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I CAN'T SAY 'I DON'T LOVE YOU'
December 31, 2000
12:11 am
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BESL
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HELLO EVERY ONE, DON'T LAUGH. I AM NOW THREE TIMES DIVORCED. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS. I KNOW THE DRILL, BUT. I MET A MAN. IT WAS A YEAR AFTER MY LAST DIVORCE. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, BUT I AM ONE OF A FEW. I HAVE SUN, WED, THUR. NIGHT AND TWO OF THOSE DAYS. HE SEES OTHER LADIEDS ON THE OTHER DAYS OR NIGHTS. HE SAYS HE HAS HIS LIFE ALL PLANNED OUT. HES BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES ALSO. HE IS COMMITTED TO ONE OTHER LADY FOR ONE NIGHT A WEK AND A WEEK VACATION, AND TWO SHORT TRIPS A YEAR. FOR ME HE HAS THE COMMITTED OF THREE TIMES A WEEK, BECAUSE I AM SPECIAL, HIS SPECIAL FRIEND WHOM HE SAYS I LOVE YOU SPARINGLY. AND WHEN I RETIRE HE WANT MYE TO MOVE IN WITH HIM IF I WANT TOO, AND WE WILL TRAVEL TOGETHER, HIS TREAT. MEANWHILE MY GUTS ARE HURTING. HE SAYS HE WILL ALWAYS TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW THING ARE SO EVERYTHING IS UP FRONT. I FEEL SO OUT OF IT. I KNOW I SHOULD SAY GOODBYE. WHY CAN'T I. WHAT IS IT THAT HOLDS ME HOSTAGE? THANKS FOR LISTENING

December 31, 2000
1:03 am
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Kim1370
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Your guy has a lot of faults, but at least he's honest! He's his own timeshare!
You must have a lot of love in your heart to be able to love someone like that. There is someone out there who deserves your love - YOU!!
My best advice to you is to lock yourself away somewhere away from potential relationships until you realize you are a wonderful loving interesting person who deserves a lifelong committed happy romance. Then find another person who agrees with you on that, and live happily ever after.

December 31, 2000
11:27 am
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R2D2
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And why shouldn't he be totally honest? If it's okay with you that he spends other nights with other women, what has he got to lose? It's not like you've given him any reason to withold the truth. If you accept his other women, you'll probably accept anything. I wouldn't go giving him any medals of honor just because he tells you how unfaithful he his.

You need to RUN the other way. Get the heck away from this guy. No trips or couple nights a week (because you're special) are worth the low self-esteem he is going to keep feeding in you. You will never be "good enough" to make him quit seeing other women, you will always question what is wrong with you and love him for giving you the little that he gives you. You will always think the problem is with you.

Please do yourself a huge favor and try to live on your own for a while without a man in your life. Give yourself time to heal and find yourself. Divorced 3 times is a miserable feeling and probably a pattern of some sort. Try to step out of that pattern and be good to yourself..by yourself. Find YOUR inner peace. Good luck.

December 31, 2000
3:35 pm
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janes
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September 24, 2010
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I agree...get to a relationship counselor and away from this guy...

If for no other reason than he may be the world's best advertisement for Sexually transmitted diseases. In this day and age you are not only sleeping with him but also withevery other partner he has ever had and it sounds like this guy is a refugee from the 70's...."love the one you're with..."

YOU deserve MORE than three nights a week and every third Thursday if there is a full moon.

We can all say "at least he's honest"

That kind of honest is just causing heartbreak!!! He must love to find women who buy this line.

Run don't walk away from him...

If you are so "special" why aren't you the only one....

There is a man somewhere who will love and cherish you and you alone.

YOU are worth that

December 31, 2000
9:33 pm
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vr
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September 24, 2010
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Your 'guts are hurting' for a reason. They are telling you that this is wrong, wrong, wrong. And you know it! You just aren't trusting your own instincts. Please go see a counselor for confirmation.

January 1, 2001
3:49 pm
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daisy
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September 24, 2010
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I have to add my agreement to all the folks who wrote before me. This guy can't give you anything but pain. Maybe some time out of circulation would be a good idea. Maybe peace and quiet and some solitude would help you find why you need company so badly that you will tolerate this shabby treatment. Best wishes.

January 2, 2001
10:28 pm
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BESL
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Thanks, all of you. I did't realize Ii had so much support and information at hand. The thought you have expressed are really hitting home. Thanks for your time. Happy New year to all of you.

January 2, 2001
10:46 pm
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jwt
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September 30, 2010
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I think we probably have a lot in common. The comments from R2D2 really hit home for me.

I wish I understood love...why we love who we love. I just know that sometimes any choice we make will hurt.

January 3, 2001
10:39 pm
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TaeQT
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It is always the hardest thing to end a relationship when you have deep feelings for a person. It is time to be selfish though... It sounds like you have been willing to make comprimises that you werent completely comfortable with and although you were aware of the situation, you went along with it... Decide how much self respect you have or essentially need, how much you want from a person, what you are willing to accept and give... and don't settle for anything less than you deserve or want... It is never easy, sometimes the world can seem like a very lonely place- but when you have yourself and realize that- it isn't always so bad... =) Take Care!!!

January 4, 2001
6:01 pm
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Molly
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We women are so damn stupid sometimes. Ok, so now maybe it is clear what the gut ache is all about. I guess you weren't feeling real good about your self, and setteled for the "special nights" because if you were not home alone you felt special. Come on girlfriend, don't you deserve a real relationship, I mean don't get me wrong, if you want to settle for this go for it, but don't give up your job, money, apartment, or life, or heart for this player, and boy does he have you played. Yea he is honost allright, and you have setteled for every bone he tosses, but some how the gut, knows that this is not right even if your brain, both of them knows different. He is a user, and unless you are using him too, cut the heart break right now. What an egotistical ass, and to rub your nose in it, and then to put the crown on his head you accept it. This is a rocket ride that is going to end with a dud. So protect your self, play it if you like to play with fire, but expect to get burned, and you will with some one like this, because he will soon find another special person, while you are wondering when the next trip is!

January 5, 2001
10:56 pm
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BESL
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September 27, 2010
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hELLO EVERYONE. thank you for the time to write and tell me what you think. I now have a week off to visit my son and his wife in another state. alone. I think this will be a good time to get my head clear of what is important. Me.

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