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I feel in love but....would we last?
May 20, 2004
10:51 am
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blondie04
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well HELLER!i feel like i need some help in this situation. ok me and my boyfriend have been really best friends going on 2 yrs now.We have been boyfriend/girlfriend going on 9months. We really feel VERY comfortable with each other and we feel in love. We can talk about anything to each other we could NEVER talk about with anyone else. A couple years ago i felt like i was in love with this guy. Well we ended up breakin up twice & decided we wasnt meant to be.Maybe i thought i was in love w/ him bc he was basically my 1st serious bf. Well now as the days pass, i keep feeling more and more in love with this boy i am dating now. We both agree that we are in love, but the sad thing about it is.. he is graduation this year(couple days from now)and then later in july or so he is moving down south to college to play football. that isnt but 2 1/2 -3hours away BUT the only problem i have is.. would we still last while im finishing high school &him in college?hes starting a new life & tons of girls.Hes very fine but i think im his first girlfriend but hes had other girls he liked but not like me.
At the beginning of our relationship my parents didnt like us together and talked trash bout us but now i guess they dont care and my mom took away my cell phone bc of the large cost of the phone bill.we talk on the internet a lot &at skool. I am soon to get a cell phone back since its the summer. He said we can keep a relationship as long as we have the phone & internet..ya know?he will be back visting after football season but i am so in love with this guy i dont know what to do. if i lose him i will not know what to do. we DO NOT want to break up. ALSO ONE BIG THING! i cheated on him(yes it WAS an accident but ppl say how could it b)well i did bc of my parents & i was under stress but i didnt cheat on him no longer than a month!(i know that!)&he said he could have broken up with me back then but he liked me SO much &he ISNT going to now and hasnt. &most guys break up when the girl does it..is it bc he really loves/likes me?i was his first sex too. Its real weird but we are so in love and hes like the sweetest guy EVER.&ive had many boyfriends.. so.. but WOULD WE LAST? After i grad.(im going to be a junior now)i will move down there for 2 years&we'll see where we should go then.. i just need advice on what to do while he is gone. we both will trust each other tho.

May 20, 2004
12:16 pm
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Miffy
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I think that this is the kind of time when letting go of what is going to happen in the future and enjoying what is happenning now is the best. I never really realised it until recently but even if I go through every possible scenario about what is going to happen in a relationship or anything else for that matter it NEVER turns out in any of the ways I imaginge. So I spend masses of time worrying about something that will never happen. The truth is, as with any relationship it might last and it might not but the only important thing, the only real thing is where you are today.

The hardest thing for me is to let go of the fact that even if I think about things for days I can NEVER control the outcome - I am not G'd. Just enjoy him for now and let the order of the Universe work out the future. I never thought I would say this either but some of my happiest time has been without a guy around all the time. I am currently seeing a guy who I met recently and who is lovely. I worry about a whole gamit of things - will it work out etc, how do I protect myself if it doesn't. I work away and we only see each other on weekends which can be hard but the time we do spend together is enjoyable.

Put yourself first that way you will make you and everyone around you happier (even if it doesn't seem so at the time).

Most importantly - don't forget to HAVE FUN!!!
X

May 20, 2004
2:18 pm
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annastar
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I so agree with Miffy- you never know what is going to happen and have no control over it. Also- when you are so young- you can not tell for sure what relationships is really good for you. It more about friendship- affection. I got married at 17- by the way- we were 2 years apart (service) and it did less. But it did not less longer then 5 years, because we got together for wrong reasons- friendship mostly, but in time- our needs changed. Education, occupation, intimate competability are very important factors, but at 17- you have so many choices! As an adult, and I am over 30, I can say- I know what I want and know that if I find it, it will less- 2-3 hours of driving is not real bad- at my age it would not be a problem. My girlfriend moved to LA from NC and her b/f still visiting her after 2 years- so it may less, same time- keep your eyes open- as I say- it all about choices, and you never know what God has for you. May be you can ask God about it?

May 20, 2004
2:20 pm
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annastar
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less=last

May 20, 2004
4:30 pm
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Zinnie
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September 29, 2010
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Hi Blondie,

I have no doubt that you both love each other, and first true loves are really sweet - and can also be heartbreaking.

Keep in contact with him via Internet and phone (without running up the bill), and at the same time, enjoy your high school years. This is the time for both of you to be enjoying yourselves. High school and college are for learning so you can be an independent adult, but also so that you can grow and learn more about life, and have fun.

I only say that because where I'm from, I grew up in a tight knit Catholic immigrant community. So many people that I went to high school with literally married within a month of graduating. I talked with some of them at our 20 year reunion, and in a way it was sad. They felt either trapped, or divorced. Now, some of my friends had the same situation you do, and they actually stayed together through college then got married, they were happier as they kind of grew up together, but without the stress of trying to earn a living and children at such a young age.

You are only 17, and take the time to really enjoy your life. Don't worry so much about the times that you will be apart while you are in school. If it was meant to be, it will definitely work out. But, you know at the same time... since you are so young - go out and live.

Z.

May 21, 2004
8:45 am
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blondie04
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Yeah, i get all of what yall are saying. I guess i really shouldnt worry about any of it. I talked to his parents last night and i started crying when i went up to them and i was just talking to them then they kept saying just dont rush life yall will be fine. Yall will contact each other everyday im sure. & see i use to hang out with guys with a few girlfriends and like if i hang out with my girlfriends they are going to want to chase guys and i dont want my bf to think i am going to chase them either, ya know? (which im NOT) & i really shouldnt hang out with any guy friends or the specific ones that i hung out with and then i got under so much stress, pressure with my parents & then they was wanting a divorce bc of me and my actions i just had to get something to get them off my case 24/7 & i made a mistake and i talked with a boy out of that group of guys i hung with. I mean i guess i will just not worry as much.. but i mean we dont see each other THAT much.. skool basically then he works on the weekends til about 10 and then sometimes if he goes and sees his friends he gets home bout midnight and we talk about 30mins or so then he goes to bed for church. In my eyes he is the perfect one for me. I mean its so weird but he is. I mean we get along great..EXCEPT when i get in lil moods. But i guess all i can do is just not worry and go on with life and not worry as much as i do.. but i hope he knows ill always be here for him and love him. but what if he breaks up with me!!!!!(IM NOT WORRYIN BOUT THAT BC HE SAID HE AINT.. i just wonder what i would do... and US..i dont know but i think neg. and i feel like suicide but then im like nahh.. but I DONT KNOW.. im just in love you guys!!!!!)

May 21, 2004
4:15 pm
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blondie04
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well i know i just got to make it where i wont think negative to him and i do get hurt easily but i am hoping to get better before he moves to college;);)

May 22, 2004
4:24 pm
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blondie04
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May 23, 2004
3:19 pm
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blondie04
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do guys like to spend a lot of time with their friends and sometimes with their girlfriends? just like chill with their friends..play games.. sports....have fun.. etc.

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