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I just got a text from Mr 22,...what the hell do I do? Soul
September 22, 2006
1:53 pm
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Soulsister
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Hey everyone. Thank you for all of your support. Haven't heard anything else form them. Hopefully, I don't. Although, I could see her trying to contact me again. I am going to write her cell # down, just in case, but I won't have any contact with either of them..EVER! If possible.

I was thinking, she must have had reason, to look through his phone records. I wouldn't look, unless, I didn't trust them for some reason.

Anyway...I'm doing fine. It actually made me feel better about everything, for some reason. Now, I know I'm not missing out on anyone special. LOL!!

September 22, 2006
2:29 pm
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Shaney
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Good for you, Soul. This will all be okay. Although, he felt special at the time, if you really break down what he was actually doing, he wasn't special at all. He's just like a lot of other guys his age who are confused, immature, inexperienced, and generally lead around by their weaner. It's simple, really. He got you through a rough spot, when you needed someone - not necessarily HIM in particular... just someone. He helped you transition - but now its time for you to take some serious steps in a forward direction. Own the fact that you're a good person... and don't settle for someone who doesn't hold that dear. :o)

September 22, 2006
5:25 pm
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Soulsister
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Aaaawwwww Shaney!! SOOOOO sweeet...girl! Thank you!! 🙂

I believe in Karma..and I think he's getting what he had coming to him..for cheating on her..and for treating my shit..at the end. I do feel sorry for her...but, I also have heard that she is a controlling bitch..not really from him..but others..who know her..but, also, she is very young..and has a lot to learn in life. He also, tried to tell her...he wasn't ready. If someone tells you that..you don't force them to marry you. Not, that he couldn't have gotten out of it, but, he did try to tell her.

Anyway..got a crabby baby..talk to you later...soul

September 22, 2006
6:16 pm
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taj64
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Personally I think she knows he is cheating on her. Of course she will exhibit "controlling" signs. This is her husband and she wants to keep the relationship and now she has become insecure. She is going to check. She is going to want to account for time, look for clues because of her doubts. I doubt very seriously she forced him to marry him. He is a big boy and if he did not want to marry her, he could say NO. Don't pacify him. He had a choice he made it. Now you just brush yourself off, and try again but not with this situation. Ahhh, you don't have to deal with it. Your control is over your life, not his, and that is powerful feeling to have for you. Take advantage of it.

September 22, 2006
6:53 pm
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Honolulugal
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Taj, I totally agree with you. This woman may be young, but she has instincts and probably proof of his cheating.

What a miserable existence she gets to look forward to!

Soul, you're right. She was looking through the records because he's a CHEATER! Trying to get you to lie for him. I'm a great believer in Karma as well. He's not only going to get what's coming to him in this life, but in the next as well!

I feel a huge relief about this whole thing. Glad to hear it sounds as if you do, too.

September 22, 2006
7:39 pm
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Shaney
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Yep Taj, I concure. That relationship was doomed from the beginning... it wasn't really based on anything true or concrete. But it's their problem to deal with now. Be strong, Soul and be glad that you're not the one married to him.

September 22, 2006
8:01 pm
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taj64
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Also, I know that many men find controlling and bitch woman attractive. Especially men with low self esteem. Please remember that is what the draw is, and Im taking a wild guess, is why your ex is hanging in there and doesn't want her to find out. Be glad you don't have to be the one to have to search cell phones, pockets etc. It is very painful to have to resort to do that. It is terrible feeling not to trust the man you lay next to at night.

September 23, 2006
1:43 am
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Soulsister
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I know..it was kind of a messed up relationship from the beginning. (thiers and ours)I think she lied 3 times about being pregnant..and there were a lot of things..the dad wanted to tell me..but said it wasn't his place.

I totally agree, she didn't force him..he did tell her he had doubts..but that's as far as he took it. He married her..and then still came back to my house..that night. She's going to figure that out..eventually, if she hasn't already. It is good this has all happened, for me..and probably for them, too. I'm sure they don't think it now..but eventually.

I'm feeling a little more hurt about the way he treated me yesterday but, I'll get over it..just like I always do. It just makes me feel like he never cared about me..and that hurts..because I had thought that he did. How stupid was I? Makes me feel like I will never really know..or trust people. they just always are so full of shit!

Love you all....Soul

September 23, 2006
2:20 pm
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Shaney
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Oh Soul - I don't think that he never cared about you... you just have to look at this that he care about himself more. The things he did were self-serving. He couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted (lust, love, security, freedom)... and you were there to satisfy some of that. He's immature, not completely heartless. Too immature to make a decision and stick to it. He thinking with emotions, not common sense. We've all been there and can relate to dome degree. You got caught up in it, no doubt, but you're smarter and more mature than that whole situation, and now you realize what is right and wrong, and why. He's still out there floundering around with his emotions tripping over his own weanie. No harm done, really, just some hurt feelings on your end, but you can totally recover from this one. This was a small lesson in the big scheme of things, my friend. Don't over-think or overanalyze - just be glad it was short lived and a very SMALL chapter in your life. :o)

September 23, 2006
3:06 pm
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Soulsister
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Shaney...

Thank you..so much for posting back to me. You made me laugh..at the tripping over his own weanie..lol! Thanks for the support..and laughter. Makes me feel so much better. Thanx!!!! You are such a sweetheart!! 🙂

Soulsister

September 23, 2006
5:07 pm
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Soulsister
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copied from the sex thread

Ok..just got done bawling to my friend. She called me, to tell me the wife confrontred her, about me. Apparently, he told her, that she knew me. GREAT! Now, she asked her if I did computer stuff, so now, I'm wondering why? To find me on myspace..or here..I'm being a little paranoid, but SHIT! Remember, my best friend's brother is married to his aunt. SHe told her I love B..and that she didn't know anything about it. She told her that I was not one to continue anything with someone married. Which, after all the lessons I've watched my friend learn..being with someone married..it's a lose/lose situation. So, apparently, she asked here where I worked. Said, she didn't know if she ever wanted to see me. I think, she really knows what he did, but just wanted someone to confirm to her..that it wouldn't happen now that they are married. I cried to her, because of how he treated me. I don't want her to be hurt. As much as I wished he would love me..he never did. He loved her. DUMB little boy..that's all I have to say. THis just sucks! I want to call her..but I know I shouldn't My friend doesn't think she will contact me, but she also thinks I should tell her SOME of the truth, if she ever does. Like that I did care about him..and I think he was confused..but he had told me he loved her..and not me. Ahhh..I'm drinking wine..and trying not to feel. I know I'm all over the place...that is how i feel..I just don't know what is going on inside of me right now.

Soul

September 23, 2006
8:39 pm
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Shaney
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Okay... stop obsessing about the what-ifs, right now. It will never do you any good to worry about what may never happen - those are wasted emotions, period. I would NOT tell that girl a thing, ever. Any little bit that you may think will pacify her, will only open up a bigger can of worms full of drama. Stay removed from this. Any information would be too much, and it wouldn't do anyone, or the situation itself, any justice. It will make things worse for all involved... believe me. I know you cared for him and are worried about what he thinks, she thinks, blah blah blah... but the only person that matters here is you, and what you think. And in order to keep your peace of mind... stop the drama. Drama may come to you from every direction, but it can stop with YOU and your reaction to it. It hurts to see what has come of this, but it was never on a good path from the very beginning - and that's hard to see or admit, when you're in the midst of it. What you shared together was then - leave it there, along with all of the expectations and emotions that surrounded it. Move forward or else I'm coming there to kick you into next month (for your own good, of course, my dear :o))

September 24, 2006
8:27 am
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1lost1
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Joining Shaney in kicking you into next month!

You are a wonderful woman why are you obsessing over this guy? Sweets, it was what it was and it didn't work out. I have had a hard time with that but now I realize what it was.

I am no more capable of making someone care more about me anymore then you. But, you are letting this person take up too much of your time.

Move on love...Take some time, learn from this incident and move forward.

Caring arms hugging you...1L1

September 24, 2006
12:18 pm
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Soulsister
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Aaaawwww! I love you guys! 🙂

I'm moving on..it helps when no one is calling me..like him or his wife..or my friend. Sorta like the no contact thingy. They opened that door again..and opened up my wounded heart. Now, if they would all just leave me alone..I'll be just fine.

Love Soul

September 24, 2006
12:42 pm
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taj64
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Hi Soulsister, You have to let them leave you alone. Don't obsess or do something to get this off your mind. This is not your life to deal with anymore. Dont let you friends either get you to get in the middle. YOu've come this far, be strong as you can be. And let it go. Find peace where it is and don't let the drama find you. you will be fine just like you said. if you leave it also. You've got more important things to do right? Right!

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