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I just don't understand...from Sakti
February 1, 2007
1:23 pm
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Sakti
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You ask me last week to drive you to ID in two weeks to visit your daughter for her birthday and I said I was willing until last night when you told me you invited your son and other daughter, knowing the only way they would be able to join us was if the X-wife was willing to drive them. You told me we weren’t driving the extra miles nor was the birthday daughter.

After my X-mas healing I told you I had come to a place of compassion for the X-wife and that I would adapt when she comes to TN to visit. I hope to one day be able to serve her and the next email I get from her I will be thanking her for it and wishing her the best.

I may decide not to go if the X-wife is coming and you will need to find a ride to ID or maybe I will drive you and stay in a hotel room. If this hurts you, then please stop putting me in situations where you get hurt.

When you decided to ask son and other daughter, it dawned on me that you used and manipulated me to go to ID because I know that you and oldest daughter are close, and then you slide in son, daughter and X-wife. The choices I will make to take care of myself compromise me, makes me look like the bad guy and I find myself trying to figure out what I will do not to hurt me or others.

I strive to be on my best behavior, I really do. When I feel happy, nurtured, comfortable and safe, my light shines. When the air is toxic it is like poison, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritual. I do not want to breathe toxic air by my own hand nor yours.

Blessing,
Sakti

February 1, 2007
1:35 pm
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mamacinnamon
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(((sakti)))

Makes you want to spit doesn't it. I don't have any suggestions, I'm sorry, but just wanted to let you know you are heard and cared about.

🙂

February 1, 2007
1:44 pm
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turnabout
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Hey Sakti,

Why do you think he invited his son & other daughter? What do you think he was trying to do?

February 1, 2007
1:56 pm
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Sakti
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I'm not really sure, other than he just wants to see them. Actually, the birthday daughter told him she just wanted time with us.

Beats me...

Sakti

February 1, 2007
2:13 pm
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Sakti
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I forgot something. When X-wife came down for X-mas she allowed the youngest daughter to come down early and told her not to tell her dad as not to hurt his feelings. He told me last nite that he didn't want to be that way.

His family places high value on family relationships.

That's all I know...

February 1, 2007
8:36 pm
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Sakti
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turnabout,

Do I need to go fishing?

Does anyone have any thought on this situation?

Blessing,
Sakti

February 1, 2007
9:39 pm
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turnabout
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well, it's obviously triggered something for you. sounds like you're upset he intentionally created a situation for his ex-wife to come around.

February 1, 2007
9:57 pm
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Sakti
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Yes, maybe it has triggered something. I'll dig a little deeper. I am upset that he intentionally created this situation. He know I don't like being around a lot of drama. He told me the other night he likes some drama in his life. Maybe this is drama for him. He could have ask me how I would feel if he ask the X to drive the son and other daughter to ID. I just don't get it........

I guess it goes back to him not supporting me.

Sakti

February 1, 2007
10:04 pm
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turnabout
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Well, now THAT makes sense. Why didn't he consult with you first, especially knowing you are sensitive regarding the ex-wife? Bet it makes you feel as if he doesn't care about your opinion or how you may be affected in these situations. Even if he had decided to do the same thing and invite the other kids, the consideration of asking your feelings on the idea first would have changed everything, wouldn't it?

February 1, 2007
10:08 pm
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Sakti
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Yep - it sure would have!

Thanks,
Sakti

February 1, 2007
10:19 pm
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turnabout
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So, why don't you ask him why he didn't? And tell him how disappointed you are that he didn't think to include you, as his partner, in making this decision?

February 2, 2007
2:48 pm
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Sakti
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turnabout,

He just this week, gave his sister our money without talking to me about it. When I told him I would appreciate him talking to me about these things he immediately attacked my behavior (sullen, we have had this talk before). I don't believe he wanted to talk about the real issue of "enabling."

So telling him how disappointed I am is really a mute point. Isn't it?

Maybe I should just accept the fact that my way of being in this family for now is not working and give up this "sh*t" so I can be at peace.

Blessing,
Sakti

February 2, 2007
3:24 pm
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turnabout
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I don't know. Is it? I think it's a valid thing to tell him. If the point were to make him do anything differently, then yeah.... why bother? But what if you share this with him just because it's true and you need to honor yourself and your own feelings by being honest about them, even if HE can't honor them?

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