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I hate men.
April 14, 2004
5:09 pm
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Kessie
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Hey, Artist - just read what I wrote and it looked a little - er - blunt. Wasnt meant to sound unkind - hope you know me better than that, I have every sympathy, believe me!

Cheers, K

April 14, 2004
5:17 pm
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Kessie
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Z - He IS adorable! and I have answered!

April 14, 2004
5:32 pm
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Zinnie
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Kess,

Kind of like my husband... absolutely adorable - out there sometimes, but a better person there never was.

Z.

April 14, 2004
5:55 pm
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Worried_Dad
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artist2

Check out the "Sexually Frustrated" thread for a real life example that would tend to refute the "Men only want one thing" hypothesis.

April 14, 2004
7:03 pm
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orchid
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Worried Dad...of course there are exceptions to every rule!!!!! I was just being fairly general when i was saying that men focus on sex a lot..

April 14, 2004
10:42 pm
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Anonymous
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Yeah, me too. Who doesn't hate 'em. I'm just kidding. I've about had it w/ guys right now. It just felt good to write that.

April 14, 2004
11:07 pm
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free
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I hate mean people.

Mean people suck.

I hate mean things.

Mean things suck.

Male, female, pink, purple, of all species, animal and plants.

Like those thistles that hide in the garden and bite ya when you're having a peaceful communion with nature.

Mean people suck.

free

April 15, 2004
4:32 am
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silence
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at least men are easy to understand.

April 15, 2004
4:35 am
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Kessie
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Yes, sweetheart, but only for other men.

April 15, 2004
4:57 am
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soloart2003
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You don't hate men. You hate boys. There is a world of difference. Once you meet a man, you won't go for boys ever again. That Peter Pan syndrome is a real bore.

You may be taking online stuff way too serious. People do this online stuff for fun, so lighten up and take it with a grain of salt.

Expections are the problem here.

April 15, 2004
8:10 am
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artist 2
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On the surface men seem easy to understand. But they change and flex so much I can never keep up.

I thought people signed up for the online thing looking for dates and people to get to know? The problem I have is people acting loke the losers they are by not following through. Because of a lack of balls, per chance?

April 16, 2004
1:33 pm
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SoloArt...I agree except real men are few in number...they seem to all have gotten married and stayed married or in serious relationships...(probably because mature men tend to try and work things out....

I am so tempted to get embroiled in this conversation but I'm afraid of making more generalizations than I just have! Also, aren't our visions of the world colored by our personal experiences? I mean, if one's choices in the past were unfortunate...than it's hard to think positively of the rest of the population. Unfortunately, I'm looking at other women's choices and frankly, I don't see much worth envying either.

P.s. There is a bunch of reasons why people do online dating. Some innocent and some not.. talk about anonymity and being able to detach if you want a lack of commitment! It's much easier for someone to be careless with their relationship if it is disconnected from the rest of their lives...beware of people seeking disposible relationships. I know, someone I care about and otherwise respect is doing this and it makes me sad for her. Sometimes people forget that there are human lives and feelings attached to the person they meet over these wires.

So sorry for your hurtful experiences Artist. It's rough to go through that no matter how you slice it.

April 16, 2004
1:47 pm
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gingerleigh
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I actually go through more male bashing feelings at work than in my relationship. The men I work with can be raving ego-maniacs. My boss and I are the only females in an IT department of about 30. Most of the problems we have are because the guys all want to be alpha males, and you can only have one alpha male in a pack, right? But then I look at our legal department which is all women and one man, and the backstabbing and underhanded nastiness that goes on makes me thankful for my chest-thumping territory-marking colleagues. 🙂 At least they are upfront about all wanting the CIO's job. *giggle*

April 16, 2004
2:05 pm
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lovesickpuppie
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not all men are driven by sex, some are sensitive and caring but because of pressure from freinds and peers they cant show their true feelings, i only share my feelings with you guys and my girl mates cos my boy mates jus dont care much or atleast they dont show it. but i dont like men much either even tho i am one

April 16, 2004
2:26 pm
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acj
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Men are only allowed to express intimacy through sex. The key is not to expect too much from online dating. Have fun, keep it safe, and don't sleep with them, for heaven's sake, until you know what they're looking for in life, at least a month. You sleep with guys too soon and what do they have left to chase after to get to know you?? Why not sit back and enjoy being persued for a while??

acj

April 16, 2004
3:28 pm
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pigpen
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It seems to me that we all look for ways to overcome being lonely. I think it would be an interesting way to meet people, but kind of scary. You know, when I met my husband I thought he was so nice. I have been married for 19 years, but all I seem to do anymore is piss him off. I don't mean to be crude, but it's the truth. I don't hate men, but I have gotten to the point of hating when he touches me. I can't wait for it to be over. It's like punishment. How can a guy think that a woman would want to have sex when he never has a kind word? It gets old, and makes me feel old.

April 16, 2004
4:20 pm
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Sam7
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Doesn't it seem more likely that you have the problem rather than the fact that about 50% of the population is evil and wrong?

I think it's pretty common knowledge that looking for people in bars and on-line is a really bad idea. So why do YOU keep going back there? What about you causes you to seek out those types of people?

Why not join a gym, or a book club or something and meet some people with interests similar to yours, make some firends and see if a 'normal' relationship is out there for you? It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when people bash men or women in general (all guys are sex crazed pigs/women only like jerks). Not true, I've dated guys who are genuinely nice and understanding and are not in it just for the sex. if they were, they never would have dated me for more than a few months! And I only date nice guys! I live the oppostie of those stereotypes most of the time, but no one ever focuses on that.

I don't mean this to be critical...got a lot to work on myself. But food for thought.

April 16, 2004
4:29 pm
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acj
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Well, I enjoy online dating while I was doing that. I had a couple of very memorable dates. One included a ride in a BMW convertible, raw oysters on the half shell, and football. My dream date! No, I never went out with him again. But it was a great experience.

I don't go to bars and I really don't have time for socializing much besides working full-time and going to school full-time. I don't believe in getting my meat from the same place I get my bread, so dating a co-worker is out of the question. And most college kids are 10 years younger than me.

The thing with online dating is that if you meet someone and go out, go to a public place only after you've talked on the phone a bit. "The Rules for Online Dating" is a great book to read in this area.

But keep this in the back of your mind before you fall for someone you meet online: If he chats with you online a lot and met you online, think of how many other women he's done the same with or is still chatting with online. Luckily, the guy I'm currently seeing doesn't chat online much and I was the first person he's ever tried the online dating thing with. So, I feel very safe in this area.

acj

April 16, 2004
4:45 pm
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silence
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I told a friend at work that I was thinking about trying online dating. he told me not to. He says the only women out there are single mothers that want money. And since I have none they'd just dump me as soon as they cleaned me out.

Makes sense to me.

April 23, 2004
10:23 am
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lewis
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oh my ???

on line dating would scare me

the first meeting would make me feel sick

April 23, 2004
10:54 am
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acj
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Well, Im a single mother making good money. I don't need financial support otherwise I would be seriously persuing the child support owed me.

acj

April 23, 2004
11:33 am
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Anonymous
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I've done online dating its how I met Mr. Jack

April 23, 2004
1:02 pm
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lightoflove
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I tried on line dating a few years ago and had good few dates and also a few that only cried in thier soup the whole time we ate dinner...lol I was just recently asked out to dinner from a long time on line friend but turned it down because I am not ready. When my gut was saying nooo ... I listened. I am spending more time with kids and making memories that they will share for a lifetime to come.

Hugs

Light

April 23, 2004
1:04 pm
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annastar
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Dear acj! Why aren't you persuing the child support owed you? Is it because he does not have money, because you want nothing from this man, if he don't want to offer it, or- because it will keep father of child from trying to get custody?.

April 23, 2004
1:12 pm
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acj
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Well, mainly, they can't find him. I've never kept him from her, though. Once I get my house, I'm going to try and locate him again. At this point, I would not allow him to see her. She's 10 years old and I won't have him coming and disrupting her life. I'd rather her never know him, then know him and hate him...

acj

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