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I Don't Know What is Happening to Me
November 21, 2000
6:27 pm
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Dexy
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September 30, 2010
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I'm one of these people who bottles up their feelings, never tells anyone anything so this is a first for me and I am finding it very hard. I am a solo mother with one little boy and he is fantastic. As for me I seem to be going downhill fast. I think I may have a drinking problem but won't admit this to anyone as well as being very depressed. I also suffer from severe migraine headaches which make my life even more miserable. I am taking Prozac for the depression and loads of other medication for my head. I live in a small town and don't know very many people and it's getting to the point when I don't like to go out anywhere because I think people know I'm a hopeless case - I'm probably just being paranoid but it gets harder and harder to go anywhere. My doctor has suggested counselling before but I've said I don't need that, I'm not that bad and it must have sounded convinving enough because he didn't push the issue any further. The problem is I'm a very private, shy person and I don't like talking about my problems which began in my childhood with my parents' very messy separation. I can't even get through the day without crying for some reason - most of the time I don't even know why. I used to be happy most of the time, now I find I need to work very hard to make it appear that way especially for my son. If it wasn't for him I would probably have done something very stupid by now (I have the scars from previous attempts). I sat in my room this morning looking at all my medication and thinking it would be so easy. I just wish I knew how to turn this whole thing around and get my life back.

November 21, 2000
8:00 pm
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lll
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September 24, 2010
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First off, do not do anything irrational. You must always think of what would happen to your child and how it would affect him. You have to seek counseling even if you don't think your problems are serious. I would reccomend seeing a church pastor with a degree in psychology. They will give you all the help you need and a cristian perspective. I don't know your religion, but maybe you could get involved in the local church. It would heal your spirit and give you and your son a chance to meet good people who would openly listen and care for the both of you.

November 21, 2000
8:37 pm
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cerry
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September 24, 2010
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I hear you Dexy,

I am here, a friend who will lend her ear. Do you have a family or friends and not to be pry but when did you start drinking? Drinking as well as your medication doesn't seem to be a good idea. If your taking prozac and still feeling depressed maybe you should see your doctor in regards to the depression. It doesn't seem to be helping you much. Getting out and meeting others would be good for you. And, yes, talking with your minister or local church could help you and listen to your pain. You seem very sad and down in life. Its amazing how many people you can meet in a small town by just going for a walk with you child. I know you are shy but should get out of the house. I use to think that way as to what others would say. Who cares. If they don't have nothing nice to say there not worth knowing. Some people can be cruel and put you down but there are others out there who do care and will listen. I raised two boys on my own and had hardly any food for myself as I put my boys first. I did go back to school with assistance from student loans. I did search and Yes, I was depressed too and at that point it was my boys that helped me through it and I didn't even know it. Come out of the closet and live. Take care and best wishes for you and your son.
Cerry

November 29, 2000
11:07 am
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Anonymous
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i think it helps alot if you sort out your problems in here if you're a shy person.. becuase you just made one huge step forward by opening up your problems to people rather than keeping it secretive.. all the ugliness that sits inside you is dying to free itself. it would only help alot if you make the effort to speak about it to people that you are comfortable with.. and tell them exactly how you feel.. so that you they can understand you and you can understand yourself.. i dont know if there is a quick solution for your situation but speaking out your feelings will help you alot.

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