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I need help, I am CRAVING drugs. Any support would be greatly appreciated
March 16, 2006
7:47 pm
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depressionsucks78
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Hi everyone!

I am a recovering crack addict. I was doing great for so long, and within the last week, I have been just wanting a rock SOOOOOO bad.

Last night I couldn't take it anymore, so I bought two Shooters of Tequila. The buzz that gave me was enough for the moment, but I am still having horrible cravings.

I do NOT want to relapse. Can anyone help me through this?

March 16, 2006
7:49 pm
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depressionsucks78
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I also don't want to become an alcoholic. I know I shouldn't have had those 2 shots, but I figured that was better than doing drugs.

Help me please

March 16, 2006
7:56 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Ds: I don't really know how to coach someone thru this- but do you have any meetings like AA or NA you could go to? Or is there a phone number listed for them that you could call? I know anyone you find on the phone would be helpful.

Just spend time thinking past the first hit, or the next shot- and not about the immediate gratification it will give you. The consequences can be bad.

Did you have sponsor before? Can you call them now?

If I remember correctly, you live in Colorado, right? I don't rememeber if it was a rural area or a city, but there should be somewhere you can go get help to avoid the impulses.

Hang in there. One minute, hour, and day at a time.

SD

March 16, 2006
8:30 pm
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jewel
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Wow, I am feeling the same way right now but for alcohol. I stopped drinking a little over a week ago and am throwing the remaining wine out tonight. Now after seeing it, I am craving it so bad. I am just trying to stay busy and not think of it. Try get involved in something so it keeps your mind off of it. I know. It is so much easier said than done.

March 16, 2006
9:07 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Drinking alcohol will probably increase your desire for cocaine, so don't.

What was the old AA thing...HALT.

Make sure that you don't let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Get plenty of rest, eat well, and stay well-hydrated. Excercise and do things to keep busy. Develop a social life that supports abstinence. AA and NA helps for some people.

March 16, 2006
10:23 pm
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tomgirl
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you'r not alone in you'r pain an suffering I'll say a prayer for you God send strength an healing .My heart crys out for you I have been close to what you'r going through ,God bless

March 17, 2006
12:02 am
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depressionsucks78
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Thank you to all who responded. I have NO social life. I have one friend, and she's recovering too. She's been clean longer than I have and she supports me, but it's still so hard.

I've never been to AA or NA. I kind of have a complex against going. I am staying as busy as I can, but like I said, I really have no life. I am working, and that is keeping me from just going off the deep end, but I am hating work.

I hate my life right now.

March 17, 2006
12:35 am
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needhim
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Just don't do it. THey will ruin your life again. They will take control. You are just now starting to like yourself again. Call someone! Anyone! Go stay with someone who is safe! Don't jeopardize you friends sobriety either. You are both very new to this and really need to take it slow. Your using might start your friend back on that road! Don't wish that on anyone especially yourself. I can't imagine how hard it is. But be kind to yourself! Just don't do it!

March 17, 2006
12:58 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi DepressionSucks,

I can tell from what you write that you are not stupid and you are not a hopeless addict.

That is because you have insight. When you say

"I've never been to AA or NA. I kind of have a complex against going. I am staying as busy as I can, but like I said, I really have no life. I am working, and that is keeping me from just going off the deep end, but I am hating work"

Insane people do not talk like that. Hopeless addicts do not talk like that.

You are neither insane nor a hopeless addict.

Yes, AA and NA have some annoying aspects. They offer only a partial cure. But they DO offer SUPPORT. Social support may be really what you need right now. The longer you are able to refrain from drugs, the longer your natural wisdom and natural healing mechanisms will have to kick in and take effect. For a person like you, AA and NA offer something very positive: A Life.

I submit that at this point, 60, 90, 120 minutes in a boring meeting about trying to not use drugs is a better use of your time than 24 hours seeking, spending all your money, smoking your money in 10 minutes, and then spending 48 to 148 additional hours wishing you still had the money would be.

That is the horrible thing about crack. Almost anything is more pleasurable and a more useful expenditure of time and money. As recreational drugs go, crack sucks.

I hear that you have also started to get at the spiritual roots of your addiction. When you said " am working, and that is keeping me from just going off the deep end" you are really getting at the part of work that gives us strenght, identity and dignity.

When you said "but I am hating work" you are hitting a spiritual nail on the head: the world requires us to do things that deep in our hearts, we feel are unworthy of us.

I suggest that you let the work you are doing be a place-holder for the idea of "work." "Work" is what allows us human beings to transmute our minds and the strength of our bodies into valuable things like money and...actual stuff!"

I suggest that you are already on the path to a better life, that your recognition of what is real is a sign of your mental health and that you hang in there.

March 17, 2006
11:31 am
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lollipop3
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Hi DS,

If you don't me asking....I am curious about why you have a complex about going to AA or NA. Having never been to a meeting.... What is it specifically that you have an issue with?

You don't have to answer if you prefer not to...I was just wondering.

I hope you're feeling better today.

Lolli

March 17, 2006
12:55 pm
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eve
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I think it was very brave of you to come here and ask for help.

This kind of *brave* has nothing to do with bravado and everything to do with trying to face you life as is and making it work for you. So congrats for coming so far. I guess there is a lot of learning to do. I only ever was addicted to cigarettes and when I quit I had to relearn a lot of things. This is irritating, because my routine was such, that it had a lot of cigarettes in it and there where holes in my life that I had to fill with something else than cigaretts or cravings. It helped me, to walk the dogs for a friend of mine, got my mind on something else for a time. And it helped to just be gentle with myself and not too harsh like "silly me, why on earth would I want to do it again, I must be sooo stupid". Talking yourself down will only feed into the addiction, try to learn to be patient and kind to yourself.

March 17, 2006
1:08 pm
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kathygy
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depressionsucks,

you don't have to suffer alone. it will be much easier if you get some support and help from other people.

the more you isolate alone with your cravings the harder it will be to resist.

find an NA meeting or an AA meeting and get there asp. do whatever it takes to stop you from using drugs or alcohol. Call a crisis number for recoverying addicts.

I am not a drug addict nor an alcoholic but I love attending adult children of alcoholic 12-step meetings. It feels so safe and supportive.

March 17, 2006
4:38 pm
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Dear Depression,

What was the most riveting fictional book you ever read? Can you find another book by that same author?

I use my library card, order from regional libraries, am always in search of another stellar yarn-spinner who captures my mind (no room for cravings). Just avoid leaving yourself in the same settings where you find you have reminders. Drink another glass of water. Pick up the phone. Make a list of all the jobs you'd rather have and how to go about getting one. Sign up for a temp service to work those off hours -- reward would be more money??? and a new set of acquaintences? Plus exploring new options for yourself....hang in there.

March 17, 2006
5:01 pm
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jewel
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Depression,

I am reading "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden. It is so far the best book I have ever read. There is a movie that comes out on dvd soon that is based on the book. It keeps my mind off of drinking. Maybe it could help you too.

Jewel

March 18, 2006
9:07 am
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jastypes
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There are two things that I found helped me.
1. Realize that your craving is physical. There is an actual chemical release in your brain if you think about your drug, or come in contact with anything that reminds you of it -- a pipe, a photograph, etc. Knowing that will help you to understand that your craving is real, but it is a chemical craving, and it WILL PASS if you do not act on it.

2. It used to help me to think my addiction all the way through, i.e. I'd love to do some cocaine right now. I'll do it, and it'll feel great. And then my nose will be clogged, and I won't be able to breathe. I'll get shaky and scared that I might have done too much. My heart will race. I'll get paranoid. I won't be able to sleep. I'll jones for more... etc. etc. That used to help me see that the temporary high wasn't worth it.

March 18, 2006
9:51 pm
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depressionsucks78
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Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I think if I had the money right now, I'd do it anyway. I'm just in one of those moods.

I guess it's a good thing I don't have any money.

oh well, I won't bother you guys any more.

Thanks for all the input.

March 19, 2006
12:45 am
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codyrn
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You are not bothering anyone .......trust me I felt the same way when I first came here ....no one is bothered ......

Worried Dad;

Your words were so powerful .... I am speechless and will have to re read them again.......thanks

March 19, 2006
3:47 am
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lost lady
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please consider NA, you make friends that can help you and it gives you something to do. i hope you dont relapse. i have a sister who used heroin and shes in detox (again) but when she uses it kills us (my family). you have the gift of life and day by day youll be further from using and closer to realizing how beautiful life is through a sober perspective. i hope you make it without using and go to NA. your not bothering anyone by the way.

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