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I don't know how to handle someone else's anger
September 25, 2006
4:41 pm
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jastypes
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September 30, 2010
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I honestly do not know what to do anymore. There is so much anger in my home. It is not a place of refuge. It is scary there. My husband is an angry man. My sons are now angry men. Big surprise, right? My daughters express anger by screaming and swearing. They are all SPEWERS. I, on the other hand, am a STUFFER. And I do not know what to do when it gets loud, hurtful, scary, and threatening in my home. I ran away this weekend. Actually left the house -- went for a walk, stopped by a friend's house to cry. When I came back, everyone was calm, but I had all this inner turmoil going on. I still do. My husband is only home on the weekends. My children are 20, 19, 14 and 13. I HATE it when they torment each other.

jill

September 25, 2006
7:27 pm
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ShortCake
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September 24, 2010
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jastypes -

I don't know if I can offer much advice. I would try and talk with everyone, maybe, seprately. Keep in mind your children that are over 18 are adults. My brother was very angry at one time. He turned our house upside down by yelling and showing his anger. After a while, my mother had to kick him out of the house. He was 18 years old. He moved in with a friend, got a job, and as time went on, he formed a great life. He is know 31 years old. He has a great life, job, wife, and bright future. He found ways to control his anger. When he was forced to live in the real world where anger is not accepted he was forced to learn self control. He came to my mother years later, telling her it was the best thing she ever did... she cried because she felt bad for setting that boundry when he was so young. However, it calmed the house down and he grew up.

This is the only way I can relate. Keep this thread going, there are so many people on hear that can offer so much great advice.

I am praying and sending good thoughts your way.

September 25, 2006
7:32 pm
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lovetocrochet
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September 27, 2010
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Jill, like ShortCake said, your children who are over 18 are adults. There's no reason for them to stay and contribute...

As for the other kids, they will continue to get fuel for the way they take anger out as long as you keep them exposed to the source. Unfortunately kids tend to be drawn more strongly to negative examples, it's just the way of this world.

Even if you can't get both of you into counseling it might help you to go alone. You can learn techniques for coping until you can make a sound decision for yourself and your minor children.

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