass. You will survive.

Al-Anon is a great place to start. There are lots of meetings, probably one every night at different places close to you. It might be your best bet.

One of the best things they teach is detachment. This is where you let the alcoholic face the consequences of his actions and NOT rescue him.

You can let it be know, as if he doesn't know, that you will not tolerate him going out and partying on his own. You will have to decide what threat you are willing to STICK TO. You can say....or else I'll:

see a counselor and get advice
see a lawyer
move out
kick you out

But if you make idle threats that you don't follow through on, he will just make you feel worse. Don't threaten anything you don't really want to do.

Get some help at Al-Anon right away. Go tomorrow.

September 27, 2003
8:39 pm
Avatar
me3amigos
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for responding unhappy camper. I'm just so tired and emotionally exhausted. My heart aches. I feel week when he's around and edgy too. I just can't relax anymore. When he's not drinking, he's fine but I just can't get over the last drinking episode. I don't know if I'm prepared to leave yet. And I understand if I make the threat to leave that I have to stick by my decision and I know that I'm not strong enough. I hate feeling this way. I hate that i'm not strong enough to take care of me. Thanks for your words.

September 27, 2003
9:22 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I personally would move out of my home and give her my keys. They sound like a good match.

All you can gain with therapy / support groups is that you can't do anything to prevent him from being who he is right now at the stage he is on his path. And to love yourself enough to leave.

September 28, 2003
12:00 am
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just want you to know that I understand where you are at. We have control only over ourselves. Work on making things right for you. You will find your answers and I am here to listen.

September 28, 2003
11:47 am
Avatar
unhappy camper
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You don't want to let him continue to have the power to hurt and crush your spirit, do you? Of course not!

Keep writing your feelings here. Pour them out no matter what they are. Let it all out...

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111019
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38569
Posts: 714309
Newest Members:
bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1, JasonMcGhee
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information