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I cracked! Please help!!!!!!!!
December 26, 2005
11:51 pm
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FindingSelf
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I called her just half an hour ago! What a stupid thing to do! We just spoke on MSN and she put a picture of her and her new bf in her display picture while we were talking. When I called her I asked her if she wanted to give our relationship another chance, and she said yes. But she's still with her new bf! She said she genuinely misses me, and wants to see me again! Is this a positive or is this a negative??? What fo I do? We still plan on meeting on Thursday and I've changed my plans that I had made initially as a result of this phone conversation. I'm going on Thursday and I'm going to get this over with. I want her back in my life, I harbour no ill feelings for what she's done, and I understand what she's going through because I've been there before and came back to the relationship. I would fully be able to trust her again, and love her unconditionally! What should I say to her on Thursday? How should I proceed? Please Please help me!! AHHHHHHHHH! I do feel better now that I talk to her, but I'm not sure if it's groundless optimism, or a sense of moving forward with my feelings!

PLEASE PLEASE offer me some advice!

December 27, 2005
12:24 am
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Lostrose
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Do you really want to get back together with someone who is already in another relationship?

If a person is in one relationship & then breaks up to be in another she/he could do that to you. Are you willing to take that chance?

Another thing if you do want her back then my suggestion would be to take it one day at a time and date each other to see if whatever happened in the past will stay there.

Whatever YOU decide be careful & good luck.

December 27, 2005
1:32 am
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FindingSelf
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I'm more than willing to take that chance if she decides to come back. I did the same thing to her a year ago, and came back when I realised the mistake I had made, and the depth of my feelings for her. I though at the time that I needed somebody else to make me happy, and she's more than worthy of my love! I love her completly and unconditionally, and only want her to be happy with whatever life she chooses. I'm ready to move on with my life, and I want her to be in it. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post! I've thought about all of it and know exactly what I want out of my life, with a certainty that I've never felt before. I've spent a month figuring things out, and know that I need to spend at least a few more before I can give what I need to give to any relationship that may or may not happen between us, or with somebody else, but I've found peace, and have positively dealt with any negative feelings that have come to the surface in light of the recent events of my life. I feel confident now that I will be able to find this positiveness with a minimum of effort at every turn, and that I will be able to make my life whatever I want it to be, with or without her in it.

As two codependents in a relationship together, we struggled to fulfill each others needs in all of the wrong ways, and I believe that with the knowledge I've gained of myself and the perspective I've got on the circumstances of our relationship and our eventual breakup, that if she decides to give us another chance things will work out, and if she decides to stay with her new bf, and make things serious between them that I will find a happy and fulfilling relationship with somebody else, but I really don't at this point see any point, when things between us can work out.

Thanks again for responding and for your well wishes! I know know that everything will be alright!

December 27, 2005
1:43 am
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FindingSelf
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I've come to the end of 4 serious relationships over the course of my life now, and have always found the right things to say at the end. Three of those things were goodbye and goodluck, but this on is different. The right things to say came to me the last time I spoke to her, and I think I've communicated effectively exactly how I feel, and what I consider possible in the short, medium and long term future of my life, and what I'm able to give to her during each of those time frames. This relationship for me, is the only one that has ended with me feeling good about why things have happened, and what I want to do about them. I felt I understood why things happened during my other relationships, but not with so much clarity, and I felt good that I learned from them what I could and moved on. This relationship left me feeling good because I feel I've matured considerably, I feel much older than I did a month ago, I see things much clearer, and I understand myself an enormous amount better. I feel good about feeling the way I feel, and I feel good about the prospects for my future, whichever way things work out between me and my ex. This time around, the words that came to me that allowed me to express - as precisly as possible with words - how I feel were not that there are no hard feelings, lets move on and forget about it, but I love you so deeply and profoundly that this relationship has been the biggest instigater of change in my life. She can never hurt me, no matter what she does or says because the love I found for her is overcoming. I don't have unrealistic expectations for our relationship in the future, and know fully well that it may never come to be, but the peace that I've found within is so powerful, that I know if I have to I'll be able to love my next gf without condition as well, and that will make me happy no matter what! Love has set me free!

December 27, 2005
6:37 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hey, it is ok to gamble on love. But you have to understand that it is a gamble and not let it be the end of the world if you dont "win" what you want out of it.

But if the woman is not honorable and respecting of you, then in your current condition you are going to be creamed. Cross your fingers.

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