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I need desperately to be around other "creative souls....."
March 21, 2007
9:49 pm
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truthBtold
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....and as a post script...WHO - in their right mind just can't
get up and grove to the song...."She's A Bad Mammer Jammer"................

....just as fine as she can be!!!!!!!

šŸ˜‰

March 21, 2007
9:56 pm
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truthBtold
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gracenotes,

Posts crossed. Thanks for your response.

Your story is really inspiring given that I am 46 years old and you are "following your muse" as it were, at a bit older age.

You inspire me so much, you have no idea.

I am so thankful for all of the positive and honest response I receive her at AAC, really - truth be told šŸ˜‰

I guess you just get to an age when you finally figure out that..."THIS.....just isn't working for me any longer!!!!!" you know?

I think that I am perhaps...dare I utter the words...."hopeful" for what the future might entail?

hmmmmmm.

Thanks everyone!!!!!

March 22, 2007
12:17 am
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gracenotes
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truth,

Glad to be of inspiration. I so enjoyed writing that post and the follow up one about my obstacles. Very healing for me. Glad it helped you.

As you get older, I think it matters less what other people thing. I think you are in the power surge part of mid-life, brain is physically growing new connetions, and its time to go for it. This is the big second chance, and this time, its not all cluttered with all that emotional gunk of the past, or at least, not as much. The way is cleared now. What seemed impossible, now seems possible. It really is possible.

If you get a chance to pick up a copy or see the movie The Secret, the commentators could not have stated it any better about our role in being responsible for creating the life we want.

March 22, 2007
7:46 am
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ggfred4
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truth, Not sure you would call it poetry, just a person who was depressed writing down thoughts? I have done it several times in the last few years, maybe a release of sort?

Your story about your ankle...I will never dance like I once dance...was really into jazz, ballet, and tap, even on the high school gymnastics team until the first knee surgery. But, I am pushing myself hard now in physical therapy because I want to dance for fun. My daughters have one of those DDR mats and I loved it. That is what started my downfall towards surgery last year; got a little competitive on the mat. I am determined to get on that thing again, okay, I WILL get on that mat again and dance!

Thanks truth for our conversations last night...

March 22, 2007
3:06 pm
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ggfred4
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okay truth...this one I already posted...I think?...maybe?

Why so many questions, why do I have to know why?

Why can't I accept there are answers, so high up in the sky?

Why do I have to know them, impatience growing strong?

Why can't faith alone be the answer forever long?

Why am I not like others, so patient and so kind?

Always wanting answers to help soothe my mind.

I am trying to give up, to give myself some peace,

Ignoring the urges inside, hoping the questions will soon cease.

While attempting this plan, I feel a sadness inside,

Like a rosebud wilting, under the bush I will hide.

I am still alive, but not yet in full bloom,

I know I will not die, maybe there will be water for me soon.

March 23, 2007
4:56 pm
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truthBtold
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gg,

I really liked your poem!

I agree that looking for answers will damn near drive you crazy!

I am starting to ease up on that a bit myself. I remember a quote that Gloria Steinman once said that has stuck through the years: "Maybe the answer is......that there IS NO answer.

Anyway, at the end of your poem you talked about being a wilted rosebud, but not yet in full bloom and water for you soon - God, this really reminded me of one of my poems:

Room To Grow

Do not hamper upon my roots,
however small and fragile.,
for these are my tiny toes and fingers......
....so soft and spry and agile.

Do not tamper upon my leaves,
however supple and pristine.,
for these bits of green are but a prelude of
something special.....
(yet unseen.)

Do not infringe upon my stem,
however moiling and upreaching.,
for to do so would impinge upon.....
this undaunting soul of seedling.

Do not inpose upon my bud,
however vulnerable and young.....
....for it is like a beautiful aria,
not quite ready
to be sung.

šŸ™‚

I think that it is really uncanny how both of us have written something along the same lines.

Please do continue to share your wonderful prose gg, I look forward to reading more from you!

tBt

March 23, 2007
5:21 pm
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loverbee
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I am like you. I cook, sing, write, dance, write my own music and lyrics and draw and paint. I was with someone who had none of these and it was a disaster. Then I got together with someone who has everyone of my interests and I had so much more fun. We wrote and sang together, shared and critiqued poetry and all that stuff. We supported eachothers dreams because we understood eachothers dreams. In short, you are eventually going to feel stifled in my opinion.

March 23, 2007
5:38 pm
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D dog
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TBT!

S**t, how did I miss out on this thread the past few days?

Can I share a poem? I wrote this many years ago, while driving around with my sister, who is an engineer, and "the success" in our family, while I am the black-sheep hippie writer...

IN DEFENSE OF THE SKY

Buy the sky
And tear down the walls
Of clouds edged in love
Feather-perfect

I showed her loneliness

Shell-thin and aching

The ins and outs of solitude

She showed me wealth

Sleek and fading

The clutching and hissing of hollow bodies

Once-humble architects

Putting glass in the face of the sky

So that we may see

Our reflections in green and gold

Tiny cars, unfamiliar

Rippling past

Girders, gruesome

Ranging black and sinister

On every horizon--

And what will they become?

Taken for granted

In starting again--

When the eyes have dried,

Fixed and staring.

March 23, 2007
5:43 pm
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truthBtold
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loverbee,

I think that you are right. I hate to admit it.

My cats and poetry and playing piano are important to me. He shares none of those things with me - but is a kind soul.

sigh.

I think that you really nailed it on the head.....supporting each other's dream is essential!!!!!!

My sense is that he has some stifled creative tendencies....I've even seen it when we took a short vacation near the water and I saw his creative side come out a bit.

I dunno.

We are planning a vacation soon - a real vacation where we can both relax near the ocean - perhaps that will tell me more.

I know that he is creative and inventive as he came up with an idea that was recently patented - and with Kudos from the patent office to boot citing that it was refreshing to see new ideas come from someone in the US and not another country.

Anyway, loverbee, I appreciate your comeents and experience very much and will certainly keep it in mind.

Thanks.

March 23, 2007
5:46 pm
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truthBtold
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D Dog,

WOW!

Your poem gave me goosebumps and a bit of a teary eye.

Very, VERY profound!

Black-sheep hippie writers UNITE!!!!!

šŸ™‚

March 23, 2007
6:11 pm
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D dog
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Yes - we are here and we MATTER!

I was very bitter in the 80's...maybe I need to get that edge back...spent way too much time worrying about dudes who were not at all a good match for me...single now and hoping to stay that way for awhile...

I have one other poem that is worthy...but long...forgive me if it is boring...written on the balcony of my Mom's house one fall evening...

NEVER FALL

Rain, a dream,a crystal tear,

Trickling in winter's fear

Crashing under skies of silt

Airplane drones, so coldly built

Golden window, neighbor's life

Dogs are barking, sacred strife

Children whistle, alive and cold

Wisdom dares to break the mold

Pavement shines with circles, black/
The air is freezing, calm attacks

Car headlights are whitened eyes

The evening calls its own demise

Dinner, warm,a fragrant breeze

Alcohol, delightful tease

Something in your head amiss

Seeking out the winter's bliss

Climb your soul into the night

Greying clouds, a sky of white

Here I am when autumn calls/
Tears are silenced, fear it falls

Streetlights glow across the way

Remember me, I came to stay

Leaving on a winter's whim

All my thoughts will echo him

Spark of fire, rising smoke

Burning where my heart once spoke

Running deep and running far

Leave a hole and kiss the stars

Somewhere there's another day/
with icy winds and noble plays

Shaking nights and times alone

Here I stay and here I moan

Nothing in this life complete

Shivering in ghostly heat

With my final gasping breath

Wish for you, then wish for death

If you ever hear my name

Think of love, it is the same

Never is a caustic word/
But seldom are truths ever heard.

March 23, 2007
6:25 pm
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D dog
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With hindsight, that kind of reads like a suicide note...but it wasn't. Just...well...wanting to be around other creative souls...written in September of 1993...in Michigan...in Phoenix now, but still feel the same...without all the cold references...LOL.

March 23, 2007
6:26 pm
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truthBtold
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D Dog,

All I can say is: WHOA!!!!!

WHOA!!!!!!

Great fricking stuff!!!!!

WOW!!!!!!

My favorite line: "Wisdom dares to break the mold."

Gave me chills all up and down!!!!

Are you published?

If not - hell, you ought tah be!!!!

I get this newletter from "Poets & Writers" magazine about upcoming poetry contests....you should definently check them out and enter your poetry........for real!!!!!

You have AMAZING imagery.

Incredible!!!!!!!

Any more?????

March 23, 2007
6:37 pm
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truthBtold
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D Dog,

Indeed, one of my poems I wrote, literally at the brink of suicide goes like this:

OH DEATH:

Oh death,

come quickly upon my door....

...and spread your veil of calm......

so that I might FINALLY rest.....

alas,

a peaceful sleep.

(Lucky that I was able to not succumb....though I certainly felt like it at the time..........)

March 23, 2007
6:39 pm
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D dog
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TBT -

Wow, you're makin' me so happy right about now...

Ok, February 1995 (this one was a song):

VERSE:

There I lie in leaves of color

Smoking in the autumn breeze

Stop to think and stop to wonder

Fighting off my own disease

Trying hard to fight my demons

Mold grows on what was once alive

Can't unearth what I've been seeking

If I don't I won't survive

CHORUS:

Do you ever wonder

What seperates us all

Wishing for a slumber

Pleasant drink, just like alcohol

Must I claim the future

If it disappears like dust?

My soul needs a suture

Simple gesture,just a bit of trust

VERSE:

Running in an open field

Green grass and the shining sun

Aching legs and empty heart

Whispering songs that have been sung

Every moment isn't pleasant

Wisdom says it should be so

All my life, a calm remembrance

Willow branches in the snow

CHORUS:

Do you ever whisper

About what seperates us all?

Stopping for a kiss or

Soft embrace, just like alcohol

Must I claim the future

If it disappears in lust?

My soul needs a suture

Simple gesture just a bit of trust

BREAK:

I've tried to find a sanctity
I've tried to find a better me
I've tried to find security
I've tried, I've tried, I'm tired...

VERSE:

Breathing thru open car windows

Music rings inside my head

Clouds sing softly in the distance

Sky is pale and pink and red

I know life is calling somewhere

But maybe it's just in my soul

Weakened smile, tossing soft hair

Mellow wind and bitter growth

CHORUS:

Do you ever cry for

What seperates us all?

Nothing here to die for

Pleasant wish, just like alcohol

Must I see the future

If it's only just

My soul needs a suture

Simple gesture, just a bit of trust.

March 23, 2007
7:06 pm
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D dog
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TBT -

...and spread your veil of calm......

Love that!

Yeah, I never got quite low enough to do it either, and now never will...I'm already 42, it'll happen soon enough...LOL!

Thanks for the words of encouragement, though...what is the name of that magazine?? Poets and Writers? I will Google it...

March 23, 2007
7:42 pm
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truthBtold
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D Dog,

Yes, Poets & Writers Magazine Inc.

Check it out!!!!

March 23, 2007
7:53 pm
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D dog
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Thanks!

You made my day...

:o)

March 23, 2007
8:19 pm
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truthBtold
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D Dog,

Good to know.

I am sure that you will find the proper forum to express your poetic side via this site.

Good Luck - and let us know what happens!!!!!

It's kind of amazing to explore other closed contests and to read the poems that won......some really great stuff out there you know.

March 23, 2007
10:13 pm
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Anonymous
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Hooray for creativity and all the stories shared here. It is nice to hear some sympathy for a situation I felt like I was in too.

I was on a remote Army base in the middle of the Utah desert. Do you think there was a big artistic community there?

My STBX is supportive of my art....too bad he was abusive and doesn't want to work on our marriage anymore.

He has always wanted to get really involved in helping me set up art projects or take photo reference....like he doesn't know how to be creatively successful on his own so he wil help me.

TBT,

Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui

This is an excellent and encouraging book to help you get rid of your crap.

I don't think you life should be just and have what comes your way, but things should be arranged around the most important beautiful things that you need to be you and be your higher-self.

Why not arrange your life around what is important...the perfect relationship or involvement in an artistic and musically minded community.

Good luck with clearing the junk...let us know how it goes!

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