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i just feel so disrespected by everyone in my family
July 14, 2007
1:34 pm
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eurogurl
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I dont know, im starting to wonder if maybe i need help.
My eldest son disrespects me in front of my children, and now my children are disrespecting me, and my fiancee.
I am so angry and i just feel like telling them all to fuck off

July 14, 2007
1:59 pm
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Lisa Ann
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I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through that. That is an awful feeling. My daughter will say things occasionally in front of people, but I make it clear to her that she is not to talk like that. That is disrespectful and I do not treat her like that in front of people. My family is very good about not allowing that kind of talk either, which really helps.

I was married to someone whose family always talked disrespectful to their mother and it was even embarassing to be around them in public. There were so many times that I just wanted to tell the kids to shut up, they looked so stupid talking to their mom like that. It is an uncomfortable situation for people around you too. I'm not sure of an answer to this problem, but for some reason it seems like kids and spouses can take their mom/significant other for granted. But, when you are not there to do things for them and take that abuse, they seem to realize what they had and lost. I know that sounds drastic, but do you find that you do a lot for these people and there is no appreciation in return? Maybe you need to take time and focus on yourself and not them, for a change. Just go for a walk or on a mini-vacation by yourself and let them fend for themselves for a while. Maybe they will start to appreciate what you do for them.

Good luck and keep posting!

July 14, 2007
2:18 pm
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marypoppins
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eurogirl,

I think "fuck off!" is the perfect response to that kind of treatment. As mothers, everyone expects us to be so nurturing and loving and forgiving. Worldwide, mothers take a lot of crap. Worldwide, women take a lot of crap. In our homes, especially, I think it's okay to say, maybe before it gets to the "fuck off" stage, "That's not acceptable. Unless you speak to me with respect, we don't need to continue this conversation." With my daughter, disrespect has a price. It costs computer time, phone time, tv time, and so on. I also have to be careful to be sure I model respect for others. But sometimes, I just need to take a time out and nurture myself. Often, I might not be feeling too good about myself, so anything anyone says to me may sound disrespectul.

Good luck.

MPoppins

July 14, 2007
3:16 pm
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maja blossom
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Mary Poppins you rock. I get so caught up in being perfect so my girlfriend won't leave me that i forget completely about me and what makes me happy. Time for some letting go and 'me' time.

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