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i feel like im dissapearing
August 17, 2001
11:19 am
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ravenchild
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my best friend in the whole world came to live with us a few months ago and in this time i have changed and so has she. at first i had a hard time dealing with the loss of every thing, i had to start sharing EVERYTHING with her and for a 17 year old girl thats really hard. i tried to remeamber that she had it ruffer than me and it must be hard on her not having any thing any more. we stopped doing any thing to gether any more, we stoped talking to each other we couldn't speak with out screaming, it was hell! slowly i got beter about doing things that friends do again. id invite her to go out with me and my boyfriend when we whent out in groups, but all she does is complaine im starting to wish she would leave. but then she did the worst thing she could evr do to me she started to turn my family against! my whole life i felt like i didnt belong with my family and now that we started to feel like a family she comes a long and trears it all a part. i dont now what to do no-one not even my boyfriend of over a year can see what shes doing to me and i feel like I AM dissapearing! help me!

p.s. i also suffer from manic-depression and mood swings.

August 18, 2001
11:52 am
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Katherine
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ravenchild,
I think it is hard to share everything with a friend at any age. I have always had trouble with roommates, especially when they expect that I share everything and they share nothing. Living with someone is never easy, even when married (at least from my experience). Tell me, how is she turning your family against you? Is she saying things about you to your family that aren't true? Let's just find out what she is doing and see if we can find a way to correct it. I know it hurts when you try to include someone in your life and they are so ungrateful for all that you are trying to do that they complain all the time. It makes the activity you are sharing horrible and it makes you feel like you cannot have any fun with this person. As for your manic depression, are you in therapy or taking any medication for it? From what I know (a limited amount I'm sure) about manic depression, it seems that some sort of medication is needed in order to function. I could be wrong, and please correct me if I am. Let's just start by examining what your friend is doing, saying or how she is acting and go from there.
Kate

August 23, 2001
10:12 am
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ravenchild
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im not sure i can explain it. if we get in to any kind of argumetshe turns me in to this big bad guy. its hard to put in to words. some times i have a hard it remebering some things and she takes addvantge of it. now no matter what i say im wrong and guess whos right. some times its trivel little things but some times it gets to be i gave her something that means something to me and it she says i gave it to her im a f***ing B**** thats what EVERYONE says to me and it drives me crazy. as for the deppression i take "depakot" its actualy a sesure med. but its sapost to be good for both my manic-deppression and my mood swings.

August 24, 2001
4:17 pm
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Molly
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I learned a long time ago, that people just do things, it doesn't matter if it was me, or the guy on the street, so I quit taking it personal. As we grow up we change, the friend that you had at 13 isn't the same person when your 17, values, interests etc. She could be trying to feel good about her self, buy making some one else feel small. You are the one who holds the key to the power, don't give her your power, know what I mean, words only have power if you own what she says, don't own it. Smile and feel sorry for her.Friends don't hurt their friends, are you sure she is your friend?

August 27, 2001
5:07 pm
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ravenchild
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yea i guess i am ...
she says she only does it because i hurt her at least thats what she said. sometimes i dont even know who she is!

August 27, 2001
6:59 pm
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Molly
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Do we ever really know some one else?
We just think we do with what we see, or what they choose to share with us.

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