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I Have No Life
July 26, 2001
12:12 pm
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oldone48
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I am an older woman who has no real life. I have a husband, but my relationship with him has been rocky, and I find no satisfaction in my marriage. Since my job is also not very rewarding, I find myself searching for an emotional bond on the internet. I have been coming to this page, trying to help people and I couldn't believe how bad it felt when the page went down and I lost my connections here. I am starting to wonder about myself now. What am I truly looking for when I'm trying to help people? (Especially since I'm not even a counselor!) And why is it that I search for things here? Maybe I should be looking for these things in my life with people I can see and actually spend time with. . . I don't want to sign in under my usual name because I'm embarrassed. And I know there are lots of people who visit this site who feel like I do but might be afraid to admit it. I'm hoping someone will take a chance to respond sincerely. Thanks.

oldone48

July 26, 2001
12:43 pm
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Molly
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you know I wouldn't miss a chance like this. I identify with some of what you said. This is an easy way to connect with people, a way to maybe contribute to others. Some sort of validation that comes from giving, and learning through what we share and receive. We both know we could do this live through some sort of volunteer activity, but there are constraints, getting there, and not as easy as this. School is a good place to go too, to meet people connect, but with house work, work, and ucky marriage or not, he is still there, be it habit, expectations, or a sense of responsibility we still go through the motions. Humans are creatures of habit, we get in our ruts and its hard to shake. We shake them when we are so sick and tired, we are willing to muster up the effort required for change. We can join a class a gym, go to the movies, all sorts of things to do, to rattel the rut, but we must make the choice to do it. So, maybe tommorow? 🙂
I read something the other day about living, really living. It stated that most people only half live. Meaning that we aren't making the most of our time. When we do productive things, it makes us live longer, and with the time we are not really living fully, that part of life or time not used, poisons us, and reduces our life, and time. If you think about it, those that are not as active do have health problems, psychological problems, and just are not real happy people, sorta makes you want to go hummmmmmmm, doesn't it?

July 26, 2001
4:48 pm
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flowers in the window
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September 24, 2010
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You're not alone and you shouldn't feel ashame about your currrent feelings. I'm currently having simlar experiences. I don't feel like I'm alive anymore.. I'm starting to dislike everything and everyone. I don't feel like I have control over my feelings anymore. But speaking about it with someone who cares or understands will help you alot. I hope you find alot of comfort here.

July 26, 2001
9:01 pm
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praying_4a_miracle
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I too, can relate. I've being waiting 30yrs. to have a "real marriage". I want and need for my husband to be cured from his sexual/porno addiction. My life is so unhappy and I'm too stupid to get out of this 30yr marriage and start living. My three children are my only happiness. And they are all grown and on their own. I stay in a depressed state, just existing from day to day. So, you are not alone. I wish only the best for you.

July 26, 2001
10:31 pm
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ranmar1
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I can't beleive that we are put here to "suffer" through life. There must be some reason. Who do we affect, what do we bring into the equation, why do people hurt and lie to us the way they do? There is a reason. I too am just trying to find out why. Stay together with all of us here, and we will work our way through all the turmoil.

July 27, 2001
5:49 am
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lost soul
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We are all here to share, to hear and to be heard. I believe we all have a life of our own, we live once and we choose to be happy or miserable.
I don't believe there is perfections in life so maybe if we compare with other who are a little fortunated than we are then we starts to feel down.

Recently whenever I feel depressed and down, I starts to think of people who are suffering in "worst" situations and I ask myself " What more do I want"

July 27, 2001
1:35 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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Sometimes I think that there is a table of 12 somewhere trying to take over the world. I think it started right after ww2, took women out of the house and put them to work for additional tax dollars to make more jobs, destroyed the youth with child care, and divorce the next thing, preaching violence, as a reaction to abandonment, sex, drugs, and alcohol, to nurture the pain, and a further tumble of society, all alone and hurting, looking for the fix what a better way to take over?????
Where is the structure, where are the values, what isn't a quick fix but the right thing, ever stop to think about the pharmacuticle industry, just how did an entire population get depressed, even meds for the dogs and cats, ????????????
We all need some simplicity, a few tents pitched under palm trees, like Gingerleigh said, Club Med.

July 30, 2001
12:15 am
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malaikau
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Lots of people have been influenced by the negative changes in our society. But not everyone chooses to go out and perpetuate more harm, disrespect, and violence. Lots of people make a different choice. I wonder why we can't simply try to do a better job of teaching people that they can learn from any experience, good or bad, if they choose to do so, and make life better. And with regard to the millions of people out there who are exposed to all the negativity, but chose to spread love and kindness--well, what do they have that others don't? What is it that makes them choose differently?
What makes some of us react to trauma and harm with the desire to love and support, while others react to the same with the desire to abuse and disrespect? How can we all learn to make more introspective, positive choices? I wonder. . .

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