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I didn't get out of bed all day yestersdy...No tears left to cry.
February 13, 2006
4:37 pm
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maddogsgal
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feelin lost,
I have to agree with butterflybaby - he is playing games. Know one thing about men - they are mostly self indulging (hence the sex even though he is still mad). Another thing that came to mind as I read over your thread is that he may be putting his own insecurities off on you. Speaking from experience - they will accuse you of an "affair" with no reason, or as in my (and your) case, something as simple as an innocent call or text message from a male FRIEND. I didn't figure out why that would suddenly become an issue, then fade, then come back - Followed by broken plans and promises, etc. until I caught HIM doing the cheating.

I think you should sit back and weigh all the good and the bad about him, your relationship with him, and your relationship you should be able to have with your friends (male OR female) without any interuption from a partner. Saying that, you must remove the fact that you love him, that can cloud your vision.

Finally - life will not end without him. Take the stance that it will hurt, but you are a strong woman and you will get over it. The saying goes: boyfriends will come and go, but friends will be there thru it all.

Good luck!

February 13, 2006
4:38 pm
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Anonymous
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Butterfly,

I enjoy talking to you! I was thinking the same thing. I kind of feel like he wants to be 18 again. He was married for 8 years and all of his friends are single. But if that is the case for Petes sake just say what you are feeling. I think he knows he has a good thing with me but yet he wants to go out with his friends drink and do whatever it is single men do.

I feel like he wants his cake and eat it too! Saturday I was so disappointmed he didnt want to see me. I actually got off of the phone and screamed and cried I hate you. I NEVER do that! But he managed to make me feel like the guilty party, and he managed to make me feel bad for wanting to spend time with him!

He was living with a very Rich single buddy (free of charge) who lives in the fast lane. My bf just bought a house so maybe he is done with this acting 18 thing! I know he will be more strapped financially now so hopefully he will get his feet back on the ground!

Hugs, LOST

February 13, 2006
4:45 pm
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butterflybaby
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Lost,

I enjoy talking to you to. We both seem to be struggling with these dam men. Our stiches might not be totally the same but at the root the men are our problems and it doesn't help that we don't have the confidence we should. We are both super strong ladies who can do and provide for whatever we may desire.

It does kinda sound like he wants to have his cake and eat it to. Most men want that. I would say if you want to back off from him for a little give him his space let him know he's pissed you off. See if he comes around...see if buying the house grounds him some. But I would say if you don't see results soon you can do better than him. There is a man out there that can give you what you want and deserve. Which isn't so much crap!!

It seems like we both have had a ton of crap in the past and we don't need anymore!!!

Hugs Butterfly

February 13, 2006
5:01 pm
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Your situation does not sound like it is going to end pretty. Don't sweep the problems under the rug. I've been there.

February 13, 2006
5:44 pm
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gettingthere
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LOST sorry that this is happening you know me what im gonna say and i agree with butterfly back of him for awhile,get some power back let the silence do the talking ............... you have the right to be p####d off so show him that you are, lookafter yourself ok love, GT

February 15, 2006
11:18 am
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butterflybaby
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Lost,

Just wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing? Hope everything is going good with you?

February 16, 2006
1:37 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi! Thanks for checking on me 🙂 I am slowly begining to realize my boyfriend has an excuse for everything... Valentine's Day, I had planned on making lobster. My boyfriend had his house settlement at 5:30. He called me at 6:00 to say he was stopping to have one drink with the realtors and he would call me when he was done. It was 7:30 and still no call, I tried his cell phone a few times and he didn't answer. Finally he called me back around 7:45 to say he was headed home. I told him I would meet him there.

Then I heard someone knocking on the door, it was his brother and he asked if I had seen my BF, I said I just talked to him. He said me and my GF have been waiting for him at his new house and he never showed up. I told him he sort of did the same thing to me.

A few mins later my bf called again and I called him back. He said I sounded irritated, well of course I was!

After we hung up the phone he sent me a text message saying just forget coming over and save the food for yourself!

I ignored it and went over anyway. I will tell you the rest later..

February 16, 2006
1:58 pm
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gingerleigh
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Uh oh, I hope this isn't going where it sounds like it's going...

February 16, 2006
3:23 pm
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Anonymous
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I got to his house and he had an attitude. I told him to knock the bs off! I told him everytime some one diasagrees with him he gets a major attitude. I suggested that we need to learn to communicate. He said if he didn't have a girlfriend he wouldn't have to talk!!!!

He said he was still upset about the text meassage I recieved and he doesn't know if I really love him like I said. GRRRRRRRRRRR

We manage to make a good night of it anyway but I feel like he has an excuse for everything he does...

February 16, 2006
4:42 pm
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butterflybaby
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Well it sounds like he has an excuse for everything and if he doesn't have anything new he will just keep going back to the old ones. I think that is bull that he brought up that text from like forever ago again.

I think it is good that you said you guys needed to work on communication. I would say to try and just stay focused on yourself and get yourself where you want to be and if he is still in your life and fits in then great but if not you can do better.

I am very annoyed with men right now...sorry if what I am writing is a little harsh.

February 17, 2006
9:45 am
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Anonymous
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I am irritated too! I feel like I am being a complete idiot, I have this huge sign flashing in front of me and I don't want to look at it! Why can't I just admit this isn't working? Why do I think I can fix everything?????

February 17, 2006
9:59 am
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butterflybaby
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Hey,

I totally get how you are feeling. i am in the same boat. I always think I can fix everything. I figure if I just stick with him long enough and keep at it..that eventually things have to change and then he will love me so much after that.

I am slowly realizing that, that idea is totally crazy. he is never going to change himself until he wants to which who knows when that would happen. I am very sad about my stich cuz I put so much into him and us. The one thing I know though is that I am getting to the end of my limit. I look back on my relationship before my current bf and I stuck around for 8 years with him and things went from ok..to bad ...to worse..to horrible...to us hating each other and I had to get a restraining order against him. I don't want things to get like that ever again.

I want something better more happy more doable...

I know that sign starring you in the face is very scary to look at it and I would suggest just looking at it a little ....to try to realize everything all at once is to much...so take those baby steps...thats what im doing

: )

February 17, 2006
10:08 am
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Anonymous
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butterfly,

I feel the EXACT same way. I am so frustrated. I feel for you too.

Hugs, Lost

February 17, 2006
11:08 am
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gettingthere
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LOST how are you sorry i havent asked you lately got my own man probs also need to walk but keep finding myself saying just a little bit longer then i will,,i hope thing arnt to bad for you havent managed to keep up with you take care GT

February 17, 2006
12:02 pm
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Anonymous
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getting there come join our thread why do I think I can fix everything?!?!? Miss YA!

February 18, 2006
6:41 am
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gettingthere
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lost having a real hard time at the moment thanks i needed that right now i will be back to tell you all he is being really horrible to me right now miss ya too GT

February 18, 2006
10:47 am
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Bazil
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Hey FEELINGLOST ,i'd like to know that too....why do i never give up and why do i think i can fix everything. Can we chat. I need some help

February 18, 2006
11:31 am
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ryny143
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Hi everyone! Well here I am, in the same boat as you guys. I feel the same way in that I try to fix things with my bf SO much, despite his careless attitude. It's so frustrating to try to make someone change & care as much as you do. But trying to give up is even harder! I've tried 2 times this week, expecting apologies and some type of effort, but I dont get it....which strangely makes me try harder! My situation currently is that I am so tired of being treated like garbage for the past few months, I'm trying to do things to keep me happy. He just told me he is sorry & things will change, but when I tried to talk more deeply about the specific issues, he flipped out, and said "I said I'm sorry, take it or leave it. Your acting like a psycho and I dont need this in my life." So I'm planning to keep busy for the day with little things.

People always say that you dont necessarily have to end it all and give up completely, but to take small steps, and in time that will help to get over things better, but I'm not exactly sure what small steps they mean. Any advice on this? I clearly cant give up and be ok right away, but I want to make my own life better day by day, with or without him. I hope everyone's situation gets better~ It's nice have u guys

February 21, 2006
9:43 am
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Anonymous
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I am sorry I missed everyone over the past couple of days. Maybe we can cath up today?

February 21, 2006
10:10 am
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butterflybaby
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How are you doing today feelinlost?

Good to hear from you

: )

February 21, 2006
11:04 am
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BoneT
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Feeling lost today, I would like you to try something for yourself get on the site and look up letting go the best explanation I ever heard It's by Bill Fergerson if that dont help you ask butterflybaby I told her to read it and it appears to me that she is giving some heads up advice on site latley I can tell because when your on site for awhile you start feeling other peoples wellness kicking in get out of that bed dry your beautiful eyes look in the mirror then find Bills explanation of letting go I bet you get right back on site in a matter of minutes you caqn do it BoneT Let me know if I can be of any help t you ask butterflybaby if it helped her.

February 23, 2006
3:17 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks!

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