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I MOVED ON
May 26, 2005
8:07 am
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PinkPrincess
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Hi everyone. As you may have read in my past threads, I am a 16 year old girl whos been emotionally, physically, and mentally battered by a freak I called my boyfriend. The other day he kicked me in the leg w/ steel toe boots because I wanted to see his cell phone..I knew he was hidng something and I was right! (6 girls phone #'s!) The day after, I was limping in school. My friends noticed and asked me what had happened. I told them the truth. then word got around and my b/f and his dad had to go to the principal to talk. his dad said he was sick of all the drama. I am too. My b/f said he didnt love em anymore because I told on him. I cried. Now I wish that I hadn't though. But anyways, I went on a date with a very nice guy and hes good looking and sweet and he told me that he promises to never let anyone treat me the way that tim treats me. Iwant to move on and I want to be with this new guy. He reallly likes me. Everyone likes him too. Do you think that I should still speak to my ex or never again? Do i break up with him oer just let him see me holding another guys hand in the hallways at school?

May 26, 2005
8:56 am
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goldengirl
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I think you should break it of with your ex. And take things slow with the new guy don't rush into anything. If you just stop talking to your boyfriend and he sees you holding hands with another guy that could cause even more problems. Just because you have been hurt in the relation, you don't want to get an innocent bystander hurt. I hope everything works out for you.

May 26, 2005
9:09 am
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lollipop3
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Dear Sweet Pink,

When you speak of the new guy you say..."he likes me" and "everyone likes him".....

My question to you is...Do YOU like him????

The reason I ask is so many of us ALLOW ourselves to be CHOSEN instead of being the ones CHOOSING.

Please think about this and just take some time for yourself.

You are young and have ALREADY been involved in an abusive relationship~ I need you to break this cycle NOW before it gets a hold of you.

I'm sure you are a wonderful, beautiful person. I need you to know that. I want you to know that you don't need a boyfriend to be a whole person. You are a person with ideas, goals and dreams. Follow them and don't settle for anything less than you deserve. And if that means not having a boyfriend....then so be it.

Find yourself, before you share yourself with somenone else.

Please keep coming here and let us know how you are doing.

My thoughts are with you.

Lolli

May 26, 2005
9:23 am
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2bstrong
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Hey princess...it's me, 2b.

Please don't think I'm harsh--but you've already answered your own question with the title of your thread--moving on. Your head is telling you that is what you need to do. It's ok if you heart still cares for that guy, but he isn't good for you. Do not tolerate abuse. You are a young woman with a great future ahead of you. Don't waste your time on someone who's behavior is unacceptable. You deserve much better than that, and I believe you know that.

Go for it! Break up with the guy, but don't play games with him, don't try to prove anything to him, just move on. Let him go.

And enjoy time with your new friend!

2b

May 26, 2005
9:53 am
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PinkPrincess
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Thankyou so much for the feedback so far guys!Well I really really like this guy. Hes attractive, kind, funny, I even had a hint of a crush on him before I broke it off with my ex boyfriend. I knew we'd be great together. we've been friends for a long time. and we had a long talk about how I need to work everything out. we're just thinking of how i should break it off with my ex. does anyone have any suggestions?

May 26, 2005
9:56 am
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PinkPrincess
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I was also wondering another thing.... Most of the stuff in my room and everything is all stuff he had given me or something that he left there tc. Also there is a promise ring with our names on it and hearts and diamons. and an expensive necklace....what do i do? some people say give them back but I really dunno. whats the best 4 me?

May 26, 2005
10:09 am
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2bstrong
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pprincess--

Honesty and straight to the point. Tell him in a sincere and gentle way that you are ready to move on from this relationship.

Ask him what he wants back from you--obviously, it things belong to him, give them back. If he gave you gifts, etiquette says that you may keep them.

I would probably return the promise ring.

Just my 2 cents. Hugs and GOOD LUCK! 2b

May 26, 2005
11:44 am
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codep
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dear young pink, I"m a 33 y/o woman who at the age of 15 was abused by my b/f, I married this guy and had 2 children with him, I was stuck in a marriage with children and a very abusive husband. No way out of it, I was so young, I finaly broke away at the age of 21 and it was "HELL" I thought he was going to kill me before it was all said and done. My point here is to really think about what you are doing at such a young age, you dont need or deserve this treatment. leave him, let him be, dont look back. please please save yourself some long heartache and possible danger. you have a whole lifetime to find "the one" concentrate on "yourself" and what you need to accomplish in life to be a strong adult and not choose guys that treat you badly. YOU deserve love and respect start with giving it to yourself first. As far as the gifts/things in your room, if it is his stuff give it to his parents when he is not home, the gifts I would keep unless they bring bad memories then I would get rid of those. I wish you the best little one, please take heed from someone who's been there, please, your life could depend on it.

May 26, 2005
12:20 pm
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PinkPrincess
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Thanks. I know what you are telling me codep. It's so true, and I finally realised it. I really feel like a HEAVY HEAVY weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now. I feel free and young and alive. Before I felt old, and scared, and weak and alone. Now I have a ton of great friends who love me dearly. I am so happy that I have my life back. I think I will give him all of his belongings when he isn't home like you suggested. Good idea. I am very excited about my future now. I don't know why I didn't see this before. Before I felt like he was everything and everything was nothing. I'm going on a date with Nick friday night...I can't wait. He's a nice guy, I guess we'll see how it goes.
What about pictures of em and my boyfriend? and the scrapbooks I had made for us? should I save for memories or do u think that it would only hurt me?

May 26, 2005
12:29 pm
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codep
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It depends on how comfortable you are with keeping these things, It might make you feel better to throw them in a flaming fire and watch them burn! It's very liberating to really let go, It is however a long process, the effects of this guy will remain in your thoughts and your heart for awhile no matter how many "things" you get rid of. It's easier to delete people out of your life then your heart. Just hang on to how bad this relationship was for you, continue truckin forward. always remind yourself that you have your whole life ahead of you and many many opportunities await you, personally and professionaly, this will only make you stronger. keep your chin up and your self worth high! you are in my thoughts.

May 26, 2005
1:11 pm
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Deena
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pink...so very glad to hear you moved on. You are way too young to deal with any crap. I wish you luck. However, tell your ex it's over. It's really not fair not to tell him. Please do not rush into anything too serious. hang out and have fun with your friends.

May 26, 2005
1:18 pm
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codep
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Dee, I agree that he needs to know that she is moving on, but maybe she should weigh out her options with how to do that, he has already been abusive and any time I have tried to confront my "abusers" with leaving, I got abused more and scared into staying with him. write him a letter and leave it with his things to his parents. avoid this guy at all cost...

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