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I don't know what to think
May 22, 2004
10:47 pm
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spacegirl10000
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HI!
Well this is my third thread and I don't know what to think. My Mom says our relationship is like best friends or sisters then Mother and daughter. It took the winds out of my sail, to me I think a Mother and daughter bond is stronger then a best friend or sister. Or am I not seeing it right? It was like I came up short, I would rather her have said we were a Mother and daughter. What do you all think!
Thanks

May 22, 2004
10:50 pm
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annastar
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Could it be just a words, and she mean well?

May 23, 2004
12:53 am
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Anonymous
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I don't know I guess it could really go either way.. Because friends share a special bond that sometimes we can't with our family.. So maybe she ment it as a compliment and was really saying she feels you have both in your relationship. If you are still worried about it ask her to explain more what she ment..

May 23, 2004
1:34 am
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Maybe she meant it in a good way. Mothers often don't feel close to their daughters- don't feel as if their daughters confide in them etc... If you mother says that she thinks your relationship is sisterly, couldn't that mean that there is even more of a trust there than with the average mother daughter relationship? I mean, sometimes between the generations there is a wall...What was her tone of voice, or the context of it all?

May 23, 2004
1:16 pm
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Wanttobewell
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I would think she meant it in a good way but I agree that if it bothers you, tell her how you feel. It is hard sometimes for mothers and daughters to be close, especially during the teenage years and early 20's. Maybe she just feels especially close to you. W.

May 23, 2004
1:30 pm
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eve
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A mother daughter bond is often not regarded as a relationship between equal partners. So I guess your mom wanted to say that she respects you as a grown up person of your own right, too.

May 23, 2004
4:02 pm
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spacegirl10000
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Thank you everyone for your comments I really never thought of it that way. It makes me feel a lot better.
Thanks again

May 23, 2004
4:23 pm
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toutou
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I think its a good thing.Maybe in other words she's trying to tell you that you can trust her and talk to her about anything.Don't just look at her as 'mum' but also as a close person in your life that you can open up to.Well, i don't know how is your relationship with her but if i were you i would take positively.Just think of how many young people who say that they cannot talk to their mum or she will not listen etc...I think you should give her a hug or just ask her what she meant by that.

May 23, 2004
5:17 pm
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spacegirl10000
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toutou
My other thread I explain our relationship, but here goes My Mom and I were very close I lived with her till I was 39. I heard about codependency during that time and we both talked about it but we didn't think it was us. Well I met my husband and it was like to her that he destoryed her life. She hated him for taking me away from her. It has been 4 years and we had a big fight in March and I just stopped talking to her and reading up on codependcy and saw how much we were. First I said it was her now I say it's both of us. I am trying to change she says she has gotten past it and would like me to toss it all in the garbage and get on with life.
It's not that easy really. I don't want to be the way we were fighting and arguing all the time. I don't want to be on the emotional rollercoaster. She has a lot of financal problems and can't live on her own she is living with someone from her church paying $50 a week.
There is no way we could ever have her here she is to controlling and it would destory my marriage and that is first in my life. My brother's are no help one's gay and hates everyone in our family and my youngest brother is in prison for another 16 years. So I am the one that gets it all the time. She goes and visits my brother has pictures taken with him. Oh he is doing well she says and he's getting out sooner anything he says is gospel. He is the biggest liar and she doesn't see it. My brother's can do no wrong in her eyes. Well enough about that.
I do love my Mom but is small doses.
Thanks

May 24, 2004
11:13 am
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toutou
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Hi spacegirl,

Sorry, i did not understand good your post.Maybe somehow i've missed your other post or mixed up with something else.Anyway,now i get a better understanding,and i'm happy to hear that you don't want your marriage to be destroyed.I also think that you deserve to be happy in your relationship.Its also good that you still love your mum,but i guess it's not your fault if she's in such situation.You can support/help her if you want but in ways that you think will not risk your marriage.

Wishing you all the best,

Toutou.

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