Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
i hate funerals
October 6, 2009
3:02 pm
Avatar
HMHY0302
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

when a relative is sick in the hospitol or dead and there is a funeral, I never want to go visit them because it is so sad and I hate to cry., but my parents and my siblings always make me feel horrible for not going, is it bad that I don't wanna go? Any advice would be helpfull. Thanks in advance.

October 6, 2009
3:04 pm
Avatar
Terriberry
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Can you tell me more about the situation your in, so I can get a better idea..?

Did somebody close to you recently die ?

October 6, 2009
8:56 pm
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think it's okay not to go if you do not feel ready. I often do not go to funerals because I feel the person has already gone. I will go to the cemetery to visit, talk, pray, etc. every now and then.

If you decide to not go, you need to be brave enough to allow your family their emotions about the issue. You do not have to change your mind about your decision or guilt tripped into going, but you also shouldn't expect them to be happy with it. Eventually they will come to respect your decision even if they don't agree with it.

October 6, 2009
9:02 pm
Avatar
HMHY0302
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yea recently my uncle passed away and I didn't want to go but I went anyways,then my other uncle was in the hospitol because his liver is failling because he is always drinking but I didn't go to the hospitol to see him and my family was upset with me...thanks 4 the advice.

October 6, 2009
10:37 pm
Avatar
onlyboringontheoutside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't know if this helps, but I see the hospital visits as something you do FOR the dying person, not for yourself. Offering comfort to someone you love in his final hours can be hard for you because of the emotions it brings up in you, but can be such a comfort for him. If you view the visit in the context of offering love and support for the other person, it might make the visit more bearable. The expression of love in the moment is what matters most.

The funeral is FOR the living. The funeral for me personally provides closure, and so funerals are important to me and I am OK with attending. I also cry at the drop of a hat, and funerals are an OK place for me to give in to my natural soft-heartedness. But some people say their goodbyes in more intensely private and personal ways. And that is completely understandable and OK in my opinion.

October 7, 2009
5:13 am
Avatar
CraigCo
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 39
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HMHY0302,

It's all just subjective really.

I'm the same way. Don't care for the funeral experience. I'd rather remember them the way they were. The 'good stuff', ya know? Nothin wrong with that.

Can't see how it would make any difference to the deceased whether or not you attend. After all, they're gone. Ya think they give a damn about whether you attend a service? Nah! They're no longer concerned with such mundane affairs. The essence of them is no longer there. The funeral is for the people in attendance. Some people feel they need that for closure. To draw a box around it before getting on with their lives. No more IMO.

It's only an issue with the ones who are giving you the guilt trip. Some would say that to be absent from the funeral is a sign of disrespect, but that's just their opinion. They do not know what is truly in your heart & in the end, that's all that matters.

Crg

October 7, 2009
5:16 am
Avatar
CraigCo
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 39
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Meant to say:

To draw a box around it before getting on with their lives & nothing more IMO.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
48 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 108555

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38531

Posts: 714172

Newest Members:

Torrent_Hit, Irrigationdql, Vortexfia, olalaprofi, brianzi18, WilliamGoldPek

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer