Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
i need serious advice, a friend of mine is in trouble...
December 1, 2000
12:23 pm
Avatar
drugfreemeggie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

A friend of mine was raped when she was 5 years old. her mother pretty much gave her up to her grandparents after this happend..so her grandparents were her only family. she went through counseling from when she was 5-15 years old.Through out highschool she has always had emotional problems..and has always smoked pot and cigarettes..once we graduated this past summer, she moved out of her house which was with her mom cause her nana and papa died this past year so she is living with her mom who is not a great mom and really treats her trashy..well she lived with a friend and they partied all the time doing pot,drinking doing meth...it got so bad that i coudldnt visit her anymore..she has slept with so many guys and she says she does it to make them feel happy and knows she is this way because of what happend to her when she was 5..she does not want to be with a guy for love just sex and recently she told me she is using heroin now...and she is addicted..she told me she wants help but cant afford counseling and obviously cant tlel her mom wiht out her mom kicking her out or going crazy..so i care about her so much and i really dont know what to do.. im going to college full time and i dont have a job right now so i cant afford to pay for her counseling..is there any other alternatives ????? any advice would be great...thank you!!! šŸ™‚

December 1, 2000
7:10 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

There are several sliding scale fee based treatments around, you did not say where you are. This is going to be a very hard road for your friend, and I would be so very careful. Most heroin addiction treatment, will focus on the heroin addiction its self, rather than the pain that she is still trying to bury. I would be weary of methadone treatment, either a 21 day program, or a long term until she has failed through her own efforts, methadone is a whole different world, and I am having a hard time in my field with the new treatment protocol which wants to keep the doses up so high, that the individuals are in a stupor. I have been told by my clients that for every month that you take methadone it takes 3 months to get the system back to normal It will take her about 7-10 days to get past the kick, and she may need medical support depending upon how much she has been using. her brain chemicals are totally haywired, right now due to pot, cigs, and meth, and it will take some time, and chemicals to stabilize. Obviously getting her away from the mom would be a good start, and please encourage her to practice safe sex, not just due to the disease factor, but primarily pregnancy. With heroin periods are skipped, and it is hard to know. If indeed she is pregnant, then long term methadon treatment is the current solution for her and the child as long she is not in the last trimester. She need to get an AIDS test, as well as a HCV test, the latest in epidemic diseases with IV drug users. The most important thing to remember, that your friend is the one that must want to give up the life she is leading, for her, not for you or any one else. My personal opinion is that if she is able to kick the heroin, that she needs at least 2 years far far away from where she is now, geographically, and kept in a loving education, working environment , where she can emotionally heal, and rediscover her self. It is very very hard. Good luck, and remember to protect your self from pain, draw your boundry lines. She has made some very difficult to remedy choices, and you may need to continue to keep your distance.

December 1, 2000
9:49 pm
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good advice above for your friend....now what about you? am much as you care you cannot afford to be codependent with this person. She does need serious medical and psychological therapy.

PLEASE REMEMBER--YOU CANNOT MAKE HER CHANGE. only she can do that. She may also be in need of greif therapy because of the loss of her grandperents i.e. family.

This is a dangerous situation for you as you both sound fairly young.

I know you want to "save" her but she is the only one that can do that.
She may have to hit the proverbial "bottom of the barrel" before she even wants to look up.

Be supportive be a friend but DO NOT be an enabler. You can know her, love her and care for her but you cannot and will not save her. That's her job.

IT's a hard fact of life.

She's very lucky to have you for a friend. help her get birth control...Norplant if available for her would be good...nothing to remember.

Read and study the problem and then do what you can. But please remember...her life is HER choice...

Lots of luck and care

December 1, 2000
10:21 pm
Avatar
drugfreemeggie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you both for your replys... šŸ™‚
i'm only 18 years old and she is 19 so yeah were really young... And we both live in southern maine...I know that i can't make her stop i know that she is the only person that can make herself stop leading the lifestyle that she leads.. i told her that i would give her a list of crisis hotline numbers and numbers to counseling places in our area but i told her that she has to call not me..and i told her that if she needs me to take her or to go with her then i would be right by her side..and i tell her all the time how much i care about her...i believe she has been tested for std's a few times, on a few occasions she has thought she was pregnant but thank goodness she wasnt...and last time i checked she was on birthcontrol cause i took her to a free clinic but im not sure if she is keeping up with the prescription monthly.. i really dont know if what she tells me sometimes is true..like the heroin using is such a huge shock to me... i know she acts differently around me then her other friends because i choose to lead a drugfree lifestyle un like the other people she hangs out with so i think that sometimes she may act differently towards me then to her other friends...but i'm really not sure...i guess i just need to stick by her and encourage her as much as i can and let her know that i'm always there for her...

December 2, 2000
9:25 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Of course I have no idea how you react when she tells you any of her new "news"....guaranteed to shock you..

I just read a portion of a book called change you brain change your life...by Dr Amen....

It has brain scan (spect) studies of brain function ...brains on caffeine (scary for a coffee/Mt. Dew drinker) brains of meth..and brains on heroin.

It also had a section on those people who live to get a reaction from others... essentially they NEED it to feel like they are alive.

check your library. It's a really interesting book and the brain pictures might at least give her an idea of what she's messing with.

Look at what you are doing as planting seeds...maybe someday they will grow within her and she will change

You are going on with a life away from her...right?

Good luck.

Bravo to you for being drug free.

December 2, 2000
12:02 pm
Avatar
egg
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Friend:
Our sister needs love and acceptance from her mother.She knows you love her. What she needs to know is that she is important. Ask her her advice about things, even if you don't take it. Let her feel useful, like she has a purpose. tell her you need her as a friend. She has a purpose in this life, we do not know what it is but God does. Pray with her. She needs to be needed in an unconditional way. With no strings attached.Say thank you for that advice I really needed that, I never would have thought of it that way.Take her situation and ask her how she would handle it.What kind of advice would she give someone in her situation. Do not make it seem like it is her situation though. Do things that are productive with her. For instance help poor children that have been abused or something. Help her to understand that because she has been there she can make a positive impact on some young kids life. They can be healed together. Trust in God to deliver her from this chrisis. I will be praying for you and her. God Bless you Both. I am not a counselor I am praying about going to school to be one. I can be your friend.E-mail me if you can [email protected]
With Love your Friend Josie

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110920
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714201
Newest Members:
kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021, Fice1990, KyleGallegos
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer