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I feel like everyone else but me understands life!
March 9, 2007
5:25 am
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lilmissneedy
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September 24, 2010
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I feel like a have a sort of social autism. Everyone else goes around and although insecure seems to be able to act happy. I'm insecure as fuck but can't let it not show. I let off needy vibes everywhere I go. My ex boyfriend broke up with my a mpnth ago because he said it 'sucks to be round someone whos sad all the time'. He has now taken all my best girlfriends away from me who I have known since I was 12! (I'm now 19). He drinks and does loads of pot and always used to put me down and let me down-so why do I want him back! I just feel like he is so much better off without me and I am so much worse without him. I have lost him my main support system and now he has taken away all my so called friends. Help!

March 9, 2007
10:45 am
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revelation
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September 27, 2010
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lilmissneedy, at 19 you have learned a lesson that I didn't learn until I was 30. And its a hard hard lesson to learn, but I envy you that you are learning it now and not later like me.

Firstly...don't pay attention to that little put-down "It sucks to be around someone who's sad all the time". My answer to that would be "Well is that so? At least its better than being around a FAKE!". Take it from me...EVERYONE is insecure...everyone has insecurities about aspects of their life, as you say, some people are just better at hiding it...another way of putting it is that they are better at keeping themselves safe.

You need to protect yourself hun, don't wear your heart on your sleeve...only until you can trust. Another way of putting that is saying, your emotions are a big part of you...the BEST part of you...don't give them away so freely. I think where it starts though, the key to all of this is learning to trust yourself...once you can do that and once you can accept yourself then other peoples insecurities of apparent lack of insecurities won't matter any more. Have you tried reading some books on raising your self-esteem? There are some great books out there on that subject. Its all about learning to trust and accept yourself for who you are.

Rev.

March 9, 2007
12:21 pm
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smarterone
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You are not alone, i think most of my friends are gone,, cuz pretending to be happy and problem free is hard. Either some people have not problems or they are good at acting like it. What it comes down to is some people dont care what is going on around them. Everything that happens affects me, it sucks, so i know your pain. I wish i was a cold hearted person, it has to be easier. Go with the flow, as i got older, i have learned how to handle it a little. I hope the same happens for you. In the meantime, we are here for you.

March 9, 2007
12:23 pm
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Rasputin
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Hey Lil miss,

We all suffer & still do from low self-esteem at some stage of our life. You sound confused and disoriented. It's a journey to wholeness and healing. You don't need to suffer alone.

I would suggest to you the following books:

* The purpose driven life, by Rick Warren. This book would help you to realize why you're here on earth, your purpose, calling etc.

* The confident woman, by Joyce Meyer. This book would enable you to become more strong, confident, and secure.

Don't worry hon, you're not alone. We all know what you're talking about. Good luck in your journey!

(((Hugs)))

March 10, 2007
7:47 am
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taj64
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Hi. First off, doesn't look like you have gotten over this guy. Once you do, he won't seem like he is the one that is better off without you. If you work on yourself, you will realize YOU are better off without HIM. It has only been a month since you broke up. Give this more time. Of course you are sad, duh, cause you are unhappy with the ways things are and probably not in a good relationship, one that promotes your self esteem. It is true, people tend to back away from a really negative person. It is ok to be negative some of the time as everyone has there bad days but if you are negative all the time, it can have an effect on relationships. But as your boyfriend I would think he would and could be more supportive of you and try to help you. Sure you have to help yourself but don't you think he should have been there for you a little more? Maybe that is why you feel sad a lot. You say you are insecure but you let it hide. I doubt it is hiding because people sense this and they know it and you are not really hiding it, now are you? How about digging for books like the ones Ras mentioned. I have not read those myself. I think you just need to learn more about yourself and accept you for your good stuff and focus less on the negative. None of us are perfect and that is ok. Sounds to me like you will be better off in the long run without a boyfriend who puts you down this way, you don't need that. Once you like yourself more, you'll see that ugly side to him and you will see that just maybe it is not really your problem. He looks to me like he has a boatload of problems. You will do fine, just keep your chin up.

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