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I don't have a life....help
November 11, 2000
5:34 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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Can anyone tell me how to answer this question. My bf friend has been working very hard these days and is trying to get his life back together as his ex took everything and put his credit in the hole. He loves his mother and she has helped him out tremendously but he now feels beholden to her. She loves her children but can be demanding and even makes them feel guity. I love this man and presently I am trying to support him in his decisions and listening. At times I feel down but find at times it is hard. I see him only on the weekends as he lifes 2 hours away. I hate to see him like this. The women in his life really hurt him. If you can help I would appreciate it.

November 11, 2000
6:19 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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Hi Merry,
It's always difficult to see what is happening in one's life when one is emotionally involved.
I learnt the hard way way that other peoples feelings belonged to them not me and that I am not responsible for what has happened in their life.
I have learnt to step back from emotional difficulties and ask myself why am I having difficulties such as resentment anger or fear. Usually the reason is that it is that I am not getting what I want or need from the other person.A one way street...women are carers and I have learnt to look after my own needs first.
After my husband died every man I dated was virtually a clone of my husband...fortunately I was not desperate enough to want to be in a relationship without giving it some time to reflect. I thought I was emotionally healthier yet I was still attracting workaholic emotionally unavailable men. The question was not what was wrong with them but what was it in me that attracted similar types?
The journey was fascinating. I am now in a relationship of 2 years and have never been happier. Learning the meaning of true intimacy mentally and physically...love was slow to grow. I know in my soul the roots are solid a feeling I never had in my marriage of 31 years.
I don't know whether any of this helps you. What I suppose I am trying to say is listen to your inner feelings. You are not reponsible for him or his feelings or what has happened to him. Feeling sorry for someone is a waste of energy and time.
We are all here to help oneanother not drain each other...Best wishes

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