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I don't know if I can do this Please HELP!
March 3, 2006
6:14 pm
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Fearless
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I thought I was strong enough, but I just don't know anymore, I've asked my husband of almost 12 years to move out, he's moving this Tuesday and I was fine with my decision, but now that the day is getting closer I'm getting really scared and nervous, what's worse he's pretending not even to care if he leaves or not, I know it shouldn't surprise me, he's been playing mind games with me since we got married and I know deep down my decision is the right one but it's my surface i'm worried about, I cant' sleep I spend the night crying I get nauseated I just don;t know how I'm going to be able to let him go, i keep thinking what if he leaves and i end up all alone what if he's right? No one will ever really love me just use me, what if he finds someone else and he's really happy, does that mean it was all my fault like he's always quick to point out... I hate feeling so helpless i feel pathetic wantint to be with someone who only makes me feel worse

March 3, 2006
6:40 pm
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Lt4Others
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Fearless,

I'm happy you found the courage to face your husband on this issue. I'm sorry it's so stressful for you right now. Nothing I can say is likely to make you feel better. I was there. I remember how painful the days were. But I also survived. You will too. For the next couple of days, surround yourself with people who can support you emotionally. Lean on them. Let them help you get through this. Tell yourself over and over that you're doing the right thing. As difficult as it may be, put emotional distance between you and your mate. Don't get hooked by his mind games.

Praying for your strength....Lt

March 3, 2006
6:52 pm
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Thank you Lt, I will try to be strong, if not for my sake I know I can be strong for my daughters who I want them to see that there is such a thing as being happy whithout the need of a man, an abusive one at that. I'm going to be praying a lot these days. The thing that is getting to me the most is that he waits for me to get home to start packing his stuff and if I don't go check on him ( he sleeps in another room) he'll pop his head in to ask if I have any boxes or if I mind if he takes this or that (he already know the answers!) thank you so much for your support I hate doing this I feel like im whining, but if I dont tell someone how I feel i'll just explode! thank you

March 3, 2006
7:02 pm
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Lt4Others
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Fearless,

I work for the military and I certainly don't want anything to explode, especially you. Please believe me when I say that you are not whining. This is your time of need. Don't be afraid of venting. That's one of the main reasons we all come here.

Like you say, you need to learn how to be happy without a man in your life (at least for now). I'm doing the flip side of that. I'm male and I'm learning how to survive without my (abusive) wife. Like your husband, my STBX wife plays all sorts of mind games. Every time you let him succeed, you enable him to be more powerful and controling. I don't think you want that.

For the next few days, concentrate on getting through the next hour. Focus on very near term goals. Don't let your mind dwell on all the "what if" scenarios. Take things one baby step at a time. I had to do that last fall. It really, really works. You will get through this. I promise.

Letting the prayers flow.....Lt

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