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i deal alone
March 6, 2007
2:34 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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abused as a child and now an adult i have wonderful guys in my life but find it hard to trust and be loved i cant express me in my own life and the only person who lnows me is me so i guess it will have to be.

March 6, 2007
10:49 am
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smarterone
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September 24, 2010
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I understand you, i had a horrible childhood, married early, 2 kids, divorced after 20 yrs. Intimidated by everything cuz of the fear instilled in me from my dad who died thank god when i was 18, then dealt with my mom who is just as whacked as me cuz of him. Married second time, ten yrs, reminded me of dad. He is in prison, divorcing him. Life is all screwed up and finally im at 56, understanding that this is my life. Im very hard to make happy but dont mean i want material things, just peace. My son, is 30 and is on and off drugs, court and everything but i cant reject him cuz of who i am. The b/f now is a saint, but i tell him, you are better off leaving, cuz i will make you miserable llike me, he wont, but thru all these words what i mean is that its so hard to find what is wrong with me. I am on meds, but i dont know, i keep moving, no friends, everyday seems to bring another problem, well i guess you see what i mean, i should stop, i wish you a ray of hope in your life. We have no choice but to make "lemonade out of the lemons", heard that recently and stuck. God bless.

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