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I can't think of a title for this one!!! Uh...."Compromising one's Peace"?
August 2, 2005
11:39 pm
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Maybe somone might be able to help me to understand what could be happening, as I describe here:

I cannot have peace, if I have to compromise my space, my routine in my home, and only in my home. I am flexible anywhere else.

I had one month to myself, much needed, and actually found that I? like being by myself. I caught up on my sleep, my downtime, my alone time, eating healthy time...I took care of me. It was glorious, everything was in order, I could think, had peace, a clear head, all was mine to do with. Having dedicated my life to raising my boys, this was quite a treat. I love them, very much, but I sort of think this is my time now at least for a little while...always a mom, but now at a distance type thing.

They keep coming back. And when they do, I feel powerless, adn I lose my space, and feel as if I lose my freedom to be me, I lose my peace, my routine which I just established goes out the window....and I hate to lose it so badly. I don't want to adjust, I don't want to change anything for anyone anymore, because I just got all of that to enjoy...

I don' think I am being selfish,I am just an old mom...not old yet, fairly young...and I want to say hey!!! It's MY turn!

I do not function well if this is interrupted anymore...

Has anyone here ever expereinced this, and were you able to find a middle ground to exist in it, because it cannot be changed as soon as I would like. And I am not willing to leave my home to get away...I love my home, and I love coming home and being here.

August 3, 2005
12:20 am
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OMW, I had to giggle as I was reading your post...since it is now 11:30pm and sleeping is not an option because of the poker game going on in my kitchen:) lol

I am the mother of 3 boys, 2 of which have gone off to college in the past few years. When my first one left for college, then two years later the next one went to college also, then my ex remarried and all of a sudden wanted to keep our third son every other week (we live close to each other), I thought I would just dry up and die! I hadn't had any "alone" time in the past 20 years, because I had been pre-occupied with raising my boys. So now, all of a sudden, at 40, I get all this "quiet time". HA

Needless to say, I was bored silly. All of the craziness that goes along with 3 boys and their friends and activities just STOPPED, cold turkey. Well, it seemed that way anyway. It was awful quiet!

Well, about the time I got used to "my time" by filling it up with things I wanted to do but had never had the time, they COME BACK HOME! lol
Even though it is temporary (they are all home this summer which is a first in several years), I am going koo-koo! The house stays a mess, they want me to cook all the time, and they stay up waaaaaaaaaay to late:) But, alas, I remember what it is like to be "young" and have their energy, so I just smile and remember that "This too shall pass..."!

6 more weeks, baby, and I'm homefreeeeeeeeeeeeeee til Christmas:)

August 3, 2005
12:25 am
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Oh, and I do "get the hell outta dodge" some weekends just to have some peace of mind. I wave goodbye to them, as I'm pulling out of the driveway, say I love you, but don't call me unless somebody is dead or dying:) Just kidding!

They look at me like I've lost my mind, cuz I don't feel like I have to tell them where I'm going or what I'm doing...I'm all grown up now:) lol

Also, it helps to get ear plugs!

August 3, 2005
12:29 am
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3 boys here too, and I love them silly. Would be good if I could just go with the flow....without drowning in the current!! But boys are awesome aren't they....oh..the emergency room stories I could tell. 🙂

Thanks for your post..I feel a little better!

August 3, 2005
12:37 am
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Boys ARE awesome, OMW! They smell bad, they're messy, they miss the toilet seat and hit the floor more times than I care to count, but they LOVE THEIR MOM:) Uh...that would be ME! lol

God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys! Most days I don't understand them, and they don't "get" me either, but they are very protective of anyone who might try to mess with their mom. Like I can't take care of myself:)

How old are your boys? Mine are 22, 20 and 12. I used to think they were growing up soooooooooo fast, and now I can't get them outta here fast enough! ha j/k

Poker game still going strong...oh, I outta be a joy to be around at work tomorrow:)

August 3, 2005
12:50 am
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I love boys too, and was so glad i had boys instead of girls...maybe my grandchildren will be girls! I always said God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys too...they were so much fun growing up, and yes they protect and love their moms! I love that about them...and when we are all together I think to myself, wow!! I can't beleive these young men are mine...and they are such big guys! If I stand in the middle it is like having Ft. Knox around me!! Not sure how good that is, but it does look a bit funny. Over all they are great young men....except they love me so much they keep coming back inbetween their next adventure?!?!?

Mine are 23,21,18. 6'2", 6'5", 6'6", respectively.

You have a great attitude, sounds like you are one of those moms who just move through it all fairly well. I don't know why I am very protectiveof my space now...just a bit complex.

August 3, 2005
1:04 am
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I haven't always had this attitude, trust me! Anxiety medication helps:)

I'm hoping for lots of granddaughters myself (well not anytime soon, but someday:)

I'm so protective of my space, I'm thinking of building a pool house/mother-in-law apt. or whatever you want to call it so that I won't be so stressed next summer. I have to laugh about it or I'd cry:) I've always been so anal about wanting things clean and in their rightful place (a little OCD), and it's just impossible to do that right now when they come home and they are moving in and out and in again. I should've saved those tears I cried when they left...didn't realize they'd be back so soon:) lol

Ohhhhhhhhh, the irony of being a mom. Can't live with them, and can't live without them:) Well, it's midnight, and I think the last of them have departed. Think I'm gonna call it a night! Thx for keeping me company:)

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