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I need some direction??!!
January 16, 2000
12:45 am
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jo
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Coping with my mothers recent death I am finding this terrible empty feeling and need for direction. When a parent passes away the child whatever age they may be is left with many questions or maybe the ultimate question, "What do I do now??" Everyday I ask this and everyday I have the same response....nothing. My husband trying so hard to help me can't tell me what I should do. So as a result I am left confused, distant and without direction. I am 29 years old have 3 children and want to go back to school??? To me my days of reading, writing, and arithmatic are over but have settled for a less stressful trade in which I can accomplish in 12 weeks and hopefully be self employed thereafter. I feel ridiculous at times and I am afraid of failure as I have in my past experience with furthering my education. But feel that I must do justice to my mothers inheritance and so something that would make her proud of me and not just squander it on meaningless things that will eventually be disposed of. I suppose what I really want is to hear her voice tell me that she thinks everything is ok and to go for it and to make something of myself and not depend on a man to support me. Sometimes I can still hear her say those strong words of wisdom she always had and other times I am begging for just a whisper of advise. I am amazed at women today who have the courage to stand on their own two feet and make careers and have families. That's what she did and now I am here like a bird on the nest waiting to fly away but am affraid of falling. Should I stay should I go do I need more counseling??? This is my dilema.
Thanks for listening,
Jo

January 16, 2000
11:28 am
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KTHOMAS
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Jo...

Your story touched me...

Your mother is with you...sometimes it is hard to hear or feel her...but if she could I believe she would tell you to do whatever it is that will makes YOU happy...she would want you to be doing these things for you...not her. It is very scary to leave the nest and fly...the fear of falling is always great...but remember that falling is okay...it hurts for only a short time and then we must pick ourselves up and brush our bottoms off and try it again...and again and again...this is life and it's journey to growth. Don't try to do everything at once...go slow and at a speed you are comfortable with.

Your mother will be proud no matter what you decide...

God bless you...........

January 17, 2000
7:18 am
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hazza
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Hi jo
Karin is right, your mother would not have left money to you if she did not have every confidence that you would or could use it wisely.

She has given you words of wisdom and your memories of that will help you now and stay with you for ever, what do you think she would say about you going to school, you probably know. I think from how you secribe your mother, it sounds as though she was very wise and would approve of you learning a new skill. It is jus your own natual doubts that makes you worries you couldn;t do it but i bet you can and i bet you can do it well.

Remember you are still grieving your loss, give yourself time to say goodbye to the physical part of your mother, but she will always live on in your heart and your memories, when you are stronger and the pain slowly gets replaced by the memories of happy times you had with her you will feel more able to decide.

My advice is to go for it, but it is you who must make the decision, but i do beleive that any learning is a good thing and we must not let fear of failure keep us from it

I wish you all the best as you decide what to do,
Peace
Hazza

January 17, 2000
9:47 am
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jo
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Time will surely tell what is best for me in my life. It's hard to do it alone for the first time. I tell my children all the time how to be responsible to do the right thing to think of others to be independent but when it comes to really doing it on your own without a net it is a bit scary so as a result I am relating to my children alot more. We have more in common then I thought. We all have many new beginnings and with that it can be a little scary. But I don't want to seem fearful in front of my children. I always feel better when I ask for advise here it has been the best outlet I have since she passed. It helps to hear others opinions. Ironic a bit that it is what you feel all along. That's what makes for good advise....to hear from others what your gut is telling you. Maybe she is talking to me and giving me an instinct and direction but in a different more spiritual way. I will have to be more trusting of my feelings. Thank you both for giving me your input you don't know how much it means to me to have a place to come that someone will always listen.
Thanks, Jo

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