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I just CAN'T let go
October 8, 2003
9:07 pm
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smelly_cat40
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September 30, 2010
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Wow, it's been some time since I've been on this board. I was hoping some of you out there might be able to offer some advice on letting go. Unfortunately it's gotten to the point to where I'm not doing it with just my relationships but almost EVERYTHING in my life. I want so bad to stop the overanalyzing but all I do is obsess over things to unhealthy levels and now I've reached the point of total exhaustion.

I can't keep this up. I have chest pains from stress, can barely breath, my stomach is constantly in a knot, my head is always hurting and I don't remember the last time I unclenched my jaw (much less other parts of my body).

Even more damaging is that I feel I've lost a good friend because of all it. I want to let it be but the tension between us keeps me wanting to push further to "discuss" what happened when she just wants to let it (and presumably me) go. Seeing her each day gets harder and harder, but if I pull away from her then I have to leave our circle of friends (which I really don't want to do).

Any advice?

Thanks,

smelly_cat

October 8, 2003
9:20 pm
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Ladeska
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September 27, 2010
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Dude, you need to get a life!! Seriously, when's the last time you just went out and did things you really enjoy doing? Physically speaking - skating, playing basketball, fishing, canoing, backpacking, learning a craft or skill?

You have too much time on your hands, really overworking the analytical side while the creative side is getting a wee bit - limp.

Are you into music, any of the arts at all? Do you know how to "feed your own soul?" If not, then you need to find out what it wants.

Obssessing and wanting to hold tight to everything tells me that you are starving inside for something...which is usually not what - you are trying to hold on to.

People in your life aren't here to entertain you or feed your own soul. They are here to accompany you on your travel in life. If you suck the very life out of them then...yes, at some point - they will all leave.

So my advice to you is - go find your own juice, something that really makes you feel alive, that exerts your talents, your creativity, your muscles, something that just really jazzes you. If you don't know what that is - then go in search of...try new things, loosen up, learn to be okay with "you" and then you can untighten the rope you have around everyone else's neck.

October 9, 2003
12:24 pm
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gingerleigh
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September 30, 2010
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Pursuing relaxing (weird as that sounds) can help too. Yoga, meditation, heck even getting a massage can help. Are you getting enough exercise?

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