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I have everything I need and nothing I want.
February 9, 2007
3:41 pm
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student1
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I have everything I have ever dreamed of having in front of me. I am a full time student. Married, with children. I go to church every Sunday. I am a published author. A director, I work with youth, and I am an advisor. Why do I still feel vacant.
I feel like an empty business suit.

February 9, 2007
3:46 pm
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shallot
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maybe you need to feel more connected with yourself?

I read something interesting in a book titled Princessa - there was a story in there about a woman who met with a shaman or teacher and she wanted to study with him and when he was ready to speak with her about her study he said, once you study with me you will have everything you ever wanted (etc) if that is ALL you want.

February 9, 2007
3:51 pm
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student1
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Thanks. I have another thread about being under pressure to lose weight.
I have every tool and resourse I need to be 100% successful and was driven and on the road, but it is like I am too afraid to use them. I don't know why. How can I connect with myself when the person who I loved (me) is looked down upon by so many people and under contant pressure to change.

February 9, 2007
3:57 pm
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on my way
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student...I can relate!

I think I can anyway. I was a people pleaser and didn't know it. I lived for other people. I had the wrong concept of love and sacrifice. I too am a mom, back in school, 3 great sons, but divorced, just had a beautiful grand-daughter born, have been actve in church leadership all of my life, and am a born again Christian who loves God with all of my heart. I am 53 and only in the last year and a half have I realized that , yep I know/knew alot about the Bible and God, but dry as a desert. I had knowledge, but no heart...all of my knowledge was in my head, and I couldn't feel. I was also very self reliant. I think it is a path you are on...and you'll find your personal answer, at the right time. But thought I would share my experience just in case you might relate.
God Bless.

February 9, 2007
4:03 pm
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tracylyn
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Hey student -

Sounds like it could stem from some self esteem issues. You have to love yourself. Don't let anyone pressure you to change...you should only change for yourself.

Start looking at your true needs and seeing if they are being met (by you).

Are you happy? What would make you happy? It sounds as though you do a lot for others...what do you do for yourself?

February 9, 2007
4:08 pm
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student1
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I do! It's true, I am desperatly seeking. I am in Church every Sunday, bible class on Thursday, building an at risk youth christian center, yet I feel sad, and desolate. I am tired all the time, sometimes I think I am just lazy, yet I can make a list of things I do. I can give great advise, host a party, love my kids...
I don't understand this, what's wrong with me. I wish there was a diognosis at least, a magic pill that can fix me.

February 9, 2007
4:22 pm
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student1
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Well I thought I did it all for myself, however now that you truely made me think about it. Nothing really. I go to school to set an example for my kids. I major in marketing because my financer told me to. I am involved with youth to try and correct their lives before they end up like mine, and I am an author and publisher to make my family proud.
I don't know now I need to re-evaluate.
Maybe this will change.

February 9, 2007
4:36 pm
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on my way
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student...your identity lies in outside things...which is important to want to do the tings you are doing...it's great...but your identity does not lay in these things...remember Who your real identity is with. It's hard, but you are at least aware, and that is good. I remember feeling like I was a good mom based on how my kids grew up! True, but I fell when they fell, and stood tall when they stood tall. Same with my husband, and I felt I had to serve because I had too. I did it so I would look good to myself and to others...when truthfully, what I know now and has made a huge difference in my heart...is I have only One person to please....and all of the rest of the stuff fell into place!! It has been an amazing turnaround...awesome! So hang in there!

February 9, 2007
4:50 pm
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student1
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Thank you so much. I am tring so hard, but I go back in forth from reading and feeling great and cofident to looking at myself and feeling like it's impossible. My road is broken.

February 9, 2007
4:58 pm
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student1
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Do you want to hear a story? My life is one of the most craziest you have ever heard. I am going to post it.
Why? I am not sure yet.

February 9, 2007
5:53 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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That's the idea. post your story. I like to hear of other people and how they have helped themselves through problems.

You are doing some amazing things. Church work is a wonderful way to feel good about yourself Just remember we find God and peace in quiet times not just at church surrounded by people.

February 9, 2007
5:56 pm
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on my way
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student..yep go ahead.

February 9, 2007
6:17 pm
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student1
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I am posting my story as "My life-like nothing you have ever heard."
Read it and let me know what you think.

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