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i have been diagnosed as a co dependent
January 24, 2005
6:18 pm
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iamagoodperson
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I have just been diagnosed as a co dependent. i have been divorced for three years from a man who verbally, physically, emotionally abused me. i am now in another relationship where the man knows of my history and seems to be repeating the same behaviour. we are currently three days away from buying a house with my money. i feel that i am being used. he says he will go to my councellor as she would like to discuss his behaviour but i feel like i can't tell him this.

i am very depressed.

January 24, 2005
6:21 pm
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shyshy
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I hope your buying this house under your name only. If not I would really really reconsider and don't feel bad about hurting your feelings. If you feel your being used, then you probably are and you will regret it later.

January 24, 2005
6:27 pm
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iamagoodperson
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i have organised a tenancy in common which is 65% mine 35% his. i am not so much worried about the money etc. i can start again. i worry about the way our relationship is going. i feel like everything i do is wrong.

January 24, 2005
6:39 pm
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sewunique
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Three days away is not very long to think hard about this matter. Why are you doing it when the relationship is this way now? Makes me thing you are 'buying into' a trap that you will later regret, even if the menoy is not the issue.

Are you putting up the 65% and he the 35%? Are are you booting up the entire amount and giving him 35% regardless?

"he says he will go to my councellor as she would like to discuss his behaviour but i feel like i can't tell him this"

Have I misunderstood here? He says he will go to the counselor. She, the counselor would like to discuss this behavior with him......but I feel like I can't tell "this" with him; meaning the house, or going to the counselor to talk about his behaviors?

If you were adked this same question, giving your information to someone else, what would you say to them? Do you really befoieve this is a sound idea to get the house in both yiur names, if right now you are having problems with his behavior? What happens if or when you decide to split up? Or the relationship goes sour? This whole situation you have going gives me a bad taste and just doesn't seem right here.

keep posting back as we are here for each other.

January 24, 2005
7:07 pm
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JohnMurphy
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"I have just been diagnosed as a co dependent. i have been divorced for three years from a man who verbally, physically, emotionally abused me. i am now in another relationship where the man knows of my history and seems to be repeating the same behaviour."

You might notice your feelings about being verbally, physically, emotionally, ...ly abused. They have a positive intention and to the extent you fully experience them, the drama cycle dissolves and you set yourself free.

Read about the process at: http://www.seykota.com/tribe/T...../index.htm

You might also read the following article about co-dependency and see if it rings a bell for you:

http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/fa.....ets/43.cfm

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