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I love my shrink!!!!!!
September 25, 2002
5:03 pm
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gypsygirl
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He is going to talk with my OB and tell him that it is essential for my mental health to get a Amnio. My OB denied me one saying that I did not need one I wasn't 35, even though I had one for each of my other kids.

This is the best news I have had in a long time.

September 25, 2002
9:34 pm
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Alena
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Well, good for you Gypsy! I hope the amnio will put you at ease some. Is this a new OB who would not do the test? I'm just wondering why he decides to not do one this time, this is your third child, no? Haven't been here for a while, I'm going on memory....

Soooooo, will you let them tell you what sex the baby is? Ready for a girl?? *grin*

September 26, 2002
10:07 am
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gypsygirl
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Thank God someone answered my thread. I was getting angry because no one answers my pregnancy threads. I have had several that have gone with no response. I have a need to talk about my issues, and for me right now that issue is pregnancy.

This is my fourth pregnancy. The first one was born full term with a cleft lip/palate, the second one was three weeks early with five heart defects, an extra finger, butterfly verterbrate, and his heart was backwards. The third pregnancy I misscarried at 5 weeks. My first two I had amnios, ultrasounds, etc. The saw the first baby defects, but not the second one.

Everyone in the world swears I am having a girl, but I am convinced it is a boy.

Yeah I have been here for over a year on these threads.

This OB I have been seeing for a while but he did not see me for my other pregnancies. It was his partner. I somehow got switched when they incorporated the offices.

I would have far less stress and anxiety if they did an amnio. I am so fearful for the health of this baby. It is unfounded fear I am sure, but I need some peace of mind.

September 26, 2002
10:19 am
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Cici
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I'm so glad that your psychiatrist is helping you out. I wish I could chat with you about pregnancy, but I know you understand how I feel, gypsy, because of your own losses. I am so happy for you that things are going well. To be honest, I know I can handle my loss - but you REALLY deserve to have the pregnancy and birth you always dreamed of. I know this is such a hard time right now!!

There's a great forum I found, mostly younger moms and a lot of teen moms, but I found I could relate to them better, and we chatted about every pregnancy issue under the sun, and some I even didn't know about.

check out http://www.girlmom.com, it's a great supportive site. One of the girls even linked me to another site for younger moms who've suffered pregnancy losses, which you may like because they offer support for the special concerns of moms who are pregnant after having had miscarriages:

http://pub64.ezboard.com/bstillamommy (Still a Mommy)

Well, check them out and see if you like them, anyway. I wanted to help and offer more support, but it's hard for me because you and I were pregnancy buddies in the beginning. šŸ™

But in the past few months I've grown to care about you a lot. Many hugs.

September 26, 2002
10:24 am
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gypsygirl
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Cici, I understand why you don't want to chat about pregnancy issues and I am fine with that. I just wonder why everyone else is shying away. I am sure it is because they don't want to upset you. But I am seriously going mad right now, and need support. I only have one or two people in my real life.

I will check out those sites, thanks.

September 26, 2002
10:39 am
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eve
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Hey gypsy - I didn't read this thread, because I thought it was again a person really falling in love whith their shrink during therapy for all the tranference stuff. *simile*

I think its a good idea to get an Amnio. They really can find a lot of things on those. But you are young, so you should be ok. How did the thing whith your meds work out? You ok whith the meds and your moods at the moment? How's your son reacting to the fact that he's in for a sibling?

Take care

September 26, 2002
11:28 am
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gypsygirl
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I thought my meds were doing good for the first few days, but I was late one day with a dose and all hell broke loose. I feel crappy, miserable, and am starting to have suicide ideation. Although I would never attempt while I was carrying a child, it seems to be the only way out from underneath this pain.

My BF is all of the sudden cuddly with me since I have been pregnant. My skin just crawls whenever someone touches me. I used to love when he touched me. I feel horrible for feeling this way. I can't tell him without hurting him.

I am even starting to wonder what I would be like if I hadn't gotten pregnant. i have wanted this pregnancy for six years now. I hate that I feel doubtful. I hate having negative feelings.

Angel is happy to be getting a sibling. He even volunteered to wake up wioth the baby in the middle of the night., so I can sleep. He is soo sweet.

I have given up on therapy, even though I still go to group. My therapist, Sandra just got to busy for me since she got her promotion. I mean what can she really do for me anyway? she can't chase away my deamons. No one can. It was so much easier last year when I just checked out of reality and let my other personalities take over. But that was unhealthy, right? Besides BF would freak out if I started dissociating again.

My head hurts everyday. I am so overwhelmed.

September 26, 2002
2:56 pm
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Alena
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Gypsy, sorry about getting your pregnancies wrong, I think I must have missed your last one while I've been gone...I'm sorry for your loss dear..

Have you ever tried any of the relaxation therapies? I know you've had alot to deal with, I dont mean to imply that yoga would make it all go away, but it couldn't hurt , could it?
Maybe take some time for you, try to take some time to do whatever it takes for you to be able to ease that pain in your head.

Damn, I know that feeling of depression that is so heavy your head actually feels like a ton of bricks. I know when I get like that, I find myself letting my head kind of lean forward like it's too heavy to even hold up...and it feels like it's stuffed with some sort of cotton, or something that is just not right. I also get what your saying about thinking that suicide is the only way out from under that overwhelming pain..but it isn't. Not in your young life, not when you have so much ahead of you. Right now, I don't have an answer for you as to how to get rid of it, but stay here, stay on this earth, medical science could come up with an answer for you today or tomorrow. Keep giving it another day.

Babies are great and they bring so much joy. Think back to how many times Angel makes you smile..take care...maybe try to find a way to relax that mind and just go with the flow of the pregnancy. By the way, I hope it is a girl, any names if it is??

September 26, 2002
3:01 pm
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gypsygirl
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Nicole Simone or Gabriel Joseph.

September 26, 2002
3:49 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hey Gypsy, sorry I really can't answer your threads either. I have my head up my ass these days around pregnancy because it seems like everyone is pregnant and I never will be. Sorry if that seems selfish, I know it does, but can't help it right now. Hopefully others will respond with some good stuff.

September 26, 2002
4:16 pm
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beenthruthat
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Gypsy~

I love the names! I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time right now. All those hormones can make you feel buggy! Be nice to yourself and know that you have made arrangements to have this baby checked with the amnio.

The only other thing you can do is eat right, sleep and dream good dreams.

Let go of those things you can't control and focus on you and your precious little one.

šŸ™‚

September 26, 2002
4:27 pm
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Alena
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I love those names! They just kind of "sing" off the tongue! *smile**
And Nicole Simone is sooooo feminine, I love it.

How far along are you? And will you want to know ahead of time what sex it is?

September 26, 2002
10:45 pm
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gypsygirl
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I am 11 weeks. I am dying to know ahead of time the gender. Most of all I am dying to find out if it is going to be healthy.

I am trying to find a way to relax and de-stress. someone stole all of my "new Age" CD's and classical music CD's out of my truck. I am sure they are shattered in an alley somewhere by now. I seem to be the only soul in this town that digs that kind of music. Everyone thinks I am some sort of freak. I think they got my Tori Amos CD's also. It makes me soo sad.

My back up anti-stress is shopping, but I can't do that till i get my check on the 3rd and plus we are about to make an offer on a house. I have been waiting till week 12 to start buying baby stuff, so nexy week I am going to look for furniture for the baby. We have a cradle already and some clothes, but not much else.

September 26, 2002
11:16 pm
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silence
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Well... You'll have to forgive me, but pregnancy is not exactly my strong point in conversations.

September 30, 2002
10:03 am
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gypsygirl
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I went to the Oktoberfest over the weekend. It kind of sucked. i ate good food though. This girl remembered me from the nightclub we worked at. I don't remember her at all. She was telling me that she just had a misscarriage and that she would have been 12 weeks on tuesday. It made me feel horrible, I'll be 12 weeks on wednesday.

Bookers sisters sister-in-law also just had a misscarriage.

Everyone is having misscarriages.

September 30, 2002
10:04 am
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gypsygirl
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I got some sandlewood, Lavender, and Chamomile essential oils to help me relax and destress.

September 30, 2002
10:25 am
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eve
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Hey, I thought the Octoberfest was in Munich, Bavaria, only?? Hope you had fun. Did you have bavarian polka music? Voluntarily?? Just joking, for a "Fest" I also like this kind of music, sometimes.

Don't stress too much about the pregnancy. Its true that the first three or four months have the biggest risk for misscarriage, but that doesn't mean that you'll have one, ok? My sisters allways waited until they were in month 4 before they told the family and friends, because they were afraid of loosing the baby before that time.
So, you've already made it to week twelve, so the first three months are past you.

Take care

September 30, 2002
10:47 am
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gypsygirl
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yeah they had a Bavarian band. We have the German Air Force stationed here, so it was kind of an authentic fest. They had german beer and food. But this year they didn't have applecorn. Too many people got really drunk off it last time. It's not like I could have drank it anyway.

September 30, 2002
11:15 am
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Alena
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Gypsy, I love the smell of lavender, but ya know what? I must be a really hard nut to crack because none of that aromatherapy works for me....I could stick the whole thing up my nose and not relax! But, then again, that would be hard to relax with that up my nose...*grin* I have a huge lavender growing in our front yard, right outside the porch, it's so nice to sit out there in the summer and smell it..

Have you ever tried drinking chamomile tea? Now that makes me kinda relaxed, probably a psyche myself up for it too. But I guess that's it with any of that stuff, you have to WANT to relax, get your head straight. Good luck with it..

Try not to stress out too much about the miscarriages my dear, it's in God's hands, right? Eat good, read some good stuff, exercise, smile alot, think happy thoughts, good prenatal visits,....that's all you can do....it'll be okay...when's the due date??

September 30, 2002
11:18 am
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eve
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OH NOOOO!!! Applecorn!!! Don't touch this stuff. You can drink it like lemmonade and on the next day your head won't fit through the door. I had my first teenage hangover on applecorn, it was awful.

September 30, 2002
11:30 am
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damaged
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Hey gypsy just like Alena said it's in God's hands. Get out for some fresh air and take a nice walk and eat some of that good cooking of Bookers heheh. Go to the sands and check out the sunset tonight. Have you seen the awesome sunsets the last week?

Just keep talking about your feelings and it will all fall into place for you. You are a strong person and all this shall pass too...

September 30, 2002
12:05 pm
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gypsygirl
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Due date is april 14. I am betting on a tax day baby.

I am more at ease with the prengancy now that I am almost 12 weeks. I guess I just need something to blame my anxiety on. Kind of like if I have a reason for it, then i'm not really crazy, or something like that.

The only sunset i saw last week was the one while I was at the Oktoberfest. I have been indoors alot lately.

I woke up with a massive cold and sore throat today. UGH!

September 30, 2002
12:06 pm
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gypsygirl
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I'm still loosing weight. It's 13 LBS now. Every time I try to gain, I loose. At least I am over the damn morning sickness.

September 30, 2002
12:22 pm
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damaged
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ok first you are not crazy, not at all. We all have our days but doesn't mean we are crazy, ok maybe crazy acting sometimes. On that note how are the nipple rings doing? I am having hell with mine. Just about ready to give up on them. They feel like I just got them newly piercied however I have to really think my nipples are going to fall off before I give up. I started using sea salt again on them. Maybe that will help.

Hope you get to feeling better, and I hope there is going to be a baby shower. So get out of the house and do check out the sunsets are I can send you one by e-mail, BUT I think the baby would rather see it outside and not by mail LOL.

September 30, 2002
1:13 pm
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šŸ™ I took out my rings. they were bothering me so much. I didn't want to risk an infection. Even the barbell rings were to irratable for my newly sensitive nipples. Booker didn't like them anyway. When I have the baby i am going to get my other two tattoos that I want.

It is raining today. i put out my plants for some fresh water and my jars to collect rain water. It is so cleansing for the soul.

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