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I cybered online and feel horrible
February 6, 2005
2:39 pm
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hartless
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September 29, 2010
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I was missing him so much...I went into a chatroom and got propositioned...it was my bf I was with in my mind....brought me a little comfort but I feel 'dirty'. It didn't feel like it was a person on the other end but more like writing a novel. Sex is what I miss most. I miss the intimacy, the looking into one another's eyes...I just miss him. Has anyone else gone through this...something you would never do at any other time...
Sue

February 6, 2005
2:46 pm
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on my way
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hartless, you sound so depressed, and when you are depressed, the best decisions are not made. What can you do to get past this, any thoughts?

February 6, 2005
2:51 pm
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hartless
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I've been reading articles by Kathyrn Alice online and they have been helping. She suggests that when we think about him or her, we should say, "______, I release you to your higher good. I am free now." I say to your God.
As to the chatrooms, I am feeling pretty ashamed...but know I need to be gentle with myself..so I made a mistake. Who the fuck cares!
I'm listening to a relaxation CD at night..sometimes it helps..other nights, not so much. I just hope he stays away from me....I'm not sure I can be that strong right now.
Sue

February 6, 2005
2:55 pm
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on my way
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sounds like you are takin gpsotive steps though...and we all make mistakes, some over and over. Just stay out of the caht rooms, post here where no one knows who you are, and ask questions about things you want to understand. There are people on here who have been where you are, and those who can offer positive suggeestions and feedback. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. It doees and can get better. And from experience, soemtimes switching mental channels works whn you think of him, and other days it does not work...on those days post here, talk to a friend, work through it, and don't give up or feel stupid or ashamed. That will only place you in a downward spiral.

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