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I cant take it anymore
September 25, 2000
3:01 pm
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scooby-dooby-doo
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September 30, 2010
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I really hate my school so much. Its not just the school, its the people. I feel like I'm not welcomed there. When I miss a day, nobody askes me where I was or if anything was wrong. It seems like nobody even cares about me. I know deep down that some people do but nobody tells me and I dont get any attention from anybody. I have this friend that will do anything to get attention. Even act really stupid and she gets all the attention she wants but when I do the exact same thing because I want somebody to talk to me they think I'm stupid. I dont get it at all. When I'm at school, nobody talks to me or even says hey. It really hurts my feelings that nobody cares if I'm there or not. To me, my school is an ugly place thats doing nothing but hurting me and I cant stop or change it. I am failing all my classes because I cant deal with being there. I love the band. Its the only thing that I'm good at and I want to be a music teacher. Being in band used to make me happy but now I dont care about anything anymore. I want to end it all and leave all the pain behind. I dont have anybody I can talk to. I'm not good at expressing my feelings out loud. I'm better at it through writing. Thats why I came here.
I just really need something to get my self esteem back. Nodoby knows how I feel because I dont know how to express it. I hide everything with a smile and I just cant do it anymore.

September 25, 2000
4:27 pm
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Cutie14
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September 24, 2010
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Hello. Oh my gosh, I kinda know how you feel. I feel the same way! I have recently written in here a thing called "depression and suicide" you should read it because then you would know that I feel the same way. I know that it is really hard to go through, but like you I love music too:) I also know what I want to be when I grow up, an Interior Designer and an Architect and the dream of becoming those things is what keeps me going. Sadly that is all that keeps me going it seeems. So I guess what I am trying to say is that just keep thinking, dreaming, anticipating that time when you will become a band teacher. I hope that I may have helped you feel at least a little better. Stay strong and don't do anything that you would regret becuase if you lets say kill yourself, you won't be around to see how everyone reacts and so it wouldn't be worth it. If you need to talk e-mail me a [email protected] or IM me at SHORT N SWEET NA Bye for now:)
Cutie14

September 25, 2000
11:17 pm
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scooby-dooby-doo
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September 30, 2010
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thanks cutie. you made me relize that I'm not the only one out there that feels this way and that there are people that will talk about this stuff and that do care. thank-you.

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