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I just had to look...
October 23, 2006
8:44 pm
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lovetocrochet
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September 27, 2010
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I found my brother on MySpace... he has a profile there. With lots of friends, and bragging about his great life, how he has all these free flyer miles so he can go anywhere in the world he wants. Several of his friends are actually people I lived with in a dorm in college - they were MY friends first, in fact his wife was my roommate... and now they're all with him.

I knew I'd regret it - KNEW I would... but I looked at his blog again after being so good and staying away for months. His wife is the one who mostly keeps it up. So there's TONS of pictures of him, his family, all the places they've been on vacation. Bragging about their son's report cards... oh just this picture perfect package.

Why did I look??? I guess secretly hoping that what went around finally came around? Hoping someone would finally rat him out for what and who he really is?? Well obviously that's never going to happen, somehow he's the golden child of the earth too.

Then the killer... comments from his in-laws AND MY MOTHER. All gushing about their perfect grandson. All gushing about what a perfect life he and his family have. Everybody worshipping him. All on a pedestal.

I'd sent my letter disclosing the sexual abuse to my brother's in-laws because they have young kids around him. Well obviously they're on the list of people who think I'm making it up 🙁 So all those kids are around a child molester - molesters actually given my parents pulled things too, even if it wasn't touching there was other kinds of sexual abuse.

I am SO ANGRY that these EVIL AND DISGUSTING PEOPLE get to live these pretty little lives of theirs while I'm ostracized and made to look crazy. Where is that fair? I LOSE A FAMILY, all my aunts uncles and cousins, people who meant SO MUCH, because nobody will take my side, NOBODY WILL TAKE MY SIDE. >:-(

Of all the people I wish would believe me, they are the ones who reject me most. Of anything I'd want, the people who I'm supposed to trust, who were supposed to protect me when I was little, are the ones who betray me most. :*( I guess it's true, you always want what you can never have..

I must really have a desire for people to keep beating me up and kicking my butt to go on there and read about all his bragging, his wife's bragging, and everyone fawning and worshipping them like they're just the greatest thing since sliced bread. It hurts, it hurts so much, and I deserve it because I was SO STUPID for looking it up.

October 23, 2006
9:29 pm
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cyndra820
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LTC,

YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!

We all make mistakes. You made a mistake that hurt you very much. Forgive yourself, remember you did what you could, and give it to God or your higher power.

If they all believe he's such a great guy the truth will come out. I'm sure Ma Strong can tell you that whatever is done in the dark will come to light. It may not be on the timeline you would like, but trust that it will come out.

I am sorry that you lost your family. I'm sorry they don't believe you, but for your own sake remember you did what you could to protect his children. You did what you could. No one could ask for you to do more.

Release. Losing you is their loss.

Regards,
Cyndra

October 24, 2006
2:47 pm
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taj64
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Hi. Sorry curiousity got the best of you in this case. I do know how this feels. But give a few days, you will feel better. Old hurts are always relived when you put yourself there, sometimes even accidently. You did not expect to feel this way, when you visited his page, you did not intend on feeling this angry. And it is ok to be angry for all you have been through. But let it be a lesson not to revisit his my space page. You do not need a thing from your brother or your family. You have good things in your life, you have done well considering, and many things to be thankful for. I really do not believe that statement that nobody is on your side. I bet anything that some are, some do know the truth but they choose out of fear and out of speaking out. that is assumtion that could be wrong. As for the bragging, don't you think that is what people do when they want to look a certain way, when they know in fact that it is not that way. Appearance counts more than anything to some. Personally I think my space is a crock. It is either for people to brag, for people to hook up, for people to hide in their worlds and not communicate in real world like in the old days, when there was a house phone. Sure there are some good points but I just don't see the value. It looks like to me my space breaks up a lot of relationships, including family. My advice? Give a few more days, you will feel better and back to your old self. You've got your own special home right there and be glad you have that to come home to instead of relatives that treat you like dirt.

October 24, 2006
3:27 pm
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atalose
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Your not stupid, curiousity got the best of you, that's all.
I can only imagine your hurt and pain, the reaction of your family is quite normal, not to beleive you. It's sad but happens more times then not.
I think your brother is living a facade of a life, hiding behind it all to protect and cover up who he really is. Like a lepard, they don't change there spots, in time his behavior will most likely come out again and at the expense of another childs life, feelings and emotions.
There is nothing you can do about that, you have done all you are capable of doing. You have warned everyone in the family, now if they choose not to beleive you, then shame on them and what a chance they are taking with their children.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 24, 2006
7:50 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thinking of you LTC.

(((ltc)))

Scared

October 25, 2006
7:44 pm
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gracenotes
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lovetocrochet,

Sounds like something I would do out of curiousity. Just a part of the process, really. But, honestly, all this guahing, etc. This myspace site seems so phoney.

I am sorry you are estranged from many family members who are refusing to open their eyes, trust their instincts, and hear the truth. But, I do believe the truth will come out in time. It always seems to with these kinds of personalities anyway. Sooner or later, it will happen.

Meanwhile, I guess one look was enough. Its just part of the learning experience. I guess the question is: how are you taking care of yourself? You are certainly living in greater integrity than those messed up family members.

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